[blparent] [Bulk] Re: [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions

[Tammy, Paul and Colyn]

Hi,

I pretty much had the same experience with both my sons.  I got the feeling 
that the social worker asks all new parents the same questions, so I didn't 
feel like he was askign me stupid questions just because I was blind.  My 
doctor must have asked me 50 or more times whether I had help when I got 
home, but she never included the word sighted in the question and she was 
always very comfortable with both me and my husband's blindness as well as 
our ability to parent our children.  She even ordered a private room for me 
so my husband could stay with me and I wouldn't have to pay for it.  It's 
very refreshing to find a doctor like that.   The nurses in the hospital 
when I had Remus were very willing to help in whatever way they could, and 
they were happy to listen to us when things didn't work quite the same as 
with other patients.

Tammy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Leanne Merren" <leemer02 at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 2:49 PM
Subject: [Bulk] Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions


>I think that touring the hospital and getting to know the staff is a very 
>good thing.  I think it helped the staff feel more at ease with me with the 
>birth of both of my daughters.  After both girls were born, in two 
>different hospitals, I had a social worker come to help me fill out the 
>paperwork for the birth certificate and social security card, and to offer 
>me information about moms' groups and other resources.  I was asked a 
>general question of whether anyone would be there to help me when I took 
>the baby home, but it was obvious that it was a general question.  I had 
>one nurse ask me if I was comfortable being alone in my room with the baby, 
>and she said she just wanted to make sure, since she hadn't had much 
>experience with blind parents.  I thanked her for asking, and I told her 
>that I would let her know if I needed any help with anything.  I told her 
>to feel free to ask any questions, because I would rather have people ask 
>than to assume things.
>
> Mason's birth was a whole different story.  They actually made me give up 
> my baby when I was alone in the room for the first 24 hours, until I got 
> myself together and started talking to the nurses about the situation.  I 
> hadn't realized at first that it was because of my blindness.  I thought 
> it was more about the c-section recovery.  I was a scared, first time mom 
> too, so I wasn't even sure what I was capable of right away.  But after 
> caring for him for 24 hours, as much as I could, I told them that I could 
> keep the baby in my room, even when I was alone, and that there was no 
> reason I couldn't. One of the nurses stood up for me, and alerted some 
> people in charge of what had been going on, and some people got in 
> trouble.  So that experience taught me to be confident, and to let people 
> know where I stood, instead of letting them intimidate me.  I learned a 
> lot more about that later on when my kids all went through medical exams 
> and treatments and all kinds of experiences.  You don't realize what 
> you're made of until you become a parent. *smile*
> Leanne
> "Faith is being sure of what we hope for
> and certain of what we do not see."
> Hebrews 11:1
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at pcdesk.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 12:55 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions
>
>
>>I was lucky enough not to get much interference from social workers when 
>>Sarah was born.  I don't know if it was because her sighted father was 
>>there most of the time or what.  There was a doctor who asked if I would 
>>have help at home.  I said yes, and he didn't ask any more questions. 
>>(Personally, I think whether there will be help is a valid question for 
>>any new mom, sighted or blind, especially now that I've been through the 
>>newborn phase myself.)  Nobody asked me if I had everything ready for the 
>>baby, which I did, and the nurses spent a lot of time trying to help me 
>>get nursing established, with no comment about my blindness.  The only 
>>social worker I saw asked me about financial issues, but Gerald and I made 
>>too much to qualify for the hospital's sliding scale.  It was nice to have 
>>such a positive experience at the hospital.  I think part of the reason 
>>everything went so well is that I took not only the childbirth classes, 
>>but also the baby care and breastfeeding courses, and I had a tour of the 
>>maternity ward and asked a lot of questions, so by the time I delivered my 
>>baby, I was kind of a familiar face to many of the staff, and they knew I 
>>was taking my new role as a mother seriously.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed 
>> until it is faced."--James Baldwin
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Melissa Ann Riccobono" <melissa at riccobono.us>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 6:47 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions
>>
>>
>>> It's interesting about hospital social workers.  I actually was lucky 
>>> enough
>>> to have a good experience with the social worker who visited me after 
>>> Austin
>>> was born.  She seemed to stick to standard questions.  She did ask if I 
>>> had
>>> everything ready for the baby; actually she didn't quite put it that 
>>> way.
>>> She asked if we had a crib or a bassinette, a car seat, etc.  I could 
>>> hear
>>> that she was taking notes and checking things off a list.  The hospital
>>> where Austin was born often deals with high risk and very poor moms and
>>> dads, so I felt a lot of the questions were based on the fact that so 
>>> many
>>> people who pass through really do need a lot more help and services.  I 
>>> was
>>> also offered WIC.  I don't know if this was standard or not, but I just 
>>> said
>>> I knew we made too much to qualify and I was left alone.  The person who
>>> made me the most nervous was a doctor--not the one who delivered 
>>> Austin--who
>>> kept asking if I had help at home, and if I thought I could manage 
>>> because
>>> of my "handicap."  Luckily, even though I was still in labor and not in 
>>> the
>>> best mood, I managed to answer him calmly and firmly and nothing else 
>>> was
>>> said.  Then there was this extremely annoying nurse who was completely
>>> thrilled because I could find the toilet paper in the bathroom and I
>>> "navigated so well!"  She questioned my ability to nurse because it's "a
>>> very visual thing to know when the baby's mouth is open so you can stick 
>>> the
>>> nipple in.  Are you really committed to nursing?"  Thank goodness I knew 
>>> my
>>> sister, who is also blind, nursed three babies successfully, and that I 
>>> was
>>> committed to nursing unless there really was a reason I couldn't--such 
>>> as my
>>> body not making enough milk, or Austin really having difficulties of 
>>> some
>>> other kind.  So, I was firm on that point as well.  It is amazing though
>>> simply how uneducated the public is!  I love the people who ask me if I 
>>> had
>>> someone come in to "adapt" my house for the baby.  Yes, there are child
>>> proofing companies and they are great if you want to use them, but I 
>>> think
>>> it's crazy for people to believe that just because we're blind we don't 
>>> know
>>> what is dangerous for a baby or small child.
>>> Melissa
>>>
>>
>>
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