[blparent] "General public" and their impressions

Sun Jun 7 04:28:01 UTC 2009

I get that same remark about my daughter.  I answer she is a great big help
when I need print read or her room picked up, but she is 9 and I am a big
help to her.
When she was born the social worker came and asked if I would need any help
at home and my husband and I replied that we had a lot of family.  She was
happy with that response.  I did not say they would come help me as I wanted
to learn how to care for my daughter with just my husband at first.  We
actually did not take her to meet the rest of the family for 2 weeks. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Karla Hudson
Sent: Friday, June 05, 2009 4:17 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] "General public" and their impressions

Hi group, 

I have been a silent observer watching the discussion about the "blind
parent meeting" and topics to be covered.  

The discussion that Tammy had with her mail man hit a note with me.  I
sometimes get from people responses like "I bet your daughter is a great
help to you."  My husband and I have a solid answer "where it is age
appropriate."  If you allow people to go there with the twisted way the
"general public" thinks they will have the impression that your children are
doing the laundry, cooking the meals and reading your mail.  I really think
that many sighted people are that clueless.  I do not want to discount the
stuff my children do accomplish but care giving of their parents is just
absurd by sighted adults.  I mean really haven't these people had children
and learned the capacity of a four year-old! Okay, so that is my "soap box"
about that one.  

As far as stats and real numbers.  The organizations of the blind should
probably give some real substantiated data.  However, there is no substitute
for real life stories.  

We did have an interesting situation with a hospital Social worker and nurse
who had 27 years experience with the hospital, when we gave birth to our
first child.  Even though my doctor had done some prep work with writing a
letter in our file indicating our independent abilities.  I later found out
that the hospital Social worker had not even taken the time to read our file
before meeting with us.  She was later reprimanded by the CEO of the
hospital.  We were also offered WIC.  I have no problem with WIC but she
failed to again read that both my husband and I were employed and made too
much to qualify.  I am sure the Social Worker was made even more embarrassed
to find out that her husband and mine were both working together on a major
project at their employer.  What a small world for this lady who made so
many mistakes.  

I think by sharing our stories we let other couples no what they are up
against and help them hope for the best but prepare for the worst when it
comes to the "general public" and hospital experiences when having their
children.  I would be interested to know if more blind individuals are
bothered by CPS when they are blind couples or single blind parents.  I
would bet these couples and single parents are targeted more often.  The
hospital seemed pretty insistent that I have sighted help when I came home.
I lied and told them we did but in fact one of their hospital employees, a
good friend of mine, who happened to be blind as well was coming to help.
Joke was on them!  

So that is my story in a nut shell.  There are more details about the first
go around with the birth in the hospital.  I won't drag on with all the
details.  The second time around things went much better with our son.  

Our daughter is now seven and just finished first grade.  Who says to blind
people can't raise a kid!  By the way I have two friends both in their late
80's who raised ten kids.  Back in the day nobody question their abilities
or sent CPS.  I guess everyone new just to stay out of others business that
families took care of their own.  

Karla Hudson              

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