[blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions

Sun Jun 7 04:37:18 UTC 2009

I was also lucky.  Since Gab was born with pneumonia I got to stay in the
hospital but I lived 20 miles from the hospital.  I didn't want to leave her
side so they put us in room together- we were really lucky but my hubby
couldn't stay so since he had to feed the dogs went home every day.  Luckily
we only had to live that nightmare for 7 days.  V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Elizabeth Cooks
Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 10:46 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions

I actually didn't have a problem at all htis time.  My doctor knew months in

advance that my husband and i are both blind, the pediatrician on call was 
wonderful when my son was in the NICU, and the most the social worker did 
was chekc that we had everything in order, try ot set things up so that i 
could stay at the hospital while my son whas still there; that wasn't a big 
deal, since i only lived three or four blocks away.  She also gave us some 
money for things we needed, which included the rental of a breast pump that 
I could use while my son was still in thwe hospital.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Melissa Ann Riccobono" <melissa at riccobono.us>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 6:47 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions

> It's interesting about hospital social workers.  I actually was lucky 
> enough
> to have a good experience with the social worker who visited me after 
> Austin
> was born.  She seemed to stick to standard questions.  She did ask if I 
> had
> everything ready for the baby; actually she didn't quite put it that way.
> She asked if we had a crib or a bassinette, a car seat, etc.  I could hear
> that she was taking notes and checking things off a list.  The hospital
> where Austin was born often deals with high risk and very poor moms and
> dads, so I felt a lot of the questions were based on the fact that so many
> people who pass through really do need a lot more help and services.  I 
> was
> also offered WIC.  I don't know if this was standard or not, but I just 
> said
> I knew we made too much to qualify and I was left alone.  The person who
> made me the most nervous was a doctor--not the one who delivered 
> Austin--who
> kept asking if I had help at home, and if I thought I could manage because
> of my "handicap."  Luckily, even though I was still in labor and not in 
> the
> best mood, I managed to answer him calmly and firmly and nothing else was
> said.  Then there was this extremely annoying nurse who was completely
> thrilled because I could find the toilet paper in the bathroom and I
> "navigated so well!"  She questioned my ability to nurse because it's "a
> very visual thing to know when the baby's mouth is open so you can stick 
> the
> nipple in.  Are you really committed to nursing?"  Thank goodness I knew 
> my
> sister, who is also blind, nursed three babies successfully, and that I 
> was
> committed to nursing unless there really was a reason I couldn't--such as 
> my
> body not making enough milk, or Austin really having difficulties of some
> other kind.  So, I was firm on that point as well.  It is amazing though
> simply how uneducated the public is!  I love the people who ask me if I 
> had
> someone come in to "adapt" my house for the baby.  Yes, there are child
> proofing companies and they are great if you want to use them, but I think
> it's crazy for people to believe that just because we're blind we don't 
> know
> what is dangerous for a baby or small child.
> Melissa
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Tammy, Paul and Colyn
> Sent: Friday, June 05, 2009 6:52 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions
>
> Hi,
>
> Oh I hate hospital social workers!  I know they're there to assess 
> mother's
> and families taking their babies home from the hospital and the only way 
> to
> do that is to ask questions.  I don't mind that, but really, some of the
> questions I got asked when I was in there with Remus were ridiculous.
> First, I was still in a lot of pain so I was stumbling around still on 
> pain
> meds trying to get nursing established, and not really feeling like
> visitors.  Well this guy didn't even knock, just came in, and stood there.
> I asked who was there thinking it might be a nurse or Paul or somebody.
> Anyway, he introduced himself and I asked if he could come back later when
> my husband was back because I didn't feel comfortable being interviewed 
> when
>
> I felt so bad.  He said no, that this was the only time he had.  So I said
> I'd answering his questions, and of course the first one was do I had
> sighted help when I got home.  I lied and said I had sighted help even
> though I had help but the person, my best friend, was going to be around.
> Then he wanted to know what I anticipated my friends and neighbours doing
> for me, and I thought it was one of the oddest questions I'd ever heard 
> and
> told him so.  I asked him what he anticipates his neighbours doing for him
> in the next 2 months, and he got the point.  I asked him a bunch of
> questions including what happens if he doesn't like my answers.  He told 
> me
> that he files a report with child services and they follow up, but that 
> the
> hospital wouldn't be allowed to let the baby go home with me if cps was
> called.  So everything went well, but it's amazing how straight these 
> people
>
> can be.  He asked me if I had everything ready for the baby to come home,
> and I was getting a little fed up with his questions so I acted surprised
> and I said OH you mean I have to take the baby home?  He really did think 
> I
> was serious, and after 25 minutes of talking to me you think he'd loosen 
> up
> a little bit.  lol  Anyway, social workers alwyas make me nervous, but 
> they
> really do look out for the best interests of the child, well most of them
> do.
>
> Tammy
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Karla Hudson" <HudsonKC at msu.edu>
> To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, June 05, 2009 6:17 PM
> Subject: [Bulk] [blparent] "General public" and their impressions
>
>
>> Hi group,
>>
>> I have been a silent observer watching the discussion about the "blind
>> parent meeting" and topics to be covered.
>>
>> The discussion that Tammy had with her mail man hit a note with me.  I
>> sometimes get from people responses like "I bet your daughter is a great
>> help to you."  My husband and I have a solid answer "where it is age
>> appropriate."  If you allow people to go there with the twisted way the
>> "general public" thinks they will have the impression that your children
>> are
>> doing the laundry, cooking the meals and reading your mail.  I really
>> think
>> that many sighted people are that clueless.  I do not want to discount 
>> the
>> stuff my children do accomplish but care giving of their parents is just
>> absurd by sighted adults.  I mean really haven't these people had 
>> children
>> and learned the capacity of a four year-old! Okay, so that is my "soap
>> box"
>> about that one.
>>
>> As far as stats and real numbers.  The organizations of the blind should
>> probably give some real substantiated data.  However, there is no
>> substitute
>> for real life stories.
>>
>> We did have an interesting situation with a hospital Social worker and
>> nurse
>> who had 27 years experience with the hospital, when we gave birth to our
>> first child.  Even though my doctor had done some prep work with writing 
>> a
>> letter in our file indicating our independent abilities.  I later found
>> out
>> that the hospital Social worker had not even taken the time to read our
>> file
>> before meeting with us.  She was later reprimanded by the CEO of the
>> hospital.  We were also offered WIC.  I have no problem with WIC but she
>> failed to again read that both my husband and I were employed and made 
>> too
>> much to qualify.  I am sure the Social Worker was made even more
>> embarrassed
>> to find out that her husband and mine were both working together on a
>> major
>> project at their employer.  What a small world for this lady who made so
>> many mistakes.
>>
>> I think by sharing our stories we let other couples no what they are up
>> against and help them hope for the best but prepare for the worst when it
>> comes to the "general public" and hospital experiences when having their
>> children.  I would be interested to know if more blind individuals are
>> bothered by CPS when they are blind couples or single blind parents.  I
>> would bet these couples and single parents are targeted more often.  The
>> hospital seemed pretty insistent that I have sighted help when I came
>> home.
>> I lied and told them we did but in fact one of their hospital employees, 
>> a
>> good friend of mine, who happened to be blind as well was coming to help.
>> Joke was on them!
>>
>> So that is my story in a nut shell.  There are more details about the
>> first
>> go around with the birth in the hospital.  I won't drag on with all the
>> details.  The second time around things went much better with our son.
>>
>> Our daughter is now seven and just finished first grade.  Who says to
>> blind
>> people can't raise a kid!  By the way I have two friends both in their
>> late
>> 80's who raised ten kids.  Back in the day nobody question their 
>> abilities
>> or sent CPS.  I guess everyone new just to stay out of others business
>> that
>> families took care of their own.
>>
>> Karla Hudson
>>
>>
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