[blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions

[Veronica Smith]

Like the other night, my sighted husband  and I were at Red Lobster and the
waitress asked if "she" wanted a Braille menu.  So my husband told her she
would have to ask me.  She did and then brought me one that was in pieces.
The binding was missing.  V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jennifer Massey
Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 9:14 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions

that is true, My soon to be husband is blind and I have 2 small children. 
We were on our way to Kings Dominion last year with my 3 year old son.  We 
stopped in Quantico to get something to eat we were getting hungry and the 
man who waited on us was very rude.  He would ask me all of the questions 
and I finally had enough of it.  First, I politly asked him if you have a 
question for my partner please ask him directly.  Of course the next time he

came over to ask something he ignored Dustin and I asked to speak to the 
manager.  When the manager came out Dust told him what the man had done and 
we ended up with a free dinner that night.

Jennifer and Dustin
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Leanne Merren" <leemer02 at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 9:12 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions


> But that is why we can't sit back and let them ignore us.  My mom has 
> gotten in the habbit of telling people to talk to me, not her.  She tells 
> them that I'm the parent.  My mother-in-law does too.  We deserve the same

> respect and recognition as parents.  We just have to earn it, instead of 
> it coming naturally like it does for so many other parents.  Blind parents

> aren't the only parents in this position, I'm sure.
> Leanne
> "Faith is being sure of what we hope for
> and certain of what we do not see."
> Hebrews 11:1
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Eileen Levin" <eileenlevin at comcast.net>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 4:14 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions
>
>
>> Like JoElizabeth  my sighted husband was there and we received no visit 
>> from
>> a social worker at all. I hadn't taken any classes, asked to leave the 
>> day
>> after my son was born, and the staff all seemed to be directing their
>> lessons to my extremely anxious sighted husband. The staff's tendancy to
>> ignore me while teaching my husband never meant anything to me since I
>> already knew how to change a diaper and bathe a baby from helping my 
>> mother
>> with my two younger sisters. I think there was a note posted on my door 
>> from
>> the staff about my blindness which my husband questioned as soon as he 
>> saw
>> it.
>>
>> So, is there discrimination? From all this anecdotal evidence it appears 
>> the
>> answer is YES YES and YES.
>> Eileen
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 12:56 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions
>>
>> I was lucky enough not to get much interference from social workers when
>> Sarah was born.  I don't know if it was because her sighted father was 
>> there
>>
>> most of the time or what.  There was a doctor who asked if I would have 
>> help
>>
>> at home.  I said yes, and he didn't ask any more questions.  (Personally,

>> I
>> think whether there will be help is a valid question for any new mom,
>> sighted or blind, especially now that I've been through the newborn phase
>> myself.)  Nobody asked me if I had everything ready for the baby, which I
>> did, and the nurses spent a lot of time trying to help me get nursing
>> established, with no comment about my blindness.  The only social worker 
>> I
>> saw asked me about financial issues, but Gerald and I made too much to
>> qualify for the hospital's sliding scale.  It was nice to have such a
>> positive experience at the hospital.  I think part of the reason 
>> everything
>> went so well is that I took not only the childbirth classes, but also the
>> baby care and breastfeeding courses, and I had a tour of the maternity 
>> ward
>> and asked a lot of questions, so by the time I delivered my baby, I was 
>> kind
>>
>> of a familiar face to many of the staff, and they knew I was taking my 
>> new
>> role as a mother seriously.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed
>> until it is faced."--James Baldwin
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Melissa Ann Riccobono" <melissa at riccobono.us>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 6:47 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their impressions
>>
>>
>>> It's interesting about hospital social workers.  I actually was lucky
>>> enough
>>> to have a good experience with the social worker who visited me after
>>> Austin
>>> was born.  She seemed to stick to standard questions.  She did ask if I
>>> had
>>> everything ready for the baby; actually she didn't quite put it that 
>>> way.
>>> She asked if we had a crib or a bassinette, a car seat, etc.  I could 
>>> hear
>>> that she was taking notes and checking things off a list.  The hospital
>>> where Austin was born often deals with high risk and very poor moms and
>>> dads, so I felt a lot of the questions were based on the fact that so 
>>> many
>>> people who pass through really do need a lot more help and services.  I
>>> was
>>> also offered WIC.  I don't know if this was standard or not, but I just
>>> said
>>> I knew we made too much to qualify and I was left alone.  The person who
>>> made me the most nervous was a doctor--not the one who delivered
>>> Austin--who
>>> kept asking if I had help at home, and if I thought I could manage 
>>> because
>>> of my "handicap."  Luckily, even though I was still in labor and not in
>>> the
>>> best mood, I managed to answer him calmly and firmly and nothing else 
>>> was
>>> said.  Then there was this extremely annoying nurse who was completely
>>> thrilled because I could find the toilet paper in the bathroom and I
>>> "navigated so well!"  She questioned my ability to nurse because it's "a
>>> very visual thing to know when the baby's mouth is open so you can stick
>>> the
>>> nipple in.  Are you really committed to nursing?"  Thank goodness I knew
>>> my
>>> sister, who is also blind, nursed three babies successfully, and that I
>>> was
>>> committed to nursing unless there really was a reason I couldn't--such 
>>> as
>>> my
>>> body not making enough milk, or Austin really having difficulties of 
>>> some
>>> other kind.  So, I was firm on that point as well.  It is amazing though
>>> simply how uneducated the public is!  I love the people who ask me if I
>>> had
>>> someone come in to "adapt" my house for the baby.  Yes, there are child
>>> proofing companies and they are great if you want to use them, but I 
>>> think
>>> it's crazy for people to believe that just because we're blind we don't
>>> know
>>> what is dangerous for a baby or small child.
>>> Melissa
>>>
>>
>>
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