[blparent] [Bulk] Re: [Bulk] "General public" and theirimpressions

Wed Jun 10 15:07:14 UTC 2009

I think that's a very good suggestion.  I saw a quote once that said 
something about no one knowing how to raise children except the ones who 
don't have them.
I used to have empathy and understand why parents I know didn't always do 
what they should to help their children learn, I know first-hand now what I 
used to empathize with.
Barbara

If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Tammy, Paul and Colyn" <tcl189 at rogers.com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 09, 2009 11:45 AM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] Re: [Bulk] "General public" and 
theirimpressions

> Hi,
>
> Agreed on both points.  I also think that no social worker should be 
> allowed to work in a situation where children and families are concerned 
> unless they've had at least one child themselves.  Sometimes these kids 
> come in to our lives having had no experience with children and while what 
> they're read may work in theory it may not always work in a real life 
> situation.  I think my big problem with social workers is that they often 
> forget their dealing with real people and real feelings and emotions.  You 
> can't deal with a woman with ppd the same way as you might deal with a 
> mother who's husband is abusing her children and she's standing by letting 
> it happen.
>
> Tammy
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "trishs" <slosser at metrocast.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, June 09, 2009 7:41 AM
> Subject: [Bulk] Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their 
> impressions
>
>
>> Unless and until a social worker actually takes your baby from you, this 
>> is ignorants, not discrimination.
>> I believe that any one dealing with the public should avail themselves of 
>> a Handicapped Awareness 101 course.
>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>From: "Eileen Levin" <eileenlevin at comcast.net
>>>To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>Date sent: Sat, 6 Jun 2009 16:14:44 -0400
>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk]  "General public" and their
>> impressions
>>
>>>Like JoElizabeth  my sighted husband was there and we received no
>> visit from
>>>a social worker at all.  I hadn't taken any classes, asked to
>> leave the day
>>>after my son was born, and the staff all seemed to be directing
>> their
>>>lessons to my extremely anxious sighted husband.  The staff's
>> tendancy to
>>>ignore me while teaching my husband never meant anything to me
>> since I
>>>already knew how to change a diaper and bathe a baby from helping
>> my mother
>>>with my two younger sisters.  I think there was a note posted on
>> my door from
>>>the staff about my blindness which my husband questioned as soon
>> as he saw
>>>it.
>>
>>>So, is there discrimination? From all this anecdotal evidence it
>> appears the
>>>answer is YES YES and YES.
>>>Eileen
>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>>Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>>>Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 12:56 PM
>>>To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their
>> impressions
>>
>>>I was lucky enough not to get much interference from social
>> workers when
>>>Sarah was born.  I don't know if it was because her sighted
>> father was there
>>
>>>most of the time or what.  There was a doctor who asked if I
>> would have help
>>
>>>at home.  I said yes, and he didn't ask any more questions.
>> (Personally, I
>>>think whether there will be help is a valid question for any new
>> mom,
>>>sighted or blind, especially now that I've been through the
>> newborn phase
>>>myself.)  Nobody asked me if I had everything ready for the baby,
>> which I
>>>did, and the nurses spent a lot of time trying to help me get
>> nursing
>>>established, with no comment about my blindness.  The only social
>> worker I
>>>saw asked me about financial issues, but Gerald and I made too
>> much to
>>>qualify for the hospital's sliding scale.  It was nice to have
>> such a
>>>positive experience at the hospital.  I think part of the reason
>> everything
>>>went so well is that I took not only the childbirth classes, but
>> also the
>>>baby care and breastfeeding courses, and I had a tour of the
>> maternity ward
>>>and asked a lot of questions, so by the time I delivered my baby,
>> I was kind
>>
>>>of a familiar face to many of the staff, and they knew I was
>> taking my new
>>>role as a mother seriously.
>>
>>>Jo Elizabeth
>>
>>>"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be
>> changed
>>>until it is faced."--James Baldwin
>>>----- Original Message -----
>>>From: "Melissa Ann Riccobono" <melissa at riccobono.us
>>>To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>Sent: Saturday, June 06, 2009 6:47 AM
>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] "General public" and their
>> impressions
>>
>>
>>>> It's interesting about hospital social workers.  I actually was
>> lucky
>>>> enough
>>>> to have a good experience with the social worker who visited me
>> after
>>>> Austin
>>>> was born.  She seemed to stick to standard questions.  She did
>> ask if I
>>>> had
>>>> everything ready for the baby; actually she didn't quite put it
>> that way.
>>>> She asked if we had a crib or a bassinette, a car seat, etc.  I
>> could hear
>>>> that she was taking notes and checking things off a list.  The
>> hospital
>>>> where Austin was born often deals with high risk and very poor
>> moms and
>>>> dads, so I felt a lot of the questions were based on the fact
>> that so many
>>>> people who pass through really do need a lot more help and
>> services.  I
>>>> was
>>>> also offered WIC.  I don't know if this was standard or not, but
>> I just
>>>> said
>>>> I knew we made too much to qualify and I was left alone.  The
>> person who
>>>> made me the most nervous was a doctor--not the one who delivered
>>>> Austin--who
>>>> kept asking if I had help at home, and if I thought I could
>> manage because
>>>> of my "handicap."  Luckily, even though I was still in labor and
>> not in
>>>> the
>>>> best mood, I managed to answer him calmly and firmly and nothing
>> else was
>>>> said.  Then there was this extremely annoying nurse who was
>> completely
>>>> thrilled because I could find the toilet paper in the bathroom
>> and I
>>>> "navigated so well!"  She questioned my ability to nurse because
>> it's "a
>>>> very visual thing to know when the baby's mouth is open so you
>> can stick
>>>> the
>>>> nipple in.  Are you really committed to nursing?"  Thank
>> goodness I knew
>>>> my
>>>> sister, who is also blind, nursed three babies successfully, and
>> that I
>>>> was
>>>> committed to nursing unless there really was a reason I
>> couldn't--such as
>>>> my
>>>> body not making enough milk, or Austin really having
>> difficulties of some
>>>> other kind.  So, I was firm on that point as well.  It is
>> amazing though
>>>> simply how uneducated the public is!  I love the people who ask
>> me if I
>>>> had
>>>> someone come in to "adapt" my house for the baby.  Yes, there
>> are child
>>>> proofing companies and they are great if you want to use them,
>> but I think
>>>> it's crazy for people to believe that just because we're blind
>> we don't
>>>> know
>>>> what is dangerous for a baby or small child.
>>>> Melissa
>>
>>
>>
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