[blparent] falling asleep?

Tue Feb 2 23:17:51 UTC 2010

I get that. My only point is that if you are worried about falling asleep, 
there are precautions you can take to make the environment/situation safer 
so that when it happens, it isn't as dangerous for your baby. It makes me 
mad when nurses and other "professionals" try to terrify us into thinking we 
can't take care of our children. We have enough doubts about that as it is - 
both because of our blindness and our lack of experience as new parents. I'm 
not saying the nurse's concern isn't valid, but she could have offered 
solutions, instead of just saying that it should never happen. I mean, get 
real. Anyone who has a newborn knows that you are like the walking dead. I 
think we'd wonder about someone who didn't fall asleep at the drop of a hat 
:). I know the issue is a long term one in this case, but I'm sure it's 
compounded by new motherhood and the body trying to make breastmilk. I was 
hoping to put some of her fears at ease by giving her some things she could 
try for when it does happen.

Dena

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "sharon howerton" <shrnhow at att.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, February 02, 2010 3:51 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] falling asleep?

> Dena, I think your points are well taken and great; however, it sounds to 
> me, and I don't know this for sure, like Leslie has had a problem with 
> this sort of thing long before she had Michael. I don't know if it's a 
> blind thing, but it's happened to me, kids or no, and I know it's 
> definitely happened with my significant other who was sighted until about 
> 14 years ago. He can knock off at the drop of a hat and attributes it to 
> getting up early (4 AM routinely) and having worked early mornings for 
> many years requiring that he get up at 2:30 AM, but he hasn't done that in 
> many years. I have been better with this in recent years but will admit 
> that I have had this sort of problem even at work; it was just something I 
> could not control and needless to say, it was embarrassing.
> Sharon
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Dena Wainwright" <dena at envogueaccess.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, February 02, 2010 2:42 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] falling asleep?
>
>
>> OK...First, falling asleep while holding your baby isn't necessarily a 
>> bad thing if you prepare for that possibility. Yes, you absolutely must 
>> be more careful initially, both because he is extra tiny, and because he 
>> lacks head control. Yes, you could smother him - if you fell asleep with 
>> blankets over you both, tons of fluffy pillows all around you, with his 
>> face smushed into your body or clothing so he couldn't breathe, etc., but 
>> falling asleep with your baby in your arms does not automatically equate 
>> to a suffocation hazard.
>>
>> For the first several months of Elise's life, the only way she would 
>> sleep is literally on my body. Maybe there are those who would disagree 
>> with this strategy, but if you've never had a child who absolutely would 
>> not sleep without physical contact (I mean for more than 10 minutes at a 
>> time...ever) then I'm not really interested in hearing how horrible you 
>> think it is. I thought (before I had this kind of baby) that cosleeping 
>> was stupid. I couldn't understand why anyone in their right mind would 
>> want to do it, especially when their child had a perfectly good crib or 
>> bassinette... Then I found myself in the situation where I probably 
>> wouldn't have gotten more than 2 hours of sleep a day if I wasn't holding 
>> my baby, and suddenly it didn't seem so dumb.
>>
>> Here are a couple of things you can do.
>>
>> If you do want to sleep with him:
>> First, you can lay in the middle of your bed (with every blanket but the 
>> fitted sheet taken off of it). You can place a very firm pillow under 
>> your head (no other pillows of any kind should be on the bed). You can 
>> wear warm (but non-bulky) clothing to keep yourself from getting cold. If 
>> you really want to, you can put a bed rail on the bed, but I found that 
>> given that I was a good couple of feet from the edges, I didn't really 
>> need to. However, if you don't have the luxury of your own bed (we have a 
>> guest room, which made shift-taking easier in the beginning), you might 
>> want a rail on your side. Then you can place your baby on your stomach. 
>> He will be laying tummy to tummy with you, with his head between your 
>> breasts. This is very soothing for mom and baby, and can increase milk 
>> production if done skin to skin. You won't need to put a lot of clothing 
>> on him if you're doing this, as your combined body heat will keep him 
>> very warm, and it is actually better to keep babies on the cooler side as 
>> opposed to the warmer side.
>>
>> Another thing you can do is wear him in a pouch on your front. This would 
>> allow you to sit up with him, but still be able to hold him securely. I 
>> will preface the pouch suggestion by saying that you should *never* 
>> *never* put a newborn baby with no head control into a sling of any kind 
>> in the cradle position. The cradle position is where he is laying on his 
>> back across the front of your body (like he would be if you had one of 
>> your arms behind his head, and one under his bum and knees. This is an 
>> extremely dangerous position for such a young baby, because their chin 
>> can be pushed forward into their chest - cutting off their air supply. 
>> Because they are not able to move their head to accommodate this 
>> decreased air supply, they can literally suffocate to death in your arms. 
>> If you think I'm being overly-dramatic, my friend saw a 2 week old baby 
>> die in front of her because of this exact thing. If you want to use a 
>> pouch, the safest way to wear your baby is to put him in so that his body 
>> is parallel to yours. His stomach will be against your chest, his head 
>> will be under your chin, and his legs will be folded froggy-style (with 
>> his heels resting against his bum and his knees bowed outward). Even very 
>> tiny babies have the ability to minimally shift their head from side to 
>> side, even if they can't lift it up on their own. This position makes it 
>> less likely that his chin will be pushed down into his chest, and it will 
>> also make it easier for you to hear him breathing, because his face will 
>> be about 8 inches away from your own. Again, he won't need more than a 
>> onesie if he's in a pouch, as they are very warm. I got mine from
>> www.kangarookorner.com
>> Their staff is very helpful at describing their products, and assisting 
>> you with placing your order. They actually apologized to me that their 
>> site wasn't easier for me to use.
>>
>> Hope some of this helps.
>>
>> Dena
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Leslie Hamric" <lhamric930 at comcast.net>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, February 02, 2010 8:54 AM
>> Subject: [blparent] falling asleep?
>>
>>
>>> Hi All.  I was wondering if you could give me any ideas, as I'm running 
>>> into
>>> a problem that could be potentially serious.  Its happened a few times 
>>> where
>>> I've fallen asleep with my baby in my arms.  The first time it happened, 
>>> one
>>> of the nurses saw it and she informed me that I could potentially 
>>> suffocate
>>> my baby by doing this. The problem is that I don't always know I'm 
>>> getting
>>> sleepy unless someone tells me I am or until I start nodding off.  I had 
>>> a
>>> sleep study done in 2004 and the specialist said I have a non 24 hour 
>>> sleep
>>> cycle and the only way to remedy that is to get a full 8 hours of sleep 
>>> at
>>> the same time every night.  Well, we both know that's virtually 
>>> impossible
>>> now that I'm a new mom.  Have you ever had this problem and if so, what
>>> kinds of things did you do to stay awake while holding your baby?  One 
>>> thing
>>> I've tried was having the radio on and that doesn't seem to help. 
>>> Andy's
>>> really worried about me too. He doesn't want me to fall asleep and
>>> accidentally smother the baby.  I don't want that either.  I'm just at a
>>> loss of how to solve this issue.  I've heard other blind people having 
>>> the
>>> same problem since they don't get the light stimulation.
>>>
>>> Leslie
>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>
>>
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>
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