[blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

[Deborah Kent Stein]

Dear Miranda and Listers,

This situation is a living example of why we need the booklet that Barbara 
Pierce and I are working on - and why we need your help!  The booklet 
explains, with many lively quotes from blind parents, how we handle the 
challenges of raising our children.  We NEED photographs that will 
illustrate the points we are making in the text.  If you can help, PLEASE 
contact me off list as soon as possible!  This project is important for all 
of us and for a generation of blind parents yet to come.

Debbie
dkent5817 at att.net
773-631-1093

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Miranda Borka" <knownoflove at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at NFBnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 12:36 PM
Subject: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for 
educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person


> Hi,
> I recently found out that my insurance covers a private doctor in my city, 
> and I had my first appointment with him yesterday. Part of this 
> appointment involved my physical for our fostercare-adoption process.
> After seeing the form, the doctor said, "I'm not wanting to sound rude, 
> but how do you plan to parent a child? Will the children be Blind since 
> you are?" I told him that the children would not be Blind, and that it is 
> difficult to find a child in the U.S fostercare system who is Blind 
> without that child having other multiple special needs. He then asked, "Is 
> your husband sighted?" I again answered "No." He asked, "I'm sure you can 
> hear a pin drop, but how would that make you able to parent?" I reassured 
> him that I knew of many successful parents who just happened to be Blind, 
> and that it was not impossible. I further explained that although as a 
> parent who happens to be Blind I may need to make some adaptions, it was 
> not impossible.
> Although very shocked and amazed, he seemed satisfied with my response, 
> and clearly admitted to never knowing a Blind person who could or wanted 
> to be a parent. In the end, he put on my foster-adopt physical form, "She 
> is Blind, but very capable and ambitious." Although I do wish he wouldn't 
> have made my Blindness a point on the form (as it had already been noted", 
> I figured it best to leave well enough alone.
>
> I have had friends suggest I leave this doctor and go to a more respectful 
> doctor. However, I disagree. First, I am aware that it is a fact that most 
> of the sighted general public are uneducated about Blindness and aspects 
> of living as a person who is Blind like parenting. I can't run away from 
> these situations, as it would not only deepen the stereotype that Blind 
> people are not independent, but it would not set a good example of how to 
> handle adverse situations to anyone watching (including our children when 
> they enter our home).
> Furthermore, as my doctor said,  he was uneducated about Blindness and the 
> ability for a person who is Blind to parent. I don't believe that walking 
> away from this doctor would aid in educating him, and I honestly felt 
> sorry for him and his lack of education. I'll admit to feeling initially 
> defensive at his insessent questioning of my capability to parent, but I 
> suddenly wanted to educate him.
>
> Whether my doctor realizes it or not, he has challenged me to go in to my 
> next appointment (or contact his office) very equipped with information, 
> materials and/or knowledge to educate and empower him to understand and 
> work with myself and any other Blind person he comes in contact with who 
> is or wishes to be a parent.
>
> I write all of this to ask for your feedback. Can anyone of you share how 
> you've dealt with situations like this? Can you share any literature, 
> materials or anything I can provide my doctor so he can see for himself 
> that what I am saying is indeed true? I want him to be able to be 
> informed, and not to just take my word for it.
> Any feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated.
> Thanks in advance, and have a great week!
>
> In Christ, Miranda
>
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