[blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions foreducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

Wed Mar 31 02:36:32 UTC 2010

I had a nurse one time ask me how I would change my daughter's diapers and I
asked her, if you lost your sight and you were alone with your new born
child, what would you do.  She stayed quiet for a while and then she said, I
would change her and care for her the best way I can.  I then asked her
would you want to depend on others to do it for you.  She said no and that
was the last time that office ever asked me if I could or could not do
something.  

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Elizabeth Cooks
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 2:53 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions
foreducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

It's a little grating on the nerves when someone asks you the same questions

over and over and over and over again.  Unfortunately, all this book is 
going to do is make people go, "Oh, I couldn't possibly do that."  I got 
that one just last week.  I also get things like, "Have you ever had any 
sight?" like that's supposed to make any difference at all.  The truth is, 
nobody knows what they will do until they are in a certain situation.  I 
think that a myth that needs to be dispelled amont social workers and the 
public in general is that persons with disabilities are not capable of 
parenting.  As a matter of fact, most times, parents with disabilities do a 
better jot than those without disabilities.  If this book is going to be 
done right, make it a bok that runs across disability groups, gear it toward

those going into social work, and make it required reading.  Better yet, 
make it a special class that must be taken before graduation so that they 
don't go into the workplace uninformed.  let's take the bells off, people!!
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tammy, Paul and Colyn" <tcl189 at rogers.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:26 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions 
foreducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

> Hi,
>
> I have been with my family doctor now for a little over 2 years, and he 
> was very scepticle of my abilities in the beginning as were his staff. 
> It's a pain, but I had to basically put up with a lot of stupid questions 
> and how do you do this or that kind of questions especially parenting 
> things like changing diapers etc.  He even had issues with me and my 
> husband who is also totally blind when we wanted to have another baby. 
> Maybe it was when I brought the new baby in for a checkup that changed his

> mind about us, but something in the last year or a little over shifted and

> he actually talks to me like a normal parent now, and I find that I like 
> and trust him now too.
> So just hang in there, and put up with the dumb questions.  The more he 
> sees of you and the more you answer his questions to the best of your 
> ability, the more comfortable he'll become with you and when you do get to

> adopt a child your relationship with him will be strong and stable and he 
> won't question you anymore.  He'll know you're a good parent.
>
> hth
>
> Tammy
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Miranda Borka" <knownoflove at gmail.com>
> To: <blparent at NFBnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:36 PM
> Subject: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for 
> educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person
>
>
>> Hi,
>> I recently found out that my insurance covers a private doctor in my 
>> city, and I had my first appointment with him yesterday. Part of this 
>> appointment involved my physical for our fostercare-adoption process.
>> After seeing the form, the doctor said, "I'm not wanting to sound rude, 
>> but how do you plan to parent a child? Will the children be Blind since 
>> you are?" I told him that the children would not be Blind, and that it is

>> difficult to find a child in the U.S fostercare system who is Blind 
>> without that child having other multiple special needs. He then asked, 
>> "Is your husband sighted?" I again answered "No." He asked, "I'm sure you

>> can hear a pin drop, but how would that make you able to parent?" I 
>> reassured him that I knew of many successful parents who just happened to

>> be Blind, and that it was not impossible. I further explained that 
>> although as a parent who happens to be Blind I may need to make some 
>> adaptions, it was not impossible.
>> Although very shocked and amazed, he seemed satisfied with my response, 
>> and clearly admitted to never knowing a Blind person who could or wanted 
>> to be a parent. In the end, he put on my foster-adopt physical form, "She

>> is Blind, but very capable and ambitious." Although I do wish he wouldn't

>> have made my Blindness a point on the form (as it had already been 
>> noted", I figured it best to leave well enough alone.
>>
>> I have had friends suggest I leave this doctor and go to a more 
>> respectful doctor. However, I disagree. First, I am aware that it is a 
>> fact that most of the sighted general public are uneducated about 
>> Blindness and aspects of living as a person who is Blind like parenting. 
>> I can't run away from these situations, as it would not only deepen the 
>> stereotype that Blind people are not independent, but it would not set a 
>> good example of how to handle adverse situations to anyone watching 
>> (including our children when they enter our home).
>> Furthermore, as my doctor said,  he was uneducated about Blindness and 
>> the ability for a person who is Blind to parent. I don't believe that 
>> walking away from this doctor would aid in educating him, and I honestly 
>> felt sorry for him and his lack of education. I'll admit to feeling 
>> initially defensive at his insessent questioning of my capability to 
>> parent, but I suddenly wanted to educate him.
>>
>> Whether my doctor realizes it or not, he has challenged me to go in to my

>> next appointment (or contact his office) very equipped with information, 
>> materials and/or knowledge to educate and empower him to understand and 
>> work with myself and any other Blind person he comes in contact with who 
>> is or wishes to be a parent.
>>
>> I write all of this to ask for your feedback. Can anyone of you share how

>> you've dealt with situations like this? Can you share any literature, 
>> materials or anything I can provide my doctor so he can see for himself 
>> that what I am saying is indeed true? I want him to be able to be 
>> informed, and not to just take my word for it.
>> Any feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated.
>> Thanks in advance, and have a great week!
>>
>> In Christ, Miranda
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>
>
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