[blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

Wed Mar 31 07:55:41 UTC 2010

Hi Leanne,
I found the booklet on Bookshare and read it yesterday. There were a lot of great resources and pieces of advice in there.
Thanks so much, and feel free to stay in touch!

In Christ, Miranda

-----Original Message-----
From: Leanne Merren <leemer02 at gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 4:20 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for	educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

Hi Miranda,
I think you have a great attitude about it.
I was part of a document that was put together a while back by a woman on 
another blindparenting list.  Not sure if she's on this list or not.  But it 
went through lots of things like how to keep track of children in public, 
how to give medications, etc.  I'm not sure if I still have it around, but 
I'm pretty sure the MCB was given a copy, so you could contact them and see 
if they still have it.
I've had run ins with a few doctors, and I just stood my ground and answered 
any questions they had, as any parent would answer questions from their 
doctor.  I try not to get defensive, unless I think they're way out of line, 
like when I wasn't allowed to keep my baby in my room by myself when my 
first one was born, or when a new doctor kept me waiting in the exam room 
for a half hour while she talked to her superior about who would care for 
the baby, even though it was my third child.  No parent would just sit in 
the room and let it go, and neither would I.  I got lots of apologies from 
the staff at the hospital where my first baby was born, and I'm sure they 
were hoping I wouldn't sue them, as they made a lot of mistakes with his 
birth.  The new pediatrician that we started seeing when my third child was 
born knows now that she can ask questions if she needs to, but mostly she 
praises everything I do, maybe a little too much, but at least I know she 
believes my children are in good hands.  So you're right, it's about 
educating them the best way you can, and if you act confident, that will 
help your case a lot.  After all, why wouldn't you be confident? :-)
Let me know if you're able to get your hands on that booklet.  I'll look 
around here and see if I can find it.
Leanne
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Miranda Borka" <knownoflove at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at NFBnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:36 PM
Subject: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for 
educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

> Hi,
> I recently found out that my insurance covers a private doctor in my city, 
> and I had my first appointment with him yesterday. Part of this 
> appointment involved my physical for our fostercare-adoption process.
> After seeing the form, the doctor said, "I'm not wanting to sound rude, 
> but how do you plan to parent a child? Will the children be Blind since 
> you are?" I told him that the children would not be Blind, and that it is 
> difficult to find a child in the U.S fostercare system who is Blind 
> without that child having other multiple special needs. He then asked, "Is 
> your husband sighted?" I again answered "No." He asked, "I'm sure you can 
> hear a pin drop, but how would that make you able to parent?" I reassured 
> him that I knew of many successful parents who just happened to be Blind, 
> and that it was not impossible. I further explained that although as a 
> parent who happens to be Blind I may need to make some adaptions, it was 
> not impossible.
> Although very shocked and amazed, he seemed satisfied with my response, 
> and clearly admitted to never knowing a Blind person who could or wanted 
> to be a parent. In the end, he put on my foster-adopt physical form, "She 
> is Blind, but very capable and ambitious." Although I do wish he wouldn't 
> have made my Blindness a point on the form (as it had already been noted", 
> I figured it best to leave well enough alone.
>
> I have had friends suggest I leave this doctor and go to a more respectful 
> doctor. However, I disagree. First, I am aware that it is a fact that most 
> of the sighted general public are uneducated about Blindness and aspects 
> of living as a person who is Blind like parenting. I can't run away from 
> these situations, as it would not only deepen the stereotype that Blind 
> people are not independent, but it would not set a good example of how to 
> handle adverse situations to anyone watching (including our children when 
> they enter our home).
> Furthermore, as my doctor said,  he was uneducated about Blindness and the 
> ability for a person who is Blind to parent. I don't believe that walking 
> away from this doctor would aid in educating him, and I honestly felt 
> sorry for him and his lack of education. I'll admit to feeling initially 
> defensive at his insessent questioning of my capability to parent, but I 
> suddenly wanted to educate him.
>
> Whether my doctor realizes it or not, he has challenged me to go in to my 
> next appointment (or contact his office) very equipped with information, 
> materials and/or knowledge to educate and empower him to understand and 
> work with myself and any other Blind person he comes in contact with who 
> is or wishes to be a parent.
>
> I write all of this to ask for your feedback. Can anyone of you share how 
> you've dealt with situations like this? Can you share any literature, 
> materials or anything I can provide my doctor so he can see for himself 
> that what I am saying is indeed true? I want him to be able to be 
> informed, and not to just take my word for it.
> Any feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated.
> Thanks in advance, and have a great week!
>
> In Christ, Miranda
>
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