[blparent] re anxious

[sharon howerton]

Well said, Shannon. When I was a rehab counselor, the only time I got calls 
about blind moms was when the mom was defensive/rude or had no apparent 
support system/no partner involved, etc. But even in those cases, and there 
were few over the 25 years I did this work, I never knew the child to be 
taken from the mom.
Sharon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Shannan Zinck" <shannanzinck at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, May 29, 2010 8:46 PM
Subject: [blparent] re anxious


> It can seem a little intimidating, sorry a lot when contemplating the 
> notion
> of having children when you are blind. My husband and I have been married
> for almost 16 years and always wanted children. We were nervous of this
> issue as well and had heard countless stories of things like this. When we
> found out we couldn't even conceive well that was devastating not to 
> mention
> terrifying. We at the time thought because we could not have kids of our 
> own
> that we would never have any because who in their right mind would allow a
> blind couple to adopt. We thought our situation was hopeless. about 5 
> years
> ago though we got up the nerve to put our name on a list and sure enough 4
> years later we had our chance. Our social worker had some issues with us
> adopting and even approached her supervisor about it. She later admitted 
> to
> me that she was discriminating against us. I confronted her on the issue 
> and
> we were able to work it out. The greatest tool for us was having any info
> for her that would not only help her understand how a blind couple could
> care for a child but, also enough info for her to realize that we knew 
> what
> we were doing and if we didn't we'd be quick to ask questions or for help
> when needed. She was reluctant but once she got to know us she even
> advocated for us. Basically what I'm trying to say is if we were able to
> adopt without much trouble (and we were the first blind couple she ever 
> had
> to work with) then I am sure that if you are patient with people asking
> questions then you should be fine. Not getting defensive is very important
> and finding answers to what we would consider bizzare questions rather 
> than
> scoffing at people's ignorance doesn't hurt either. Myles has been in our
> home since he was 4 days old and child protection has never been called
> once. As a matter of fact the birth mother tried to take him back when sho
> found out we were moving out of province and social services got involved 
> to
> keep him in our home. Most of the stories are not bad it's just that the
> positive ones aren't told much because there is no questions surrounding
> them. It's a matter of knowing how to handle things and therefore these
> stories get told more to help someone know what to do.
>
> -- 
> Shannan Zinck
> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
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