[blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

Mon Nov 15 06:22:56 UTC 2010

As Jo Elizabeth points out, members of the general public can try to get 
involved in ways that are a lot less than helpful.  I think that can happen 
to all parents but I suspect that it is especially likely to happen to us as 
parents who are blind.  We need to be very clear that we're in control - and 
it's hard to feel in control sometimes when a kid is having a tantrum or 
running away or sassing back in front of our in-laws!

Debbie

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Leanne Merren" <leemer02 at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 11:22 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

> Hi Debbie,
> That is a really good question.  I have found that taking away priveleges 
> works best for us.  If we are in a grocery store, I will let the kids walk 
> along next to me as long as they behave, but if they start wandering off 
> or touching things, or just acting out in whatever way, they sit in the 
> cart (if they are little), or they have to hold my hand.  Usually a firm 
> repremand does the trick in that situation though.  For fun events, making 
> them sit still for a bit and not play seems to get the point across.  I've 
> never had to use any other punishment when we were out.
> Leanne
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Deborah Kent Stein" <dkent5817 at att.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 11:49 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking
>
>
>>
>>
>> I think as blind parents we sometimes feel particularly vulnerable when 
>> our kids act out in a public situation, since we're always aware that 
>> we're being observed and that our parenting abilities are being 
>> questioned.  I am wondering what methods others have found helpful when a 
>> child gets out of hand at a picnic, school event, wedding reception, etc. 
>> For instance, if the blind parent got a ride with someone else, then 
>> packing up and leaving may not be an option.
>>
>> Debbie
>>
>> Debbie
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Robert Shelton" <rshelton1 at gmail.com>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 10:09 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking
>>
>>
>>> OK, a good serious question.  I was spanked as a child, and I also used
>>> spanking with my first two boys.  I'm fine -- they're fine.  On the 
>>> other
>>> hand, I realized that spanking rarely, if ever, did anything other than 
>>> make
>>> me feel like I'd made a mistake.  As we raised numbers 3 and 4, two more
>>> boys, we gradually found that other measures were equally effective and
>>> didn't leave us feeling like we'd done the wrong thing.  I'd love to 
>>> tell
>>> you that there's a secret formula for knowing the right way to correct a
>>> child in every situation, but that's simply not true, or if it is, I 
>>> don't
>>> know the formula.  I would suggest a couple of things to keep in mind.
>>> 1.  Think.  Use your thinking brain to figure out how to address the
>>> situation.  This might mean that you'll need to stop what you're doing 
>>> and
>>> give a few seconds of thought to figure out the appropriate response.
>>> Think, don't just react.
>>> 2.  When it's a social situation, and your kid is being a pest to you, 
>>> or
>>> someone in your home, consider restraint.  Not restraining yourself,
>>> although that is something to consider, but restraining your kid.  Just 
>>> a
>>> gentle grasp of a wrist to keep them under control.  Establishing 
>>> control is
>>> extremely important.  Note, kids really dislike being controlled. 
>>> That's
>>> natural -- live with it.
>>> 3.  Try to slow down.  You think better when you can give yourself a 
>>> time
>>> out in order to figure out what to do.  Get things in a safe 
>>> configuration,
>>> and then consider your options.  Sometimes taking those few minutes, as
>>> opposed to a knee-jerk reaction, can also encourage your child to 
>>> consider
>>> the consequences of his/her actions.
>>>
>>> OK, I've posted about a month's worth for me.  Everyone have a great 
>>> week.
>>>
>>> Over and out.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: jill [mailto:jillbilly4 at comcast.net]
>>> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 3:32 PM
>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking
>>>
>>> I am not offended at all.  I use spanking and  time out with my 5 year 
>>> old
>>> and with my 13 year old taking away privileges.  I was spanked as a 
>>> child,
>>> and lived to be a respectable adult.  I don't think that one of form of
>>> punishment works for all children or all situations.  I think that 
>>> people
>>> can over exaggerate the affects either way "to spank or not to spank"
>>>
>>> Jill
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>>> On
>>> Behalf Of Peggy Shald
>>> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 3:07 PM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking
>>>
>>> I have spanked my kids occasionally.  When they're about to touch 
>>> something
>>> hot I slap their hands and say no.  When they run off and won't come 
>>> back
>>> when I call.  I guess, yeah it's always been for safety reasons.  I was
>>> spanked as a cchild and am not sccared of my mom, don't hate her, have a 
>>> lot
>>>
>>> of respect for her as a matter of fact.  Do I think that a child should 
>>> be
>>> spanked for everything, no!  Do I think there are times when they should
>>> yes!!  Now that I've probably offended everyone on the list, I'm done
>>> writing for now.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message----- 
>>> From: Elizabeth Cooks
>>> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 1:52 PM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking
>>>
>>> Only in safety situations.
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 8:17 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking
>>>
>>>
>>>>I have 1 questions, whats up with all the dot dot dots when they
>>>> aren't even proper in the type of sentences you are writing. the ...
>>>> is for when a sentence is continued not on the same line or when there
>>>> isn't enough room to fit all chars or words in the orginal location of
>>>> the beginning of the writing. hmmmmm, it must be this new internet
>>>> writing.
>>>>
>>>> On 11/14/10, Rhonda Kubehl <rhondakubehl at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> This was a debate going on on facebook, and i am wonderng what 
>>>>> everyone
>>>>> else things.
>>>>> We don't believe in soanking in our house, I don't believe it solvs
>>>>> anything, it in my oppinion teaches a child if i don't like what a
>>>>> person is doing... i hit them.
>>>>> although, my sster spanked my nece, t didnt make her any different, it
>>>>> worked for her.
>>>>>
>>>>> spanking don't work for me,  guess  beleve in reason...
>>>>> Or I ask Is it necessary?... Corban says No...
>>>>> I'm just intrested in hearing others belieths in spanking.
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> *Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady
>>>>> purpose--
>>>>> a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye*
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -- 
>>>> Gabe Vega A+, Net+, ATACP
>>>> The Tech of all Techs
>>>> http://thebt.net
>>>> (623) 565-9357
>>>>
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>>>
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>>
>>
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>
>
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