[blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

Mon Nov 15 09:00:37 UTC 2010

OK yes we spank. I was spanked too as a child and I feel it was also over
used and not done in the right way. As I've cared for literally hundreds of
children I think it is 1 tool in my box. When I spank however I stay calm.
The child knows they are loved. It would go something like this. Child is
given a consequence for a behavior. The child is then told if this happens
again you will have disobeyed and you will get a spanking. Then the child
does it again. I calmly say what did I say would happen if you did that
again. The child is made to say I would get a spanking. I then calmly pull
them over my lap or over a bed and give them the number of smacks for their
age. Good firm smacks with my hand. I never yell or get angry. I'm not angry
with the child, but providing a consequence for the poor behavior. The only
time I will not have given the child a warning ahead of time is in a case of
danger, and then shock value is in order. In my house hurting another, or
lying are absolutely never tolerated along with directly disobeying me. The
children in my care with parent permission plus family know that if you are
told not to do something and you do it immediately that you are probably
going to get spanked because we obey adults. Like I said it is not the only
tool, it is never  done with anger, and the child is always reminded they
are loved, but blank was not ok. If a child has consistent behavior
expectations and one follows through with your threats you won't need to
spank much. However when I do choose to spank I spank. It is not abuse no
marks, but it does hurt. It must be miserable enough that they do not want
to do it again or you are spanking for no good reason.

That is my theory.

Bran

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you
learn, the more places you'll go." -- Dr. Seuss 
Brandy Wojcik
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-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Robert Shelton
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 10:10 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

OK, a good serious question.  I was spanked as a child, and I also used
spanking with my first two boys.  I'm fine -- they're fine.  On the other
hand, I realized that spanking rarely, if ever, did anything other than make
me feel like I'd made a mistake.  As we raised numbers 3 and 4, two more
boys, we gradually found that other measures were equally effective and
didn't leave us feeling like we'd done the wrong thing.  I'd love to tell
you that there's a secret formula for knowing the right way to correct a
child in every situation, but that's simply not true, or if it is, I don't
know the formula.  I would suggest a couple of things to keep in mind.  
1.  Think.  Use your thinking brain to figure out how to address the
situation.  This might mean that you'll need to stop what you're doing and
give a few seconds of thought to figure out the appropriate response.
Think, don't just react.
2.  When it's a social situation, and your kid is being a pest to you, or
someone in your home, consider restraint.  Not restraining yourself,
although that is something to consider, but restraining your kid.  Just a
gentle grasp of a wrist to keep them under control.  Establishing control is
extremely important.  Note, kids really dislike being controlled.  That's
natural -- live with it.
3.  Try to slow down.  You think better when you can give yourself a time
out in order to figure out what to do.  Get things in a safe configuration,
and then consider your options.  Sometimes taking those few minutes, as
opposed to a knee-jerk reaction, can also encourage your child to consider
the consequences of his/her actions. 

OK, I've posted about a month's worth for me.  Everyone have a great week.

Over and out.

-----Original Message-----
From: jill [mailto:jillbilly4 at comcast.net]
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 3:32 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

I am not offended at all.  I use spanking and  time out with my 5 year old
and with my 13 year old taking away privileges.  I was spanked as a child,
and lived to be a respectable adult.  I don't think that one of form of
punishment works for all children or all situations.  I think that people
can over exaggerate the affects either way "to spank or not to spank"

Jill
-----Original Message-----

From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Peggy Shald
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 3:07 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking

I have spanked my kids occasionally.  When they're about to touch something
hot I slap their hands and say no.  When they run off and won't come back
when I call.  I guess, yeah it's always been for safety reasons.  I was
spanked as a cchild and am not sccared of my mom, don't hate her, have a lot

of respect for her as a matter of fact.  Do I think that a child should be
spanked for everything, no!  Do I think there are times when they should
yes!!  Now that I've probably offended everyone on the list, I'm done
writing for now.

-----Original Message-----
From: Elizabeth Cooks
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 1:52 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking

Only in safety situations.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 8:17 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking

>I have 1 questions, whats up with all the dot dot dots when they
> aren't even proper in the type of sentences you are writing. the ...
> is for when a sentence is continued not on the same line or when there
> isn't enough room to fit all chars or words in the orginal location of
> the beginning of the writing. hmmmmm, it must be this new internet
> writing.
>
> On 11/14/10, Rhonda Kubehl <rhondakubehl at gmail.com> wrote:
>> This was a debate going on on facebook, and i am wonderng what everyone
>> else things.
>> We don't believe in soanking in our house, I don't believe it solvs
>> anything, it in my oppinion teaches a child if i don't like what a
>> person is doing... i hit them.
>> although, my sster spanked my nece, t didnt make her any different, it
>> worked for her.
>>
>> spanking don't work for me,  guess  beleve in reason...
>> Or I ask Is it necessary?... Corban says No...
>> I'm just intrested in hearing others belieths in spanking.
>>
>> --
>> *Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady 
>> purpose--
>> a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye*
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/theblindtech%40gma
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>>
>
>
> -- 
> Gabe Vega A+, Net+, ATACP
> The Tech of all Techs
> http://thebt.net
> (623) 565-9357
>
> _______________________________________________
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