[blparent] discipline

[Shannan Zinck]

Man it'd be nuts if I let Myles run wild in public.
No we don't freak out on him in public but we sure don't let him go crazy
either. For instance he loves to help me do things like push the cart in a
store, he is always harnessed in a place like that anyway but, if he doesn't
go where I want him to then it's sitting in the cart for him, If he grabs
something he's not supposed to have same thing. I have no qualms about being
firm in public either. I have seen some parents do nothing as well and it's
chaos, then again now that I'm a mom myself I have to wonder how long that
child has been getting on her nerves that day. I know I sure have times when
I just want to throw my arms up and scream I quit. It's no excuse for not
disciplining your child but, as moms I'm sure we can sympathize at least a
little. I thought I'd have a sweet gentle child since we are pretty laid
back quiet people ourselves. Nope not our boy, he's rough and tough and all
boy indeed. Pretty good kid but ACTIVE. Basically our main parenting plan
for discipline is sticking to our guns. When we say something it goes and
that's all there is to it. If it's bedtime then it's bedtime no if's ands or
but,s and he does try the sympathy card at bedtime for sure. I couldn't
imagine not disciplining him I just don't agree with spanking in public and
if I do have to discipline him it needs to be in a form of time out as in
restraint. at a store it's in a cart and a function it's face the wall and
don't move and I had to do that one at the doctor's office the other day.
Works great for us as keeping still is pretty much impossible for him. He
hates it and complies pretty quick after that. loved your thoughts by the
way.

Message: 4
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:33:53 -0600
From: "Jan Wright" <jan.wrightfamily5 at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] discipline
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20B059A100B049B29AF3A33AC5A89707 at imranroom>
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sometimes, I do think that your children need to be scolded a bit in public.
Not cussed at and in no way talked to rudely.
But:  Firm and rude are two different concepts.
I see way too many mothers who do "nothing."
their child is running through the store, being terrors to the other
customers, touching and playing with things that should not be played with
and are allowed to be quite rude themselves:
and
if parents say anything at all, it is:
"Now hun, don't do that, ok???"
... in that sing song voice that drips with fake kindness.
Why do parents ask children"OK?" as if "is it ok with you that I discipline
you?"
and, why do parents feel bad about teaching their children some manners.
sure, children are going to be children.
But, if we let children get away with saying:
"Wow Mommy, that lady is fat!"
or
"Can't you just give it to me for free?"
or
inappropriate bad language because somehow, "it is cute when a three year
old says it and... really, she doesn't know any better, she does not know
what she is saying."
then, what do we expect when they are adults?

I would first make my discipline only a matter between us.
I might whisper in the ear or say it softly.
But, if they continued to seek public attention, then, it warranted a public
response.
Not a show of spanking... ...
not a shameful bashing,
but a public repremand.
with the issues that surround us as blind parents, some children know that
they can play on sighted people's sympathies.
You have to make sure that you don't let your child control the situation...
... especially with unacceptable behavior.


-- 
Shannan Zinck
Survival is letting GOD take over!!!