[blparent] Censoring reading?

[Erin Rumer]

Bridgit and Leanne I totally agree with your statements.  I think that we
under estimate the influences and effects that books like this can have on
any mind, but especially a child's influential and developing mind.  As a
well-respected pastor of mine once said, these forms of media create "stains
on the brain" and a lot of times we don't even realize the subconscious
effects they cause.  Why put that stuff in our heads and especially our
children's heads when there are so many wonderful good readings?  I had
pretty liberal parents growing up who allowed me to read King and other
things like that and even at a young age I didn't feel good about it,
although I still did out of curiosity because what kid wouldn't if allowed.
I feel like in many ways I was being more of a parent than my own parents
because not much was censored in my home and I can tell you I don't feel any
wiser or more worldly because of having seen and read some of the graphic
and vile garbage I was allowed to.  I wish my parents would have introduced
me to more healthy forms of entertainment and I will definitely be taking an
active role in my sons life as he begins to read, watch different shows,
etc.  I don't plan on making a huge blown-up deal about these things, but
simply and calmly have talks with my son about why certain things should not
be dabbled in.  I can't protect him from every little thing since we're in
the real world after all, so I'm sure Dawson will see his eye full of horror
which again will be a perfect opportunity for me as a parent to teach him
right from wrong and have an interpersonal conversation about what different
things mean and what makes those things wrong.  Food for thought.

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 5:46 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Censoring reading?

I also promised to not comment on this subject again, but I always have some
strong compulsion to state my opinion when I feel strongly about a subject.
I'm not always a fan favorite, and I understand this.  This is my olive
branch.

While I stand behind my arguement, I truly apologize if my tone was
judgmental.  It is not fair for anyone to assume a tone that may sound harsh
or accusatory.  I always tell people there is a way to argue a point, but
leave out the judgments and personal attacks.  I apologize if I came across
this way- it isn't fair, and no one is perfect especially me.

I'm the oldest sibling in my family, and I have a nephew and niece who are
approaching the pre-teen phase, but I only have a 20-month-old, and while I
prepare for the future, I know things are easier said than done.
When my youngest sister was 17, she lived with my husband and me for a year,
and this was a time full of trials.  Trust me, I don't envy those of you
with teens!  My only real goal in that situation was to not respond to
things the way my parents had with me, and to let my sister know that I was
available.  My parents believed in a dictatorship for parenting, and I often
felt like a prisoner-of-war awaiting a trial that never came.  I tried to
create a different environment for my teenage sister.  Despite our best
efforts... Well let's just say I can live without teenagers for a time!
*smile*

So I know I have yet to experience the daily grind of a pre-teen.  I may
have opinions, but I lack the experience.  Parenting is a learning process
I'm sure we never graduate from, we just move into new phases.
And parenting any child regardless of age is not easy.

I'm not saying kids who read books like King's will grow up crazy and odd,
nor am I saying anyone is a terrible parent for allowing kids to read these
books.  I just think subject matter presented the way King does is not
appropriate.  It is for adults, and I'm not comfortable with kids in this
age bracket reading such adult content.

We can't control everything our children do especially as they grow older.
And I don't want to be a parent that never gives any slack on the leash- my
parents were like this, and I still remember how it felt.
Let me put it this way, at 23, while still living at home, my parents still
enforced a curfew, wouldn't let me watch TV shows like Friends and E. R. and
tried to control who I dated and was friends with.  I moved out the same
year.  If they were like this with a twenty-something-year-old, you can
imagine how they were when I was younger.

So I don't believe in sheltering, or denying our kids their every whim, but
I still feel like there is inappropriate material out in the world-
literature, films, art, etc.- and for me, I hesitate to encourage a child
younger than their teens to be exposed to it.

One of my biggest problems with King is not just the sexual content, but it
is the kind of sex.  It is often graphic and violent.  A child who is
10 to 12 years of age is entering the sexual awakening phase.  They're
coming-of-age and discovering sex- in terms of attraction and feeling those
warm, fuzzy flip-flops in their stomachs.  Here is a child, still
developing, but entering this sexual awakening, and what kind of images are
they presented with?  Graphic rape and sex scenes.

This does not mean a kid will now grow up to become a rapist, or that
they'll associate sex with violence, but images stick in our heads for
years, and even the majority of us who don't go off the deep end from
exposure to such material, will be influenced in some way.  It's basic
psychology.  I guess I'd rather have any child exposed to less graphic
content while they are still forming and discovering who they are.

We make decisions everyday as parents, and we do the best we can, and at the
end of the day, we all still grow up and do what we want- whether our
parents agree or not.  This is the most rewarding job, but also the most
difficult and often thankless job.  Maybe, just maybe, being president is
slightly more difficult and thankless, but it's pretty close!  *smile*

And I'm done, really.  I want to be supportive and helpful, but sometimes my
passionate nature gets the better of me.  I respect any parent involved in
their child's life- I may not agree with certain things, just as people
don't always agree with me- but especially in this day and age, parents who
make an effort to be involved and take time to simply talk with their kids,
deserve a reward.  And I particularly respect parents on this list because
we are blind, but this was not a reason to give up having a family.  We
refuse to believe our children are in danger with us, and we don't accept
limitations because we happen to be blind.  I know a lot of blind people who
still think a family and kids are not possible, so I give credit to all of
you for saying F U world!  *grin*

I apologize for my heated argument, but understand it comes from a good
place.  When I don't care, I'm quiet, though I'm sure there are many people
who wouldn't mind a reprieve like that!  *giggle*

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog for Live Well Nebraska.com at
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/


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