[blparent] school teacher - not an issue

[Barbara Hammel]

Nikki, I'd agree with Rebecca here.  You need to talk to your dad about how 
it made you feel when he talked like you weren't there.
You also need to look at the relationship your father has with your brother. 
How much does he do for him even though he's on his own.
Do you know how to get to the school by yourself?  Are you confident in your 
cane skills and ability to cross streets and knowing where you are and how 
to figure things out if you get lost or a little off course?
If not, what do you do during the day?  Do you have plenty of time that you 
could try working on these skills independently?  Really, the big thing is 
getting to school because on the way home you can be talking to your son and 
indirectly depend on him to get home--if he knows the way.
Do you know how to cook now?  If you wish to go off on your own someday, 
there are tons of things you must teach yourself--or get help 
learning--before that can happen.
What if you enlisted your father to help you learn?  You've said your skills 
have deteriorated as your vision has left.  Have you inadvertently led your 
father to believe you can't do anything?
Do you have friends who might be willing to help you learn to do things or 
your brother and his family.  Maybe make it a family affair to teach Nikki 
to be independent.
It's a tough place to be in, being all grown up with a child of your own but 
not able to be truly independent.  I hope you don't think any of us think 
less of you because of your position.  We're just trying to help.
Barbara




Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay 
any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose 
any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.--John 
F. Kennedy
-----Original Message----- 
From: Nikki
Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 9:21 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

    It's a question of him letting me.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just there.

Like this morning. Walking home from dropping the kid off at school.
My son's friend's mom was walking with my dad and I. My dad talking about
how he might need help on MWF's to get the boy from school because he has to
pick up the cousin's from their school and then drive back here to pick up
my son.
They were talking about a way for her to be there for my son in case he's
late or something.
I had already said that I was going to pick him up.

I just don't think he has enough confidence in me to walk up to the school
and get my son.
I guess it's going to take me doing the task to get him used to it.
But my point is my dad was talking to her like I don't exist or it's his
responsibility.
Or like my son is his kid. Ugh!
-----Original Message----- 
From: Sheila Leigland
Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 8:55 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

Hi nikki it is difficult to control corcumstances when you live at home with
parents. I know in my situation a long time ago now i felt like I really
didn't have the right to speak up. It was their house not mine in the same
way. There was so much that I didn't know about blindness skills. Parents
don't intend to be mean or controling. They believe they are being helpful.
I wanted to grow up and felt that I had the right to do so but didn't know
how to proceed. My vr counselor at the time talked to me about getting an
apartment and I was so hesetant to talk to my parents about it that an
apartment was found before I discussed it and my parents found out. They
were verry upset and hurt. It wasn't my intention to hurt them but that
happened at least in part because I didn't have enough confidence in myself
to take the necessary stands. Then I found out that they didn't feel I was
capable of independence and I became hurt and angry. There was plenty of
blame to go around. I'm totally blind and I couldn't watch my parents do
things and learn that way. I needed hands on instruction. I got my apartment
and worked for around six weeks with a rehab teacher and it helped alot.
Your dad will come around when he sees that you can do the things that you
need to do.

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40comcast.net


_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
blparent:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn.com