[blparent] school teacher - not an issue
Jo Elizabeth Pinto
jopinto at msn.com
Fri Aug 26 04:44:18 UTC 2011
I've got two friends, they drive cars, but I pretty much navigate because
they can't find anything, ever.
Jo Elizabeth
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning,
unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into
advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2011 10:27 PM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
> That is just part of life. Let me tell you something, even sightlings get
> lost. Just part of life.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2011 8:05 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>
> It is nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets "misplaced."
> I think my vision loss started deteriorating to it's worst after I had my
> son.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2011 8:17 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>
> We've all had those situations, and it's easy to panic. But one thing I
> learned when I got my guide dog--and it works with canes, too, just
> without
> the dog part--is to stop and have your dog sit. Take a few deep breaths.
> Count to ten, more than once if you need to. By then, most of the time,
> you
> can think straight. You can ask someone for directions, or start
> remembering landmarks and clues that will help you determine where you
> need
> to go.
>
> I transcribed some interviews of people attending the Colorado Center for
> the Blind a few years ago for a graduate student. One of the best things
> I
> recall from the interviews was that some of the instructors told students
> to
> consider themselves "misplaced" instead of "lost" when they got into a
> situation. "Misplaced" means you just aren't quite where you need to be,
> but "lost" implies panic. That has helped me a lot, even though I never
> attended CCB.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning,
> unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into
> advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Pipi" <blahblahblah0822 at gmail.com>
> Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2011 6:41 PM
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>
>> Nikki,
>> I had a situation about a month ago. I was meant to leave the doctor's
>> office and walk the 4 blocks to my mom's work. I had my ID cane with me
>> and was using it. I had talked the route out with my mom. I had her drive
>> it so that I could check it out from the car.
>> So the day comes that I have to do it alone for the first time. I was
>> using my cane, thought I had crossed a road and it ended up being just a
>> drive way. I managed to twist my ankle and then was limping. At this
>> point
>> I'm frustrated. I then crossed again what I thought was the next road
>> perpendicular and started limping on my way down what I thought was the
>> correct direction only to get 4 blocks down the road and it not being the
>> correct place. I then back tracked, attempting to stay calm, catching
>> the
>> darn cane in every crack, it's 100 degrees outside. Needless to say, I
>> managed to get myself lost. I was mad at myself, beyond upset, and felt
>> like a failure and called my mom to come find me.
>> I didn't give up there though. My next appointment came 2 weeks later.
>> Even though my mom was concerned that I couldn't do it, she knew that I
>> could try. I had my 2 year old daughter with me this time and no cane due
>> to the dog eating it and I haven't found a new one.
>> I ramble, but my point is, this time, I slowed down, took deep breaths,
>> and enjoyed a slow leisurely walk with my daughter. I made it across the
>> driveway and to the correct street this time. I made it to her work just
>> fine. It felt great and I'm so happy that I didn't give up.
>> I had to do it again today and there was one little spot where I had to
>> stop and rethink and make sure I was going the right way. We made it
>> again
>> just fine.
>> I'll be doing this walk pretty much every 2 weeks for a year. I'm
>> confident that I can figure it out now. I may not always make it there
>> perfectly, but I will be able to get out of the little troubles I get
>> myself into.
>> Please know that we all do this at some point. Whether sighted or blind,
>> everyone gets lost, misses a turn, or makes a mistake. I know you can get
>> out there and try again.
>> Someone mentioned taking walks with your son. This is a great idea for a
>> way for the 2 of you to spend some quality time together and alws for you
>> to get more confidence.
>> I plan to go back to using the cane as soon as I get a new one ordered.
>> I'm struggling to find one that will suit my needs and desires. I liked
>> the ID cane because it folded up small enough for a purse, but it doesn't
>> work well now taht I'm actually trying to use it. I wish I could find a
>> sturdier cane that folded up smaller than the folding canes I've seen.
>> OK I'm sorry for the novel. I'm shutting up now.
>> Pipi
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at comcast.net>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 5:23 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>>
>>
>>> Ok… I think you’ve gotten it a little confused, twisted.
>>> Let me fix that.
>>>
>>> I know that it is only fair that I help out with the chores.
>>> But the reason I do the dishes sometimes and not vaccume, dust or
>>> laundry, has nothing to do with my parents not having the confidence in
>>> me to do these things.
>>> It has more to do with it being their house and them having standards
>>> that I know I couldn’t live up to. Meaning they have a certain way and
>>> if
>>> it’s not done their way the first time, they don’t want to have to take
>>> the time to do it again, or check for my mistakes. They don’t want to
>>> waste time, so they figure, if they do it, then they don’t have to worry
>>> about anything missed.
>>>
>>> The reason I do the dishes sometimes, is that I have a nerve condition
>>> in
>>> my hands where when they come in contact with hot water, they become
>>> tingly and hard to grab things.
>>>
>>> My dad does the laundry for economical reasons. He has a certain way of
>>> doing things.
>>> My mom cleans the bathrooms. She also works and my dad is an early
>>> retiree.
>>> IDK if he’s going to go back to work or not now that my son is in school
>>> all day.
>>>
>>> Anyway…
>>> I’m upset with the RTA here in IL because I’m supposed to get a phone
>>> call from …oh wait, my memory just told me it’s the Lighthouse that’s
>>> supposed to be training me with cane skills, but nothing.
>>> I’m finding that I really need Orientation and Mobility training.
>>>
>>> I went to try walking up to the school by myself, was doing fine, but
>>> somehow found myself going up someone’s driveway.
>>> It is so frustrating especially with that bright sun. I rely a lot on
>>> what sight I do have.
>>> Luckily my dad was walking and saw me.
>>> I have this drive where I want to do it myself, it being going to pick
>>> up
>>> my kid.
>>> My dad saw me mess up and it showed him that I can’t do it.
>>>
>>> I want to thank everyone again for all the motivational wisdom.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>>> Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 4:38 PM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>>>
>>> Hi. As some have said, I think we need to keep all of this in
>>> perspective.
>>> Independence is important, but so is interdependence. Sometimes we can
>>> get
>>> into such a battle to do everything on our own that we forget our
>>> families
>>> and spouses have good intentions. They're usually, though not always,
>>> not
>>> out to undermine us.
>>>
>>> For example, in my house, Gerald balances both of our checkbooks and
>>> makes
>>> sure the bills are paid. Could I do it online? Yes. Have I done it in
>>> the
>>> past? Yes. But we've found a way to split up household duties that
>>> usually, though not always, works for us. We go to the store together
>>> to
>>> do
>>> the shopping. I do most of the cooking. He does the laundry because he
>>> said when we moved in together that he didn't like the way I did mine,
>>> and I
>>> told him he knew where the soap was and how to turn the machines on. I
>>> pay
>>> someone to come in and do some of my cleaning because it's more
>>> economical
>>> for me to spend that time working--I can make more money than I pay the
>>> cleaning helper.
>>>
>>> That's all personal, the way we've decided to handle things. But what
>>> I'm
>>> getting at is, it's okay, even desirable, to share the work and depend
>>> on
>>> each other in a household, no matter who lives there. Now your dad
>>> doing
>>> things for you because he believes you can't do them, that's probably
>>> something you need to work on fixing. But if the argument can be made
>>> that
>>> you live in his house, well, he lives there, too. You all do. So
>>> there's
>>> nothing wrong with working out a system of dividing up chores that suits
>>> all
>>> of you. Your son is old enough, even, to be helping out with some
>>> things.
>>> The point I would concentrate on is that he is your son, you do have the
>>> right to make the final decisions, no matter whose house you live in.
>>> But
>>> remember, a lot of us have that battle, even with friends we don't live
>>> with. My favorite line to use with a couple of friends who get overly
>>> pushy, wanting to take over with Sarah, is, "I'm her mom, and I'm not
>>> dead
>>> yet." It's gotten to be something we can all laugh over, but they know
>>> to
>>> step back, and they do it without resentment.
>>>
>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>
>>> "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning,
>>> unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat
>>> into
>>> advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt
>>>
>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>> From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 1:14 PM
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>>>
>>>> You've a point there. Vacuuming is one of the jobs I never got as a
>>>> child. I was the duster. Parents eventually tried teaching me but it's
>>>> just one--of the many--things that I'm no good at.
>>>> Better get to working on it, eh.
>>>> Now that Paul's not afraid of the vacuum I should try teaching him a
>>>> skill--besides how to throw all the little fuzz balls he picks off the
>>>> carpet and throws.
>>>> It's funny because he used to be terrified of the vacuum and I used to
>>>> start it up when he'd throw food to get him to stop. (He's always been
>>>> old enough to know better since we've had him.) The other week I went
>>>> to get the vacuum to sweep the basement carpet and he decided it might
>>>> be an interesting thing to check out. We took the hose out of its
>>>> place
>>>> and played with the suction on his face and hands and tummy. Now we
>>>> have to stop him from wanting to help if he hears it running.
>>>> Barbara
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall
>>>> pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend,
>>>> oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of
>>>> liberty.--John F. Kennedy
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 1:07 PM
>>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>>>>
>>>> So don't ask. Husband's job is to say "Thank you, honey" or to do it
>>>> himself.
>>>> Any other response is unacceptable and he knows it.
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>> On Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:44 PM
>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>>>>
>>>> The same feelings one gets when one asks their sighted spouse how the
>>>> floor
>>>> looks after you ran the vacuum and the response is "It'll do." What
>>>> the
>>>> heck does that mean?
>>>> Needless to say, vacuuming doesn't get done near enough.
>>>> Barbara
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall
>>>> pay
>>>> any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend,
>>>> oppose
>>>> any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of
>>>> liberty.--John
>>>> F. Kennedy
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: Nikki
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 4:59 PM
>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>>>>
>>>> Hi Debbie.
>>>> I feel as though I shouldn't have to prove my capabilities to my
>>>> parents.
>>>> It is MY son, isn't it?
>>>> I shouldn't feel like I'm being controlled just because I live in their
>>>> house, you know?
>>>>
>>>> Rebecca.
>>>> I have a laptop and my parents respect my privacy, so no worries there.
>>>> If anything were to come up, you can be certain I'll make sure they
>>>> hear
>>>> about it.
>>>> I am the youngest of 2. My older brother lives with his family.
>>>> As far as friends, I have a couple, but not going to talk to them about
>>>> my
>>>> feelings.
>>>>
>>>> V, my son constantly reminds me and my parents that I'm the boss.
>>>> So, if he wants something and asks my mom, she tells him, "go ask your
>>>> mom."
>>>> I'm the one in charge.
>>>>
>>>> As far as my dad doing everything, I'm ashamed and embarrassed.
>>>> I get frustrated when we're both in the kitchen, I get the milk and a
>>>> glass.
>>>> In the midst of what he's doing, stops and takes these items from me
>>>> and
>>>> pours the glass for me.
>>>> Now, I'm able to do this myself and today, I told him, "what are you
>>>> doing?
>>>> I can do this myself."
>>>> IDK what exactly he said, but I think he said,"I know." I asked him,
>>>> "then
>>>> why aren't you letting me do it myself?
>>>> His response told me he has little or no confidence in me. He said, "I
>>>> just
>>>> washed the counter. I don't want to clean it again."
>>>> Do you know what that does to someone's self esteem?
>>>>
>>>> So, it's not so much me letting him do everything. His stress he has,
>>>> is
>>>> brought on by himself.
>>>> I may need to fix some things with myself, but God and I are working on
>>>> it.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: Deborah Kent Stein
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 12:12 PM
>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Dear Nikki,
>>>>
>>>> Great news! The more you take control, the more your folks are likely
>>>> to
>>>> see how capable you are.
>>>>
>>>> Debbie
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at comcast.net>
>>>> To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 10:03 AM
>>>> Subject: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Just an update...
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi all.
>>>>> I want to thank you all for the confidence boost.
>>>>> My dad, son, and I went to meet the teacher yesterday.
>>>>> I asked her if she could email me the handouts and I was very pleased
>>>>> to
>>>>> find out that she would be happy to do it for me.
>>>>> But my dad still requested the paper handouts for himself.
>>>>> IDK why, but it was rather upsetting that he feels he has to be
>>>>> involved.
>>>>>
>>>>> Anyway, success!
>>>>> Oh and I’m going to pick my son up from school, give my dad a break,
>>>>> lol.
>>>>>
>>>>> It’s confusing to me that my parents complain, mainly my dad, about
>>>>> having
>>>>> to do everything, but when I take a stand, it back fires.
>>>>> Meaning, it’s hard for him to accept me being independent.
>>>>>
>>>>> Nikki
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blparent mailing list
>>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
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>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
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>>
>>
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>
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