[blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with a visualimpairment

Sat Dec 31 17:32:21 UTC 2011

Hi Jo Elizabeth,
We're willing to have sighted friends travel with us to the zoo, fair, ETC.
We're also very happy to have play dates and spend time with sighted friends
and their children with absolutely no problem at all. But, we don't want to
depend on sighted assistance on a daily basis. :) We've provided way more
than the required amount of recommendation letters, and our agency and the
state have been made aware of our support network of many friends. I believe
that if we even hint to needing sighted assistance on a daily basis too
often, the state may feel we're too dependent on sighted friends in order to
independently care for and parent a child. I realize this was not what
you're suggesting, so please don't take this message as me chewing you out
in any way. :)

Right now, we're only looking at having 1 child at a time in our home,
although we've tossed around the idea of two children for various reasons.
The second child option wouldn't happen right away though, as we have more
preparation we'll need to do before that can happen. We're being licensed
for one child first. :) We're both at home each day, and we believe this
will be helpful as we get to know the child in our home.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, and happy new year!

In Christ, Miranda

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2011 12:13 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with a
visualimpairment

I have the "Mommy I'm Here" device.  It's really loud, but it might work
well, especially if you have a lot of different children in your home so
that you can't count on the rule about coming when called.  I don't remember
how much I spent on the device, but I'm sure it was less than $30.  The nice
thing about the device is that it will not only grab the attention of your
wandering toddler, but it will alert anybody else in the area as well.  So,
God forbid, if there really were something funny going on, a stranger might
give up and flee.  The problem I have with the device, and the reason I
haven't used it more, is that it comes with an opening that would work for a
belt, but if your child isn't wearing a belt, there's no good way to attach
the teddy bear that beeps when you push the button on your keychain.

Honestly, to please the state and also to make it easier for you to travel
with multiple children or ones you don't know that well yet, I would
consider trying to rally a network of sighted people who can help you.  Yes,
I did say get sighted help.  It may get me chewed out on this list, but
what's best for the kids comes first, and I've found that it's easier to go
to places like the zoo or the fair if you travel with someone who can see
where to go and watch your child when he or she wants to stray a little from
your side.  Not that I can't, or haven't, traveled alone, but I think my
daughter has had a more well-rounded set of life experiences than she might
have had otherwise because I'm willing to accept, and even ask for, sighted
help when I need it.  Like yesterday, I invited a sighted friend out for
lunch at Chic FilA.  She got her lunch paid for, so she drove to the
restaurant.  We got to hang out and chat, and she could see Sarah through
the glass window that closed off the play area, so I didn't have to check in
with Sarah every few minutes.  Sarah got some space.  It worked out.  I'm
just saying, the state is going to be interested in what resources you have.

That was a question that came up even for my brother, who is sighted and
fostering a toddler.  I'm sure it will be even more important for you.  I
know you can't leave foster kids with babysitters unless they're authorized
by the state, but I bet you can stay with the kids and go places in a group
with other adults.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "January Lifebook" <januaryslifebook at gmail.com>
Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2011 7:47 AM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with a
visualimpairment

> This group had an interesting conversation not too long ago about how 
> to find your toddlers when they start exploring.  One parent suggested 
> putting bells on her little one so that she could hear him.  I have a 
> friend who found shoes that squeak for her toddler for when they in 
> public.  Her daughter LOVES them and my friend feels more confident in 
> public.  I have a little device that I found on Amazon.  I think it is 
> called "Mommy I'm Here."  It is a little device that goes on the baby 
> and I have a remote.
> If I lose track of him (say in a play area or at the playground), I 
> push my remote and the device gives off a high pitched beep.  I have 
> not had to use it yet.  My little guy is pretty good at coming back 
> when called, but it is nice to have!
> Good luck with everything.
> January
>
> On Fri, Dec 30, 2011 at 9:57 PM, Miranda B. <knownoflove at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Hi Jo Elizabeth,
>> Thank you so much for your email! All you are saying is so true, and 
>> we and our caseworker agree! :) The one question I asked our 
>> caseworker during our phone conversation was, "When will enough be 
>> enough?" I then said, "You can not in your right mind tell me that 
>> after a point all of these questions from the state won't be crossing 
>> that very fine line of discrimination."
>> Thanks again, and thanks to everyone who has replied so far for 
>> reminding us that we're not alone and we're not crazy!
>>
>> In Christ, Miranda
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> Sent: Friday, December 30, 2011 11:46 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with a 
>> visual impairment
>>
>> Give the state any information you can find, but Sheila is right.  
>> Like I told my sister when she worried that my baby would put 
>> something in her mouth and choke on it, or get knocked over by the 
>> dog, or some other horrific thing--blind parents don't keep the 
>> emergency rooms open by themselves.  Accidents happen to everybody, 
>> and the best you can possibly do is take every precaution you can 
>> think of, and then maybe try to dream up a few more, and then relax, 
>> know basic first aid, and hope for the best like all other parents 
>> do.  I know sighted parents whose children drank cough medicine and 
>> had to go get charcoal in the emergency room, or swallowed coins and 
>> had to go to the hospital and get them fished out.  I've got a friend 
>> who had a neighbor that lost her two-year-old to strangulation 
>> because of a cord on a window blind.  I've got another friend who 
>> knows a couple with a ten-year-old daughter who nearly drowned in a 
>> swimming pool last summer.  None of them were bad parents.  
>> Momentarily inattentive maybe, but who hasn't been?
>>
>> I guess that would be my main stress point for the social workers, is 
>> that you realize as blind parents, you have to be more attentive than 
>> your sighted peers.  You have to know what possible dangers are in 
>> the environment, eliminate the ones you can, and take extra care to 
>> put what shouldn't be reached out of reach.  You have to follow 
>> safety rules rigidly--hold hands in parking lots, cut grapes and hot 
>> dogs in half to minimize the choking risk, etc--because you know you 
>> can't fall back on your vision.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
>> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and 
>> tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you 
>> will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, 
>> American scientist
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Sheila Leigland" <sleigland at bresnan.net>
>> Sent: Friday, December 30, 2011 8:51 PM
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with a
>> visualimpairment> I don't know if we did anything differently than
>> sighted
>> parents should have been doing accept understand that vision was not 
>> an option to be used.
>> We had baby gates. We had a baby monitor, when we built a deck it was 
>> railed and had a gate on it. We taught him to come when he was called 
>> and that lule was consedered unbreakable. We had a fenced yard in 
>> fact it was six feet high and then people complained that it looked 
>> like a prison. We had a baby gate separating the kitchen and the 
>> living room until our son discovered at the ripe old age of 2 how to 
>> unlock it. Then we were told that he watched us do it surprise 
>> surprise he could see. We tried to keep him from climbing oh welll 
>> that only lasted so long. We held hands when we crossed the street.
>> There is no way to plan for everything and sighted people can't do it 
>> eiter.
>>
>> And if they claim that they do they are deceiving themselves as well 
>> as others.
>> >
>> > Sheila Leiglan d
>> >
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>
>
> --
> January Wilson
> Discovery Toys Education Consultant
> (520)331-2342
> http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/esuite/home/januarywilson
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