[blparent] Keeping young children safe with a visual impairment

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Miranda and others,

Before I say what I have to say, let me make it clear I'm in no way
suggesting you and your husband become difficult and belligerent. As
most of us know, this attitude, though seemingly called for at times in
my opinion (this meant sarcastically, smile( usually does nothing to
help further our abilities in the eyes of doubters and detractors.

That being said, I caution you to tread carefully in terms of not
labeling actions as discriminatory.

The fact of the matter is that whether people hop on board with us or
not, "it" should not be right or legal to ask a blind person to go above
and beyond what others are asked to do for any given circumstance. From
my own brief communications with you, you and your husband seem like
capable, confident people who know how to handle situations like this,
and this post isn't necessarily directed only to you, but I'm sick and
tired of those with visual impairments being asked to prove things and
jump through hoops that are in no way fair or equal. If the state was
asking for more information about how a Muslim or Latino family would
safely parent, well, we know the legal system would not support this (or
at least have the gall to outright say such things in this day and age).
Yet blind people are asked to jump through hoops that others are not. I
know I'm preaching to the choir, and I know this is why the Federation
produced the informational book on blind parenting, but I think we need
to do more because it's not fair that we have to prove ourselves in ways
that other parents do not have too.

It doesn't matter whether people "trust" that a blind person can do
something safely; people learn foreign languages I don't know; doesn't
mean I don't believe others can't speak them. People understand physics
concepts that go beyond my "own" understanding; doesn't mean that
because I don't understand it that it automatically means others
therefore can't either. Adoptive or biological, parents should not have
to "prove" anything that is not normally asked of a parent.

You and your husband are taking an extra class through Hadley; I doubt
others going through the licensing process are taking classes outside
the ones offered by the state. You are being asked to document and seek
out information on how to do something simple, and again, I doubt others
are having to provide, and do leg work, similar information. In my
opinion, this is discrimination, but as usual, we're suppose to smile
and take the submissive stance, after-all, we can certainly understand
why anyone would ask this of us, right? In my opinion, wrong.

The safety of children is paramount, and if the state has had problems
with this in the past, to an extent, it makes sense to ensure children
are paired with homes that will provide that security, but if others
going through the parenting process, adoptive or otherwise, are not
being asked to do similar things, this crosses the line into
discrimination. So, to you parents who have more experience, and wisdom,
and those who have been "dealing" with this "blind" situation longer,
when do we stand up and say, "Hey, this isn't fair! My visual impairment
in no way affects my ability to parent. And I fail to see others jumping
through similar hoops." I know we don't want to rock the boat, but I
don't think we can either continue to allow this behavior and mindset to
be acceptable and normal.

I'm not trying to be difficult (well, much, grin) but this is what has
been the most difficult adjustment for me since losing my sight 8 years
ago; the perceptions and attitudes of others.  I grew up sighted, taking
these things for granted. I didn't become blind until an adult, and I'm
relatively still new to blindness compared to many of you, so it's often
more difficult for me to sit passively by with these issues. I'm the
same person, with the same values and goals, it happens I just can no
longer "see." Yet this one aspect of me tends to rule everything else in
the eyes of many. I'm probably just PMS-ing (ha-ha!) but I hear stories
like yours, Miranda, and I am outraged. Decades of toiling for equality
and fair treatment, and it seems like we are still proving our abilities
that shouldn't, quite frankly, be questioned at all. For far too many
still, it doesn't matter how many blind people can parade in front of
their eyes proving just what the blind are capable of; they still don't
believe, they still doubt and think they, who have no knowledge of
blindness of other than those based on perceptions and stereotypes, what
being blind is like and what can and can not be done. This is egregious
behavior that is to antiquated to continue to exist anymore. But as
always, where do we go? Where do we start? In my opinion, we need an
official initiative agreed upon and enacted by each state to work on
education, legislation, mediation and any other effort to change these
views in the eyes of the public and the government.

Okay, sorry for the rant. I'm just a little testy, as are the rest of
you, on this issue in particular.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 7
Date: Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:51:02 -0500
From: "Miranda B." <knownoflove at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with a
	visual	impairment
Message-ID: <001701ccc756$454c6090$cfe521b0$@gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

Hi,

For those of you who know me and have talked with me for any length of
time, you may find the subject of this email a bit puzzling, so please
let me explain.

As some of you may know, my husband and I are currently in the process
of being licensed as foster parents. After sending our home study to the
state for approval, our caseworker (through a private agency) received
notice from the state that they are requesting more information. They
are asking her to investigate further resources and information about
how we will keep a child in our home safe as foster parents who happen
to be Blind. The state has made it very clear that they are not wanting
to discriminate in any way, but that they are requesting more
information from many families regarding child safety due to recent
incidents in our foster care system. They are also wanting more
information than usual from those applying to be foster parents who have
never been parents before this. 

In return, we have answered basic questions of safety as best as we can
and we've reiterated that we have all childproofing in place in our home
(our case was recently transferred to a caseworker who knows us but has
not recently been in our home.) We want to approach this situation with
the intent to educate the state about resources for Blind parents, and
adaptions we make as parents who are visually impaired. We have made it
clear that there is a fine line between wanting more information and
discrimination (whether intentional or not) and that we will appeal any
denial for licensing should the need arise. We are taking a Hadley
parenting course, and this has been documented. We've told our
caseworker about the NFB and other Blindness organizations. Now, we are
coming to you for tips and advice. Can you tell us adaptions you made to
keep your children safe? These could be adaption for medical care,
making sure they didn't run out the door of your home, keeping them safe
while you are cooking, ETC. Anything you cn think of we'd appreciate it!
Also, for those of you who have adopted or been licensed as foster
parents, if you could provide any tips or advice on this matter this
would also be greatly appreciated!

Lastly, if you can think of any resources at all to pass along to our
caseworker and the state, we'd appreciate any thing you can think of.

Thanks in advance for any help you can give, and happy new year!

 

In Christ, Miranda