[blparent] Bells; Yea or Ney?

Wed Mar 16 02:16:03 UTC 2011

We have a book, it's called "Parenting without sight."  You can get it from NFB Independence Market.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chad Allen
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 4:54 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Bells; Yea or Ney?

Hi Everyone,

This is all great information. I love hearing all these excellent perspectives and techniques used by blind parents. We should all write a book or something.

As for my confidence in using or not using bells, I'm open to anything. I gave up my indiscretions about my blindness years ago. I am a graduate of the Colorado Center for the Blind and it literally changed my life. Now, I travel where ever I need to go, I use whatever technique is beneficial, and I overcome any challenge with wisdom and confidence. The exciting part about this list is the fact that I don't need to re-invent the wheel with my parenting skills. I started by experimenting on my own and found that I could come up with various methods to solve many of the problems of parenting as a blind person. The reality is that I not only wanted to share my discoveries but I wanted to hear from other pioneers in the field and see if they had equal or better ideas than mine. 

So many of my family members were first terrified of the fact that I was blind with their grandchild but I basically told them that I had to take him out with me and live my life. I needed to bring him on hikes with me and to the store etc. If I did none of these things, what would Harrison's opinion be of me as a father? In reality, there is no alternative. I am blind and my son has a blind father. He will learn the life I live and I want that experience to be a positive one for him and me. 

I remember the first time I took my son hiking. I was scared and so was my wife. We struggled with conversations as we got into more difficult terrain (by the way, my wife is sighted) and she literally cried after we walked down a steep trail. 

But my resolve is as strong now as it was then, if I am confident in doing whatever I'm doing with Harrison, I told my wife that she'll have to find a way to be confident too. 

Now those hikes are frequent and we are no longer afraid. I hike alone and we hike together.   My son loves to be outside and he is so happy when mommy and daddy are exploring the world together as a family. He's going to know that he can do anything he wants in life because that's what mommy and daddy do and I have to say it; This experience would have never happened for me if it wasn't for the National Federation of the Blind. Once I learned that it was respectable to be blind and I believed it with all my heart and soul, the sky was the limit. This philosophy seemed easy a few years after my training at the CCB but I had to ask myself all the same questions once I became a parent. As I learned to do more and more with him, my confidence grew and my resolve persevered. 

I look forward to sharing more with you about my wonderful life as a blind parent and look forward to learning more and more about yours. 

Best wishes,

Chad 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 3:16 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Bells; Yea or Ney?

We adopted our kids when they were almost 3 but we used squeaker shoes when 
out in public.  I would suggest that if you want to try bells to give you 
confidence in your ability to locate him, go for it.  You may find that soon 
you won't need them because you'll learn his habits of things he likes to 
get into or places he likes to go where he shouldn't.  None will think 
lesser of you if you use them.  We are all individuals and therefore 
entitled to do different things to accommodate.  I thought I'd use bells but 
found quickly that they weren't necessary because they didn't move around 
much.  Now we have one whose sneaky and one who doesn't care if you know 
what he's doing.  Oh, by the way, I have blind and autistic twins who are 8 
and 3 quarters.
Barbara

Through the sunny fields of yesterday
Echo voices of children now grown,
Their golden peals of laughter
Ring upon the ivied stone.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Chad Allen
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 1:07 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Bells; Yea or Ney?

This is wonderful! A lady mentioned to me today that her mother used bells 
on her and her other children. The woman was sighted but she cooked for a 
living and needed to work long hours while caring for her kids.

The mother would sew small bells to her childrens shoes so the bells would 
be difficult to remove. Now I'm sure the child could remmove the shoes at 
some point but it may be a good trick for the ones that do wish to use 
bells.

I find it interesting that so far, no blind parents actually used bells yet. 
If there are any bell users out there please voice your opinion. Chime in 
anytime...

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Tammy
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 10:45 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Bells; Yea or Ney?

Hi,

I did the same thing, teaching my sons to come when they’re called, or at 
least to answer me so I know where they are.  My 2 year old doesn’t do it 
well yet,  but my 6 year old answers for both of them, and knows that if he 
doesn’t answer when I call him, we leave wherever it is we are, and go home. 
He’s so good about it, we’ve only had to leave 2 times and that was when he 
was very little.

Tammy

From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 1:12 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Bells; Yea or Ney?

Hi.  Honestly, I had planned to use bells, but I never found that I needed
them.  I was just careful to keep the home environment safe and listen
closely to where Sarah was.  The bells might have come in handy in public
places that I wasn't as familiar with, but I started teaching Sarah early,
as soon as she could talk, to answer me when I called her.

Jo Elizabeth

"Some people see things as they are and ask why.  I dream things that never
were and ask why not."--Robert F. Kennedy

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Chad Allen" <chad at chadallenmagic.com>
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 11:07 AM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] Bells; Yea or Ney?

> Hello Blind Parents,
>
>
>
> This list is great! I love being able to voice any concern I have
> regarding
> parenthood as a blind person and actually get quality feedback.
>
>
>
> Harrison is crawling as of this week and I've asked many folks about
> bells.
> I'm not sure I need them but I want to hear it from the pros. To bell or
> not
> to bell, that is the question.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 310.486.8351
>
> www.chadallenmagic.com
>
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
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