[blparent] troubled parent

Thu Mar 24 16:01:26 UTC 2011

What child isn't afraid to be spanked?  Spanking may be one tool in a 
toolbox to use, but if all you have is a hammer, you can't build a house. 
Spanking might work if there's a clear rules, and he has willfully and with 
forethought broken it.  But spanking a kid for not sitting still or talking 
out of turn, which he possibly can't help doing, will only make him scared 
and angry, at least in my opinion.  Again, you're the mom.  Even if you live 
with your parents, unless he is doing something that directly destroys their 
property or endangers them physically, I don't think they have the right to 
overrule you on your parental decisions.  It's easier said than 
done--there's no way on earth I could live with my parents and raise my 
child, and I know that.

Jo Elizabeth

"Some people see things as they are and ask why.  I dream things that never 
were and ask why not."--Robert F. Kennedy

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at comcast.net>
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 9:46 AM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

>     Well, he does go to church school. The last two times were not so 
> good. He has trouble just sitting still listening, focusing his attention.
>
> I feel going to my parents for their parental help is like going into a 
> battlefield without armor. It's like my dad's way is the best logical way 
> and other ways are ruled out. I can't live in my parents home and have 
> their parental ways outrule mine. They seem to think spanking will solve 
> the problem. He's not spanked enough. He is afraid to be spanked.
>
> Another issue is that my dad confuses my son with his joking and teasing 
> with seriousness. My mom tells him not to do that. IDK, I just have it 
> rough, but easy.
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: PICKRELL, REBECCA M (TASC)
> Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 7:52 AM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
>
> Totally agree wite time outdoors.
> Also think you need to be clear to him in what he needs to do. I read your 
> note and have no idea what it is you need him to do. What does "talking 
> when he's not supposed to" mean? What about "not listening or following 
> directions".
> Seriously, you do need to be very clear to him in what he needs to do in a 
> step by step way.
> As for time out, I'm not sure it would work. Part of me thinks he just may 
> need some cuddle time.
> Time outs don't work with my kid. I'll put her stuff in time out as that 
> does work. So if I need her to clean up her trains, and she won't then 
> I'll say "Okay, they will go into time out" and if she still doesn't agree 
> to clean them up or at least help me do so while being a pleasant human 
> being, then I'll put them in time out for the rest of the day.
> Finally, does your mom or dad have any insights? My parents are great at 
> giving me some good perspective. Do you do any activities such as church? 
> I ask because your son will be exposed to people who aren't getting paid 
> to spend time with him. They may have some useful perspectives as well.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Chad Allen
> Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 11:45 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
>
> My suggestion is to be diligent on having time outdoors every day. Find 
> something, even if it’s the same thing daily that involves the outdoors. I 
> have n eight month old so its very different but I notice that if I keep 
> him indoors for too long, he gets edgy. We hike, we walk, we shop, 
> something to change his environment and it usually immediately helps.
>
> I bet it will be good for you too. Stay strong and good luck.
>
> Chad
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 8:27 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] troubled parent
>
>        Nikki here and very distressed. Divorced mother of a 5 year old 
> boy. Live with parents, ugh!
>
> I need behavioral modifacations other than spanking. He doesn’t listen 
> well, follow directions, stay focused, and talks when he’s not supposed 
> to.
>
> Wanting to stay away from spanking for punishment. Anyone have any advice 
> for me?
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