[blparent] troubled parent

Thu Mar 24 18:49:59 UTC 2011

    Wow! Well, christian counseling is for me right now and I was referred 
by a friend at church. My mom expressed family counseling because 
communication is hard between my father and I. That's an issue that somewhat 
relates.

As far as his dad... he abandoned his son. It's pretty simple. When he 
decided to separate, he said he was going to leave and no one will know 
where he is. Some of the story I think is a lie, but whatever, it's in the 
past. Anyway, he called maybe two or three times from then till now and left 
the impression that he was in Pheonix or Colorado. I was keeping my end up 
that I would stay in contact with his mom. That soon escalated into lost 
contact because she lost her phone or couldn't pay the bill. Now, my ex 
knows my phone number and address. Does he make the attempt to contact his 
son? no. So, He has been flakey. I do not want him to mess around in his 
sons life. Termination of parental rights is an option for me now. He has 
until April 4th to make contact or start paying child support.

-----Original Message----- 
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 12:59 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

Hi.  The other thing to remember is, medication is not the enemy.  Do some
parents rely on pills as a quick fix and not try to look for other ways to
help their kids?  Definitely.  But some kids really do need medications to
get them to the point where they can even function enough to focus on other
methods.  When my stepson doesn't take his medication, he's out of control,
and life is miserable for everybody around him at home and at school.  When
he does take his medication, he's able to focus better on anger management,
self-control, and talking about feelings and consequences.  He isn't doped
up, and the pills aren't the only tool we use.  But they're definitely a
necessary part of the plan.

Jo Elizabeth

"Some people see things as they are and ask why.  I dream things that never
were and ask why not."--Robert F. Kennedy

--------------------------------------------------
From: "PICKRELL, REBECCA M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 11:40 AM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

> Nicky,
> If you think spending more time with him will help, then do that.
> Also, know that doctors can prescribe drugs, but you do not have to 
> administer them. If you want to get him tested, it is your right and duty 
> as his mom to do that. You can always choose not to medicate and look at 
> behavior options that may work. Or you can do a combination of both.
> I'll ask again where his dad is and where his grandparents on that side of 
> the family are? Sounds like your mom and dad gave you their oppinion which 
> you are free to discount. Get some other perspectives including the 
> medical community's.
>
> Also, check into the qualifications of your Christian councelor. I say 
> this as this person may not be trained in counceling. They may be a great 
> Christian but lack the counceling skill set. If you don't see any results, 
> you are free to find somebody else.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 12:17 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
>
>    Hi Sharon,
>
> I took one of your courses about 6 or 7 years ago. I also emailed you 
> about
> this and am very surprised to get a message from you here. Very cool.
>
> I did however, suggest some kind of testing or counseling. It seems like 
> my
> dad's logic of spanking will do the trick. Spanking to me is last on my 
> list
> if at all. When I mentioned the counseling or testing, my mom, being in 
> the
> medical proffession, formed a question that upset me. She asked, do you
> really want doctors to perscribe him medicine to take for ADD or whatever 
> it
> could be? Because that's what they'll do. My dad agreed and said, I'd 
> rather
> see him spanked more. Now, I'm not getting him tested so they can pump him
> with drugs. I really don't believe in giving medicine to a child will fix
> their behavior. I believe if I just spent more time with him, engaging in
> his activity, things would be fine.
>
> I'm currently seeing a christian counselor for family issues, one topic
> being this very one. I just started last month and don't see her very 
> often
> so I can't say it's halping yet. Thanks for your input.
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: sharon howerton
> Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 6:24 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
>
> Nikki, perhaps others have responded to you by now. If your son is in 
> school
> and experiencing similar problems, you might ask for an assessment for
> counselling or ADHD. Just like you are experiencing stress, he is, too, 
> but
> doesn't have the same verbal outlets adults do. You may also try to locate
> counselling services for yourself as it sounds like you have stresses, 
> too.
> Those transmit to our kids and may contribute to the acting out behavior
> you've described.
> Good luck.
> Sharon (whose sons are grown but still live at home; I also am an 
> instructor
> with the Hadley School and teach our Parenting series)
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at comcast.net>
> To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 10:26 PM
> Subject: [blparent] troubled parent
>
>
>>        Nikki here and very distressed. Divorced mother of a 5 year old
>> boy. Live with parents, ugh!
>>
>> I need behavioral modifacations other than spanking. He doesn’t listen
>> well, follow directions, stay focused, and talks when he’s not supposed
>> to.
>>
>> Wanting to stay away from spanking for punishment. Anyone have any advice
>> for me?
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>
>
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