[blparent] troubled parent

[Tammy]

Hi,

Have you always lived in your parent’s home, or is this something new or different?  It sounds like it’s a struggle just dealing with them, I know I couldn’t live with my parents now that I have children of my own!  It would drive me nuts, and probably my kids too!  But it sounds like you might need to find alternative arangements if your parents are constantly trying to undermine and over rule you as your son’s mother.  Unfortunately if they continue to do this, I doubt your son’s behaviour will improve, and definitely it won’t if your dad keeps threatening spankings all the time.  So you might want to try to find a new place to live, and just have your parents as grandparents to your little one.  

Just something to think about for whatever it’s worth

Tammy
From: Nikki 
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 11:46 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List 
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

     Well, he does go to church school. The last two times were not so good. 
He has trouble just sitting still listening, focusing his attention.

I feel going to my parents for their parental help is like going into a 
battlefield without armor. It's like my dad's way is the best logical way 
and other ways are ruled out. I can't live in my parents home and have their 
parental ways outrule mine. They seem to think spanking will solve the 
problem. He's not spanked enough. He is afraid to be spanked.

Another issue is that my dad confuses my son with his joking and teasing 
with seriousness. My mom tells him not to do that. IDK, I just have it 
rough, but easy.

-----Original Message----- 
From: PICKRELL, REBECCA M (TASC)
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 7:52 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

Totally agree wite time outdoors.
Also think you need to be clear to him in what he needs to do. I read your 
note and have no idea what it is you need him to do. What does "talking when 
he's not supposed to" mean? What about "not listening or following 
directions".
Seriously, you do need to be very clear to him in what he needs to do in a 
step by step way.
As for time out, I'm not sure it would work. Part of me thinks he just may 
need some cuddle time.
Time outs don't work with my kid. I'll put her stuff in time out as that 
does work. So if I need her to clean up her trains, and she won't then I'll 
say "Okay, they will go into time out" and if she still doesn't agree to 
clean them up or at least help me do so while being a pleasant human being, 
then I'll put them in time out for the rest of the day.
Finally, does your mom or dad have any insights? My parents are great at 
giving me some good perspective. Do you do any activities such as church? I 
ask because your son will be exposed to people who aren't getting paid to 
spend time with him. They may have some useful perspectives as well.


-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Chad Allen
Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 11:45 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

My suggestion is to be diligent on having time outdoors every day. Find 
something, even if it’s the same thing daily that involves the outdoors. I 
have n eight month old so its very different but I notice that if I keep him 
indoors for too long, he gets edgy. We hike, we walk, we shop, something to 
change his environment and it usually immediately helps.

I bet it will be good for you too. Stay strong and good luck.

Chad


-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 8:27 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] troubled parent

        Nikki here and very distressed. Divorced mother of a 5 year old boy. 
Live with parents, ugh!

I need behavioral modifacations other than spanking. He doesn’t listen well, 
follow directions, stay focused, and talks when he’s not supposed to.

Wanting to stay away from spanking for punishment. Anyone have any advice 
for me?
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