[blparent] troubled parent

Fri Mar 25 20:09:45 UTC 2011

    Illinois, mid west, suburb of Chicago... I'm not sure of any support 
groups in my area involving divorced parents. I wouldn't know where to look 
or ask if I was interested. There is one person I can think of, my lawyer? 
Hmm... trying to get involved is so hard to do... it seems like there is no 
time to do much of anything these days. Either that or I'm just slow, haha

-----Original Message----- 
From: jill
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 2:25 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

What area are you from? Are their any support groups locally?  I live in
Alabama and transportation is a issue in our state, but there are support
groups around for divorced parents and the like.
Jill

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 7:35 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

    I lived in my parents home up until I, realizing the bad choices I've
made, moved to start a life. I ended up moving back home because my ex was
overwhelmed and too much of a coward to handle me, being blind, a tyrant
little boy, and life, the economy crumbling.

Life here is simple, but not easy. I have issues inside myself that I'm
going to counseling for.

But you see, when my parents came to get us and our stuff and move, my dad
kind of acted as a daddy, something my son didn't really get from my ex. So
my dad jumped in the battlefield and complains that he didn't sign yp for
the duty he made the choice to do.

-----Original Message----- 
From: Tammy
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 4:01 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

Hi,

Have you always lived in your parent's home, or is this something new or
different?  It sounds like it's a struggle just dealing with them, I know I
couldn't live with my parents now that I have children of my own!  It would
drive me nuts, and probably my kids too!  But it sounds like you might need
to find alternative arangements if your parents are constantly trying to
undermine and over rule you as your son's mother.  Unfortunately if they
continue to do this, I doubt your son's behaviour will improve, and
definitely it won't if your dad keeps threatening spankings all the time.
So you might want to try to find a new place to live, and just have your
parents as grandparents to your little one.

Just something to think about for whatever it's worth

Tammy
From: Nikki
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 11:46 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

     Well, he does go to church school. The last two times were not so good.
He has trouble just sitting still listening, focusing his attention.

I feel going to my parents for their parental help is like going into a
battlefield without armor. It's like my dad's way is the best logical way
and other ways are ruled out. I can't live in my parents home and have their
parental ways outrule mine. They seem to think spanking will solve the
problem. He's not spanked enough. He is afraid to be spanked.

Another issue is that my dad confuses my son with his joking and teasing
with seriousness. My mom tells him not to do that. IDK, I just have it
rough, but easy.

-----Original Message----- 
From: PICKRELL, REBECCA M (TASC)
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 7:52 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

Totally agree wite time outdoors.
Also think you need to be clear to him in what he needs to do. I read your
note and have no idea what it is you need him to do. What does "talking when
he's not supposed to" mean? What about "not listening or following
directions".
Seriously, you do need to be very clear to him in what he needs to do in a
step by step way.
As for time out, I'm not sure it would work. Part of me thinks he just may
need some cuddle time.
Time outs don't work with my kid. I'll put her stuff in time out as that
does work. So if I need her to clean up her trains, and she won't then I'll
say "Okay, they will go into time out" and if she still doesn't agree to
clean them up or at least help me do so while being a pleasant human being,
then I'll put them in time out for the rest of the day.
Finally, does your mom or dad have any insights? My parents are great at
giving me some good perspective. Do you do any activities such as church? I
ask because your son will be exposed to people who aren't getting paid to
spend time with him. They may have some useful perspectives as well.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Chad Allen
Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 11:45 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

My suggestion is to be diligent on having time outdoors every day. Find
something, even if it's the same thing daily that involves the outdoors. I
have n eight month old so its very different but I notice that if I keep him
indoors for too long, he gets edgy. We hike, we walk, we shop, something to
change his environment and it usually immediately helps.

I bet it will be good for you too. Stay strong and good luck.

Chad

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 8:27 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] troubled parent

        Nikki here and very distressed. Divorced mother of a 5 year old boy.
Live with parents, ugh!

I need behavioral modifacations other than spanking. He doesn't listen well,
follow directions, stay focused, and talks when he's not supposed to.

Wanting to stay away from spanking for punishment. Anyone have any advice
for me?
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