[blparent] was troubled parent, now apologizing
Veronica Smith
madison_tewe at spinn.net
Tue Mar 29 21:59:15 UTC 2011
So one thing my husband always says about email and the like, we cannot hear the tone of someone's voice, thus we have no idea what or how they really meant to say something. Each and everytime I read a message and think that it sounded out of line, I remind myself of just that. I can't hear her tone and perhaps she didn't mean it any other way but nicely. Give her the benefit of the doubt.
I too missed the part where Nikki said her son was ill. I too gave outdoor ideas.
Veronica
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Tammy
Sent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 9:28 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Hi,
You are absolutely right, and I have appologized to her for my message.
Tammy
From: Brandy W
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 10:18 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
I'm not a moderator, but saying someone has no idea how to entertain their child is quite rude and judgmental. She asked for ideas because he is sick, and if you have read her other posts she does quite a few things with him, and is looking for more ideas not condescending answers.
Now when kids are sick we tend to read good books, play quite games, talk, watch TV, draw, your more quiet activities, and I follow their lead. Kids tend to feel better in spurts.
Bran
"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers." ~Charles W. Eliot,
Brandy Wojcik Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team leader
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-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Tammy
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 7:58 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Hi,
What kinds of things does he like to do? What have you done with him up until now? It sounds like you really have no idea how to keep him entertained, but he’s 5 isn’t he? Take him to the park, or a children’s museum, or swimming, or an in door or outdoor playground. Read with him, talk to him, play games with him, board games, card games, physical games like throwing a ball back and forth, or riding a bike. Does he have any friends in your parents neighbourhood that he can play with? I hate going to the zoo, but my kids both love animals, so we go, either there, or a farm, or petting zoo, or even the petstore, or animal shelter to play with the cats or dogs.
hth
Tammy
From: Nikki
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 5:30 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Just a slight update... I have contacted the private school of my choice and just received word that financial aid is due by April 1st. So, I'm now running ragged... Incase you didn't catch the latest, there's a counselor that has been sitting in class and watching his behavior. A letter came to the house suggesting a meeting. That's not gonna happen until the 12th. Now, I'm going to request testing regardless if he's gonna attend the gifted school or not.
This week is his spring break and the poor thing is feeling sick. He spent the day at his cousin's yesterday. What kind of fun things could I do with him other than sitting in front of the TV? Any ideas?
-----Original Message-----
From: Veronica Smith
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 3:53 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Great!
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 3:51 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
I think I'm already there.
-----Original Message-----
From: Veronica Smith
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 4:20 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
You will find the info on the NFB site, it is listed as adviceandsupportforblindcooks or something like that. Dave Andrews is also the moderator there.
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Saturday, March 26, 2011 12:55 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
No, sorry. Recipe group? How do I get involved? Very interested.
-----Original Message-----
From: Veronica Smith
Sent: Saturday, March 26, 2011 12:38 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Nikki, are you the same prson that is posting on the recipe group?
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 11:28 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Nosy? Ah, never. It's okay to be curious.
-----Original Message-----
From: Peggy
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 10:40 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
I hope you choose to keep us updated, would be interested to hear what they say, but I don't want you to think ... I'm to nosy!! *smile*
-----Original Message-----
From: Nikki
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 9:59 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
That's why I plan to ask that my son is tested academically. So then
we'll know for sure if the behavior is due to bordum and lack of challenged
learning. I've already inquired about a private school, one that focuses on
gifted children. I really think his behavioral problems are half and half
right now.
-----Original Message-----
From: Peggy
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 7:55 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Sometimes it's the gifted children that can be hard to handle. My daughter
was in gifted classes from the time she started school until she graduated.
She could have even skipped a grade but she decided to wait until she was a
junior and then she graduated a year earlier than she was supposed to. Do
some research online though because it will tell you a lot about gifted kids
you wouldn't think of. Like they are very unorganized, and my daughter was
and still is. I can't remember now what other information I found out but
it really did help me to look it up and understand why she was doing things
she was doing. Also, acting out is a sign of bordom. Also watch for things
when he's older too because kids will act out to fit in with their peers,
they know they're smart, other kids know they're smart, but they want to fit
in by acting out or doing what the crowd's doing. YOu would think a gifted
child would be less work than one that needs a lot of help but that's not
always the case *smile*!! Good luck.
-----Original Message-----
From: Nikki
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 3:35 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Yeah, he loves to read. He is far advanced than what you described.
He knew his ABC's and 1 to 10 before preschool. He also knew his shapes and
colors before preschool. We would check out the I Spy books at the public
library and I recorded him saying what was being pointed at. He caught on
quick.
We've been having him read his bedtime stories to us. He's pretty good with
exclamations and questions. Knowing that when there's a comma in the
sentence, you pause. When he comes to a word that he's unfamiliar with or
says wrong or too quick for me to hear it, he's asked to spell the word so I
can help him sound out the word. He is working on those site words as well.
There's a game that I think we made up, but I'm not sure. You have to create
sentences using as many site words as you can. He knows them very well.
Sitting here thinking about this, makes me wonder if he really needs more of
a challenge for learning. Just this morning, I came to the breakfast table
and he was doing math with his papa. Figuring out how many fingers are in
the house. Same with toes. Then they added. He can count by 5's, 10's, do
the evens and odds... The boy can even tell time... it's amazing.
-----Original Message-----
From: jill
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 2:20 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
I have a six year old little boy. We play dominos and he was quick to catch
on to it, we also play uno, which helps with color and number recognition.
He is addicted to the wii, we joke with him that he is a wii-holic, and we
are going to send him to wii-hab! He has to read small books from school
each night. They are using their sight words such as: like, have, see, can
, go... he will spell the unfamiliar words to me and then we go back and
read the sentences together. Does your son like books? There is a lot of
good resources for Braille/ print books.
Jill
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 7:07 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
I was afraid of this question... I am ashamed to say not enough. Today,
after school, I took him outside. He rode his scooter while I walked. We
went around the block. Then I let him ride his bike up to the far corner,
cuz we're second house from the corner, back down to the house like three
times. It was cold. It was about dinner time and so we sat and watched a
little bit of TV until it was time to eat.
Um, I play tops with him. Sometimes I let him play my electric piano. We
play with the blocks and not so much his train set. He loves to play the
Wii. The only game I can play is bowling on Wii Sports. He likes to play all
the games.
We play Jenga. "Top It" or as you know it, War, with playing cards. IDK... I
get bored of the same repetitious things.
It's hard for me to do school work with him, writing. This kid is smarter
than I was at this age....
-----Original Message-----
From: Veronica Smith
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 6:10 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Nikki, what kind of things do you do with him. Play dates? Fun time?
Together time?
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 9:28 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
OMG! He has it bad. We've tried talking to him, reminding him of
consequences,
but it doesn't seem to do justice. Yes, he goes to Kindergarten for 2 1/2
hours everyday. He only goes for half a day because he's very smart. The
teacher has to warn him more often than other kids. He's your regular bouncy
ball. The teacher gave him a special chair to sit in because he can't sit
still. Doesn't seem to be working. My dad, his papa, said that he should sit
in one of our wooden chairs quietly all day or unless he's at school. He
also said that if this doesn't change his behavior, he's going to fulfill
his threats on spanking.
Hi,
OH sorry to hear about his dad. As to the time outs,It might drive him nuts
to have to sit still for 5 minutes, and that might just be the insentive he
needs to behave. Does he go to school at all? I know that when my son
started school his whole attitude changed because he was more stimulated at
school, so he was tired when he came home. He's one of those never sit down
kids too, and nothing else worked except the time outs for him because of
that. He hates not being part of the action all the time, so he behaves
better when we remind him what happens when he doesn't.
Tammy
From: Nikki
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 12:15 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
His daddy abandoned him. He doesn't call or write. Time out, huh? Well,
I don't think it would work with my gremlin. He can't sit still. He's gotta
be constantly moving and that's trouble for me because I fatigue easily.
-----Original Message-----
From: Tammy
Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 10:50 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
Hi,
Have you tried time outs? My son is 6 and they work well for us. Your son
sounds like mine, that is to say that what you describe sounds very typical
of children of that age group. Also, you say you're divorced, and I don't
mean to get too personal, but does your son's behaviour esculate around
visits from or to his father'? If so, this might be a trigger, and you may
want to talk to your son about how he feels about being with his dad, verses
being with you. Don't make it stressful for him, but just talk to him about
his favourite things at both places, and whatever you do, don't say anything
negative about his father, even though that's very hard at times. He may be
confused about why he has to go back and forth, or even why you're living
with your parents. You never know what little kids are thinking and talking
to them can open doors for the two of you that will allow for bonding, and a
closer relationship. I don't know if any of this will help, but I'm
divorced from my son's father, and he has a step-father now, but it's been a
bumpy road for him. This may not be the case for you, but talking and
timeouts might just help smooth the bumps a little.
hth
Tammy
From: Nikki
Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 11:26 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] troubled parent
Nikki here and very distressed. Divorced mother of a 5 year old boy.
Live with parents, ugh!
I need behavioral modifacations other than spanking. He doesn't listen well,
follow directions, stay focused, and talks when he's not supposed to.
Wanting to stay away from spanking for punishment. Anyone have any advice
for me?
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