[blparent] An article my husband sent me

[Veronica Smith]

I don't make my kids eat things they don't like - and other lapses of a
"good enough" mom

By Kyran Pittman

 

I've always loved that quote from the Earl of Rochester: "Before I got
married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six
children, and no theories." I didn't have any theories about parenting
before I actually became a parent myself; I had rigid, nonnegotiable
certainties. Mercifully, I'm a quick study - it took only three children to
kick me off my high horse regarding the kind of mother I set out to be. That
is, a perfect one. A few of the innumerable ways in which I've (happily)
fallen short:


*	Sometimes I nod and make noises like I am listening to my kids when
I am not. Especially before 9 A.M. 
*	I gave up on giving daily baths - or getting them - after the second
baby was born. 
*	I don't have a one-bite rule; a peanut butter sandwich is always on
the menu; and I could never send a child to bed hungry. 
*	I like to be near my kids when they're playing or doing schoolwork,
but I don't really want to join in (unless they need me). 
*	There are days when I'm the one asking if it's time to watch
television yet. 
*	I forgot to bring my picky-eating fourth grader his lunch today
(again), and he had to get a cafeteria tray. He'll at least eat the cookie.
As long as it doesn't have nuts, raisins, crunchy bits, or unfamiliar
specks. 
*	I'm not a "baby" person. I couldn't wait for them to be old enough
to have conversations and play board games with me. 
*	On more than one occasion, I've forgotten to pick up a child on
time. My youngest still brings up "that day you forgot about me." 
*	I readily admit: Playgroup was really for the mommies. 
*	I am neither organized enough nor solvent enough to pay a regular
allowance, but sometimes I resort to bribery. I am fully prepared to
negotiate with the terrorists. 
*	At one time or another, I've fallen back on tactics I swore I would
never use on my children, including guilt, yelling, and threats to call the
North Pole. 
*	In 12 years of parenting, I've never spanked, but I do remind them
it's strictly a "one day at a time" abstinence program. 
*	Our tooth fairy is notoriously unreliable. 
*	Sometimes I just vacuum up the LEGOs.

Glad that's off my chest. May I have my breakfast in bed now?



Kyran Pittman lives in Little Rock, AR, and she blogs at
plantingdandelions.com/blog <http://www.plantingdandelions.com/blog> . She
is also the author of, Planting Dandelions: Field Notes from a
Semi-Domesticated Life.