[blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone? (questionforBlindParent list)

Peggy pshald at neb.rr.com
Thu May 26 14:07:56 UTC 2011 

Oh she will, my son loves to play with other kids but can entertain himself 
also.  It's great that she still wants to share with the other girls even 
though they didn't share with her, shows you that mommy's taught her some 
manners, great job!!



-----Original Message----- 
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 11:06 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone? 
(questionforBlindParent list)

Thanks.  Sarah, of her own idea, wants to take some suckers to share with
the other girls.  So I'll let her do that, but it's been chilly and rainy.
So we haven't seen the other kids out.  I took her out splashing in puddles
yesterday, and she loved it.  I love how social and excited she is about
other kids, but I hope she also keeps her ability to think of things to do
on her own.

Jo Elizabeth

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning,
unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into
advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com>
Sent: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 8:19 AM
To: "Deborah Kent Stein" <dkent5817 at att.net>; "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing
List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone? (question
forBlindParent list)

> It really is hard to fit in with the other sighted parents.  I do not have 
> a lot of friends amoung my kid's friend's parents.  I mean, you can 
> confront them, as some have suggested, but I'm not sure that's going to 
> work either. Could just make an already tense situation worse.  I'd keep 
> doing what you're doing, letting Sarah play with the kids, trying to 
> interact, and I'd bring snacks for everyone, maybe at least the other 
> girls will realize, hey that little girl shared her snacks, so we should 
> share ours as well.  I know it's hard being the excluded one but sometimes 
> you just can't change people's perceptions of blindness and if you become 
> too confrontational I'm afraid that these little girls won't be allowed to 
> play with Sarah anymore and she'd be hurt even more.  Reminds me of the 
> cliques in high school where you're the one left out, and it's not a good 
> feeling.  I don't know if people just don't think??  It's hard and good 
> luck, keep us updated on how things go.  Wonder if after time the parents 
> will loosen up??  Hard to tell.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Deborah Kent Stein
> Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 5:45 PM
> To: Multiple recipients of NFBnet blparent Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone? (question for 
> BlindParent list)
>
>
> Jo Elizabeth asked me to post this as she's having problems with her email 
> account.
>
> ______
>
>
> Hi.  I've had an interesting question come up as my daughter has gotten 
> old enough that we can walk around the neighborhood and play with the 
> other kids.  There are a couple of families who live in the complex, one 
> with a child a few months older than Sarah, and one with a child a few 
> months younger, as well as some older girls.  Sarah likes to play with the 
> kids, who are often outside.  We've gone up there a couple of times, and 
> I've sat on the sidewalk with the other moms, occasionally enforcing the 
> rules about Sarah having to share and so on, but otherwise leaving her to 
> play.
>
> The first thing I noticed is that the other moms pretty much talk to each 
> other and don't include me in the conversation.  I'm somewhat of an 
> introvert, and also used to this, so I didn't do a whole lot about it at 
> first.  I just threw in a comment here or there, and they would answer 
> politely and then go on talking among themselves.  That bothered me a 
> little, but I let it roll off because Sarah had been enjoying the company 
> of the other kids.  Then, when I was there a few weeks ago, the moms and 
> their husbands were sitting around, and somebody brought out beers--for 
> everybody except me.  I'm not much of a drinker, so I didn't care, though 
> I would have loved a glass of water.  But it struck me as odd that I 
> wasn't offered anything.
>
> So then the final straw was this morning.  The girls were out playing with 
> Barbie things on the sidewalk, so Sarah asked nicely if she could join 
> them. She did a great job of sharing all morning, I was proud of her. Then 
> the girls went into their houses to get snacks.  They brought out chips 
> and wouldn't give any to Sarah, even though she asked politely.  She 
> cried, and one of the moms called out the window to see what she was 
> crying for.  So I said we had to go home and have lunch, and of course, 
> Sarah was upset and didn't want to leave.
>
> So what's the deal?  I'm really appalled.  I wouldn't even consider giving 
> my kid or myself drinks or snacks when others were over without offering 
> them any.  And if Sarah had something to eat, I would insist that she 
> would share.  So am I hopelessly old-fashioned, or is there a real problem 
> with the rest of the world?  And what should I do?  Should I keep Sarah 
> away from the little girls, even though she enjoys playing with them? 
> Should I take the lack of interaction from the moms as a sign that we 
> aren't really wanted there?  Or should I just chalk it up to them being 
> nervous about my blindness and keep on appearing over there till they get 
> relaxed?  Should I bring drinks and snacks for myself and Sarah, or bring 
> them for everybody? I'm just really troubled and at a loss.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning, 
> unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into 
> advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt
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