[blparent] stranger contact with your child

Wed Nov 2 14:27:10 UTC 2011

Hello Tammy,
I really appreciate this perspective.  I have never thought of it that way,
and I will definitely think about it the next time someone says what a huge
help my kids must be to me.  You're expecting another baby soon, right?  I
hope all is going well.
Melissa

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Tammy
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2011 12:07 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child

Hi,

Totally agree with this.  My children are more help to me than they'll ever 
know.  Colyn's taught me about planes and trains and all things with wheels,

and Remus loves animals of all kinds, even the grose ones.  They're ability 
to cheer me up even when I'm having the crappiest of days is limitless. 
With them around, I'm never bored because they can always create things we 
can do.  My husband is going through a bout of the disease he has been 
battling for 17 years, and our children provide him the will to keep 
fighting the thing back into remission.  So while there are two ways to 
think about it when somebody makes the comment, "Oh, he or she must be a 
huge help to you," I prefer to think of it less negatively and just agree, 
because it's more true than not.  Let them make up their minds about what 
you mean.

Tammy

-----Original Message----- 
From: Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2011 11:22 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child

My daughter loves to help or be involved in what I'm doing. It would upset 
her greatly if I brushed off the "She must be such a help to you" comments. 
Before she could understand language, it probably wouldn't have mattered. 
Now though, it would break her heart if she heard me blow off her 
helpfulness.

Our children offer a lot.  My daughter has gotten me to care about dolphins 
and whales.  I honestly didn't give a rat's behind about either one until 
she became interested.  She likes it when I explain math to her. She 
understands that sometimes a girl just needs a cute dress and pair of shoes.

She was a huge comfort when our dog died, more so then my husband.  She and 
I share a passion for avaiation. She has gotten me interested in racecars 
Her kindness and level of awareness of people and situations has at times 
blown my mind.
When I get the "she must help you a lot" comments, my response is to give 
her a hug and kiss and say "She sure does".
If somebody is interested in more dtails or needs to know more, I'll 
explain.

I really don't much care what a random person thinks. I care far more that 
my daughter knows I appreciate and value her.  We all need to feel that.  My

problem with this thread is that it belittles the contributions our children

do make.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Brandy W
Sent: Saturday, October 22, 2011 9:14 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child

When people say that too me they get something along the lines of yup just
as much help as your 2 year old is to you." I'm the adult he is the toddler.
they usually stop and think at that point. I have some other responses, but
this one works the best.

"When we treat children's play as seriously as it deserves, we are helping
them feel the joy that's to be found in the creative spirit. It's the things
we play with and the people who help us play that make a great difference in
our lives."
- Fred Rogers

Brandy Wojcik
Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team Leader
www.playtoachieve.com
(512) 689-5045

Looking for team members nation wide!
----- Original Message -----
From: "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, October 22, 2011 6:58 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child

>I think this is still because blindness makes the public uncomfortable but
>our children don't.  I guess I'm lucky, although people have interacted
>with my children while I've been out it's been nothing that I don't see
>them do with sighted parents and their children.  But I guess just pay
>close attention and if the displays get uncomfortable for you then say
>something!! What always amazed me is how people would say things like ...
>oh I bet you are such a help to your mom, I could see it when the kids were
>older but just a couple days ago someone said it to Dylan *he's 1 and a
>half*.  Oh yeah he's such a help, messing things up faster than I can get
>them cleaned up, lol.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: jan wright
> Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2011 1:25 PM
> To: blparent
> Subject: [blparent] stranger contact with your child
>
> This is annoying, i'll admit. I was not jealous that they could see my
> children's facial expressions and I couldn't.
> It is annoying because it is the start of people communicating with
> your baby or child without your knowledge and I would caution that you
> do need to be a little careful.
> Sometimes, people can take liberties with your child.
> the thing that annoys me most in this stage is that people don't even
> give you a respectful: "Oh,  you have a cute baby, do you mind?" They
> just assume that you don't mind. Note: they do some of the same things
> with my dog and it bothers me, also. I think that it is just
> respectful to talk to the adult first. And, the more I think about it
> the more i am convinced that it is just plain rude!
> When my children were older, people would give them candy that I did
> not want them to have; or toys to play with that were sometimes
> inappropriate. They would try to comfort or quiet your child and
> sometimes they were doing much more harm than good.
> I hate to be the web blanket in this discussion: but, these are the
> same adults who would rather talk to your child or your dog before
> having a conversation with you. I always found it strange that after I
> got my dog (and my children were teens) I experienced the same
> reaction from people. They would say to my children: "You are so
> sweet," "You are such a good baby," (and much more annoying comments).
> And, now that I have the dog, they want to talk to the dog: "You are
> such a good boy." GRRRR! And, I know that I am going to experience
> more of the same when I have my baby boy (seven more weeks until the
> due date).
> it is strange, though. It is harder to ward off unwanted behaviors
> from the sighted public and also harder to connect with them when we
> want to. UGGG.
>
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>
>
>
> I don't have time to hate people who hate me because I'm too busy loving
> people who love me.
>
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