[blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

[Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)]

This post implies like other adults were present? Wonder why they didn't get off their dead a**es and help?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Sheila Leigland
Sent: Thursday, October 27, 2011 9:47 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

That is a great post. I believe you are right in that a baby can't be overheld or overloved or spoiled. I was told that my son neededd to be alone and even if he woke up that I should eat first and have him wait he was only six months old. I said that was what a microwave oven was for so I would be glad to reheat my dinner. I walked in to the livingroom and picked up my child.

Sheila Leigland

-----Original Message-----
From: Erin Rumer <erinrumer at gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, October 27, 2011 2:42 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

Thanks for your comments Bridget, like you said we all have our own opinions
and parenting styles and I'm thankful for parents like you because you help
me build a stronger back bone toward my beliefs of how I'm raising Dawson
and being more confident that what I'm doing is right for him.  I used to
care more what people thought, and then I realized that there's a lot of
unsound advice out there and I need to do what I know is right for Dawson in
my heart.  I agree that we can share wisdom with one another and I really
recommend a book call "The No Cry Solution" and anything from Dr. Sears.
Babies cry and it's there only way to communicate with us.  If we ignore
that then we are telling our child that we will not be there for them when
they need us.  Children Dawson's age don't have the ability to manipulate
like an adult can and that's where a lot of parents make mistakes in
thinking that their child's cries are manipulative tactics to "get at their
parents".  The sooner a child learns that their needs are going to be met,
the more confident and secure that child is going to be and the less
manipulative they're actually going to have to be as they get older because
their needs are being met.  A child that has to worry about whether or not
their parent is going to be there for them or not is spending precious
energy on just surviving in getting their basic needs met and not focusing
on learning and just being a fun loving kid.  I see this in my everyday life
with Dawson.  When he cries, I go to him and take care of him and he stops
crying immediately.  He is calm and confident in nearly every situation in
our day-to-day life which tells me I'm doing the right thing.  I know that a
lot of this could be personality as well, but my parenting methods are only
fostering this behavior because I'm telling him that I'm there for him and
will nurture him always.

We live in a society that is so barbaric compared to other countries when it
comes to some of these topics.  We are a culture that makes teddy bears that
sing our children to sleep and have heart beat sounds just so we can avoid
holding and singing to our own babies.  We have cribs that rock our children
and bottle proper's to feed them all so we can avoid doing our parental
duties.  These tools are alright on a rare occasion, but some people use
them all the time.  My husband and some dear friends make sure I get some me
time so I definitely don't feel deprived in this category and now that I can
nurse Dawson on our bed that's on the floor and sneak away at night to get
some time to myself, it's even better.  Our attitude as parents needs to be,
how can I meet my child's needs while also meeting my own, rather than, my
kid's going to do what I want despite their needs and they'll adjust to
that.  Studies have shown across the board that the baby that is left to cry
it out stops crying eventually, not because they've learned to be a better
baby, but rather because they've begun to just give up and are very confused
and insecure about whether or not their parent is going to be there for them
when they need them.  I know some other parents who do the cry it out method
and I watch their children very closely during play group.  These are the
kids that are screaming louder and are much more disengaged with mom when it
comes to relaxing and having fun time because they're more concerned with
getting their basic needs met.  I guess the best way I can describe it is
that these are the children that seem much more stressed out compared to
their peers.

You cannot spoil a baby with love and affection and when Dawson grows up to
be a confident, secure man because his needs were met growing up and he was
allowed to be a baby, then my hard work as a mom will shine at its
brightest.  I'm going to make mistakes like everyone, but holding my child
when he cries and going to him when he needs me is something I know in my
heart is a good thing I'm doing for him.  I'm teaching Dawson how to be not
only a good person, but also a good daddy and husband in the future.  I pray
that I get the opportunity to watch Dawson comfort his babies and laugh and
play with them because that will be one of the most wonderful gifts a parent
could get from their child.

Food for thought,

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 5:09 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

Well, looks like I'm going to be the bitch here. LOL Though it's great to
see our kids grow up and become perceptive and aware, you're letting Dawson
have the upperhand. He's not only aware of your intention, he's made the
connection that certain behavior will get him what he wants- out of the crib
and freedom to either stay awake or roam your room at his leisure. It's not
processed quite this intelligently, but on a basic level, he knows what the
situation is and how to respond. You're basically catering to his whims now
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