[blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
Erin Rumer
erinrumer at gmail.com
Wed Nov 9 20:31:21 UTC 2011
I think we need to be careful not to read too much into these kinds of
things. My parents could get away with certain things with my sighted
siblings that they couldn't with me and my sighted siblings aren't bitter
with them for that at all. We were all treated equally but my parents were
smart and new what things they could do with each of us as individuals. For
example, my sighted younger sister is not very observant so my mom new she
could sneak veggies into the meatloaf right in front of her because she
probably wouldn't even be paying attention. With me however, I could smell
the veggies from a mile away and new right away my mom was using them in the
meat loaf which I loved, but you get the point. Heck, there's things I do
in front of my sighted husband that he's unaware of, like give him decaf
coffee instead of the real stuff because I know it's better for him and he's
addicted to having too much caffeine at night. It's a win-win because he
feels more awake since he thinks he got the leaded stuff and I know I'm
helping his health.
Erin
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Marla Wertman
Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:50 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
I think as blind adults though we need to be careful about this. I know it
is just something as simple is buying a birthday present with blind child
right there, and it's easy to get away with because they can't see it, but I
see it is taking advantage of the fact that they can't see. To me that is
close to lying.Maybe I'm not explaining this right, but my parents never did
things like this to me. I was treated just like my sighted brother, because
they wanted me to grow up as normal is possible.
On Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:43:36 -0700
"Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com> wrote:
> Oh, let me tell you that I was an observant little thing but my mom
> new just the ways to distract me to keep my mind off what was going in
> the cart when I was young enough. It probably helped a ton that I
> have always been super sociable and chatting with her and others in
> the store was way more fun than items being pulled off the shelves.
> Obviously this was easier than if I had sight and could see exactly what
was going into the cart.
>
> Erin
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:25 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
> Thank you for this.
> I may disagree with you that a child who is blind would be unaware of
> stuff longer, that sure didn't work with me from what my parents tell
> me That may depend on the child/person though, some of us just like to
> observe and pay attention and there are many ways to do this without being
obvious about it.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:18 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
> Rebecca, I totally agree with what you're saying but please let me
> clarify since we're talking about two different things. I'm referring
> to parents cutting corners with kids young enough to be totally
> unaware of what's going on. Naturally, this would last a little
> longer with a blind child because the parent has the advantage of the
> kid not being able to see what's in the cart. I guess why it really
> didn't bother me was because I didn't know it was happening since I
> was young enough and didn't find out that my folks were doing this
> until I was much older. My folks didn't do this with me as an older
> child and I think that's where the difference lies. It's like getting
> something for your baby because they're a baby and don't know the
> difference and no one would think any different about cutting that
> corner and that's all I mean. If you're old enough to be aware of it
> happening and parents are still doing it then that is wrong for sure.
> When it came to wrapping the gifts my mom had me help her with
> wrapping everyone's gifts for years before I even thought about my own
> gifts being placed into my own little paws which was always a very
> special privilege that the other kids didn't get. When I was getting
> older and came across one that I felt might be mine my mom would say,
> "You don't want to spoil your fun for Christmas do you?" and I smiled
> sheepishly and continued wrapping since it was such a fun thing to
> share with mom and didn't bother me. If my mom saw at all that I was
> bothered by this and felt taken advantage of then she would have
> stopped for sure. Every kid's different as we all know and some things
bother one that don't bother another and that's where it's important to be
receptive parents and treat each kid as an individuals.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Erin
>
> As far as kids finding gifts in hidden places goes, I'd just do what
> my parents would do which was tell me that Santa can't store
> everything for all the children in the world at the North Pole and so
> they have parents store some gifts ahead of time to help him out.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 11:38 AM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
> It matters if it hurts the person who is having the corners cut.
> I don't recall my parents doing this, they went to great lengths to
> keep stuff a surprise which I do appreciate.
> Cutting corners is say, skipping a bath or having PB&J for supper
> every now and then.
> Would you feel this way if somebody planned a party for you and said
> "f*** it, I didn't decorate because I knew you couldn't see it"? Or "I
> could have gotten you a really neat kick with something you love on
> it, but since you can't see it, I just picked one up at Giant?"
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 1:07 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
> My parents got my gifts with me there at the store as well and I've
> got to say I don't blame them. It's enough work to try and shop and
> organize holiday details so why not cut corners where you can. Heck,
> I'd do it if my kid was blind! SMILING My mom would even have me wrap
> some of my gifts if they were in unidentifiable boxes which killed me
> and made me laugh all at the same time. With Dawson I'm going to take
> a trick from my mother-in-law and wrap the gifts inside other things
> that are totally different shapes from the actual gifts. For example,
> taking a old blanket that's not being used and wrapping something
> smaller inside of that or hiding a gift inside a big ball of
> newspaper. It doesn't have to be pretty, just has to do the trick.
>
> Erin
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Lisamaria Martinez
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 10:30 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
> You know, my parents wrapped my gifts in front of me too. In fact,
> they'd shop for them in front of me. I thought it was rude and totally
> unfair to do that just because I couldn't see.
>
> LM
>
> On 11/9/11, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
> > Hi. For any of you moms who have little ones starting to run around
> > and get into things, I thought I'd warn you about something I just
> > learned the hard way. *Smile.* They'll see everything, especially
> > what you don't want them to, and they'll remember. They're smarter
> > than
> we give them credit for.
> >
> > I bought Sarah the Little People school bus because she's really
> > into buses and planes and the like right now. The package came from
> > Amazon while she was at preschool about a month ago, and I threw the
> > boxes in the recycling bin and hid the toy at the top of my closet,
> > thinking I was
> pretty slick.
> > Well, she saw part of a picture on one box sticking out of the bin.
> > She asked about it, and I glossed over it. We moved on, and I
> > thought she'd forgotten about the bus.
> >
> > So this morning, I went to get a shirt from the closet, and Sarah
> > wandered in behind me. All at once, she started jumping up and
> > down, saying, "I see it! Up there! The bus toy really is here! I
> > want that
> bus toy!"
> >
> > I guess I didn't hide it well enough. She saw the box peeking out
> > from under a blanket on a high shelf and remembered the picture from
> > the recycling bin. She had a bit of a meltdown because she knew the
> > toy was there, but I wouldn't get it off the shelf for her. I
> > couldn't really explain why, either. Now Santa Claus can't bring
> > that toy to her, either, because it'll blow his cover. I'll have to
> > give it to her from Mom and Dad, or maybe from her brother Stephen.
> > Anyway, my point is, when I was a kid, my family could (and did)
> > wrap my presents right in front of me. But obviously, blind parents
> > of sighted kids have to be very careful about these things.
> >
> > Jo Elizabeth
> >
> > "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
> > compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and
> > tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you
> > will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943,
> > American scientist _______________________________________________
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> >
>
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Marla Wertman
Avon representative
http://www.youravon.com/mwertman
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