[blparent] parental deception

[Veronica Smith]

I agree 100 percent.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of jan wright
Sent: Thursday, November 10, 2011 7:51 AM
To: blparent
Subject: [blparent] parental deception

Rebecca asked if you would feel the same if a parent said something like:
"I would have done more, but since you can't see it...."
My mother use to buy me clothes when I was a teen. She would buy me
the most old-fashioned things. I would get teased at school for
bell-bottom pants. the thing is: some people would not have minded
wearing them and some would. I did. My sisters finally stepped in and
said: "no, you would not want to wear that."  I have had sighted
people tell me:
"Well, my house is a mess, but I feel better since you can't see it."
I tried to tell them that there are other ways to know about their
house, it just does not register.
Or they might say: "If you could see my hair, you would be embarrassed
to be with me."
They think that we would have different standards, if we were sighted.
Maybe we would, but maybe we wouldn't. When people decide not to make
as much effort about something, because they think that we are blind
and therefore we either don't care or won't know, then, we have to
decide whether it is offensive. If a person decides to throw me a
party and doesn't do lots of visual decorating, that is fine with me.
But, maybe they have some tactile decorations (just a few) and maybe
they make sure that the music is to my liking and the food... you get
my point.

At the same time, i would not want them to just hand me any old dress
to wear because they thought that I would not care about how I look.

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