[blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

Thu Oct 27 03:11:59 UTC 2011

I can not stand to have our kids in bed with us. Any of them. My wife and I
have gotten in to fights about the co-sleeping thing. We have our bed, and
the kid has their bed. I do not sleep in their bed, they do not need to
sleep in mine.
The only time I approve of it is when the kid is sick, and is having a rough
night.

Our 5 and 3 year olds are some of the best sleepers when comparing to other
kids of that age. Our 16 month is about average.

Last April, there was a little girl killed in her parents' bed, even in my
small little town.

Just another man's thought on it, I guess it confirms the suspicion about
guys not liking it.

Michael

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 21:25
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

It's interesting to me that a fair number of men seem to discourage
co-sleeping.  Maybe there are a lot who don't, I don't know.  I probably
would have tried co-sleeping with Sarah, but Dad wanted no part of that. 
Now I'm kind of glad I didn't.  Sarah learned to sleep independently, except
for a few rough spots here and there, and now she stays in bed and wakes me
in the morning when she's hungry.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 7:53 PM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

> Gab slept with us now and then until it started becoming more 
> frequent, mostly cause  mommy was too tired.  But dad put a stop to 
> that and like I said, everyone seemed to sleep better.  Gab started 
> sleeping about 11 to
> 13
> hours straight which terrified me at first, but the Dr said that was 
> typical of a child. When she did that, at first, I needed tyo wake her 
> to nurse, then my milk adjusted.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Chad Allen
> Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 6:37 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler
>
> I strongly discouraged my wife from co-sleeping at an early age. I had 
> no problems with the cradle being in the room but once Harrison went 
> from cradle to crib, I worked very hard at not having us co-sleep.
>
> First, I'm a deep sleeper so when Harrison was little, I was concerned 
> that I might roll over on him without knowing. Many books reinforced 
> my concerns so we avoided the habit at a young age.
>
> When my wife tried co-sleeping after some protest, no one slept and he 
> quickly returned to sleeping in his own crib after only a few nights.
>
> Now, Harrison sleeps from 9-11 hours in his bed and at 15 months, we 
> converted the crib to a bed. He sleeps in it and does not get out of 
> the bed until morning. We have the baby monitor on and we sleep with 
> it on and everything works out great.
>
> My wife is quite happy too because she knows her son is a big boy who 
> can sleep on his own and we all get the sleep we deserve.
>
> Hope this helps.
>
> Chad
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
> Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 5:09 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler
>
> Well, looks like I'm going to be the bitch here. LOL Though it's great 
> to see our kids grow up and become perceptive and aware, you're 
> letting Dawson have the upperhand. He's not only aware of your 
> intention, he's made the connection that certain behavior will get him 
> what he wants- out of the crib and freedom to either stay awake or 
> roam your room at his leisure. It's not processed quite this 
> intelligently, but on a basic level, he knows what the situation is 
> and how to respond. You're basically catering to his whims now.
>
> My sister did exactly what you're doing, and her kids to this day rule 
> the roost. They set their own bedtimes, eat when they want and know 
> how to manipulate the situation to get what they want. This was all 
> learned at an early age. The oldest at seven is still like this.
>
> Crying is a healthy, natural part of life. Crying doesn't mean they 
> are hurt or that you're a bad parent. Penny, at two-years-old, has to 
> cry it out for an hour at times before falling asleep. Usually she 
> just plays in her bed, but she does cry at times. Nothing will happen 
> to them when they cry though, and studies actually show it's healthy 
> for children, and adults, to just cry at times.
>
> No one is the perfect parent, and no one has all the answers. If you 
> can't accomplish chores or unwind though, there's a problem. And if 
> you're letting Dawson dictate all this, he's now dominating the 
> situation. Placing the matress on the floor is just the last straw in 
> my opinion. You want him to be safe and healthy, but to completely 
> uproot your schedule and life, this doesn't seem healthy.
>
> It won't kill Dawson or you if he cries and cries in his crib. 
> Children actually require limits and boundries regardless of how they 
> feel or what they say and do. Penny has taken to screaming like a 
> night owl when she wants her way. We've learned to ignore it even when 
> in public. Once she realizes this doesn't get her attention, or her 
> way, she stops. She will do it during naptime in her crib too. After 
> she realizes no one is coming to let her out though, she lays back down
and falls asleep.
>
> I know it's tough, and you enjoy the bonding aspect, but honey, that 
> kid is wrapping his little finger around you much too tight, and he 
> has all the cards in his hand. You think the crying-it-out method is 
> cruel and unpleasant, but in a few years, you won't find it so 
> pleasant when Dawson is always demanding his way and refusing to 
> listen to you. This doesn't mean he isn't a sweet heart, but he's 
> learning behavior at a young age that is ingraining certain behavior and
ideas that will stick.
>
> And you mention how much you enjoy the bonding aspect, but what about 
> Dawson? Not that he doesn't like mommy time, or isn't learning 
> anything from the bonding, but at this point, the bonding seems to be 
> more about how the experience is for you, and not about what is best for
Dawson.
> You need time apart from him to unwind, relax, do something just for 
> yourself, or spend valuable bonding time with your husband. This is 
> all just as important as bonding with Dawson. Neither one of you seems 
> better for this scenario; maybe trying something new should be 
> considered.
>
> And if Dawson is always sleeping with you, it won't be easy to have 
> another child! Smile.
>
> I realize numerous methods and ideas for parenting exist. This is my 
> opinion, and it's either to be taken or ignored. Do not interpret this 
> as me saying you're a bad parent either. We all make mistakes, and we 
> all just want the best for our children. I just think you've dug 
> yourself a hole that, if continueing, will be difficult to dig out of.
> Take control of the situation, and if Dawson has to cry, it won't kill 
> him. You need time for yourself and with your husband. This is my two 
> cents, and just an opinion. I have my own parenting issues to deal 
> with; we all do. But I've learned from this list that we can all offer 
> some wisdom, and we can learn from one another.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>
> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:11:53 -0700
> From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
> To: "NFB blind parent listserv" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [blparent] co-sleeping with toddler
> Message-ID: <002601cc9339$320be100$9623a300$@gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> Hello parents,
>
>
>
> I'd love to hear from those of you who chose to co-sleep with your 
> babies. My son Dawson who will be one years old on Halloween has been 
> co-sleeping with my husband and I since he was ten months old.  I 
> absolutely love the co-sleeping arrangement and in many ways wish I 
> had started it earlier.  The only snag that I'm finding is that Dawson 
> used to be able and go down in his crib for the first stretch of the 
> night which was a couple of hours and then by the time he woke-up I'd 
> be ready to go to bed or my husband would just bring him into me to
co-sleep.
> Now Dawson doesn't want to do the first stretch on his own and refuses 
> to go down without me.  I'm an early to bed person but now not having 
> that few hours on my own is difficult.  How do those of you with 
> co-sleeping toddlers usually start out your night?  I'm finding that 
> just letting Dawson play a little longer in my room with the TV on low 
> helps him start to calm for the night and then around 8:30 we can lay 
> down together with no stimulation noise or lights on and he'll fall 
> asleep quickly.  This isn't giving me any time to unwind for the night 
> though.  I'm still nursing Dawson so daddy putting him down to bed is 
> out of the question since he needs boob to fall asleep and that's not 
> a battle I want to start right now especially since breast feeding is 
> so special and something both Dawson and I love very much.  I'm 
> against cry it out methods and want sleep time to continue to be a 
> positive and pleasant experience for everyone.
>
>
>
> Thanks,
>
>
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