[blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

Thu Oct 27 14:29:50 UTC 2011

My daughter didn't go into a big girl bed till she was nearly three, either. 
We had tried when she was a year and a half or so, only because she learned 
to shimmy up the crib rail and dive out on her head with a terrifying thump. 
Maybe it was uncomfortable to land that way, but it was worth it to her to 
get her freedom, so we had to buy a mesh tent to put over the crib because I 
was afraid she was going to literally break her neck.  When we tried her in 
a big bed, though, she would just get up and cry at the door, or cry in the 
bed, or cry if we took her into our bed.  It was miserable for everybody. 
All kids are different.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of 
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of 
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
Sent: Thursday, October 27, 2011 6:01 AM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler

> Much of this depends on the dynamics of your family.
> I couldn't sleep well with husband and daughter in bed, yet there were and 
> still are nights when she and/or I need the human contact of cuddling. 
> Husband gets to camp out downstairs which he likes.
>
> If you didn't, this arangement wouldn't work.
>
> And sleeping on your own has nothing to do with being big or little. We 
> all need human contact. It's why people get married so they can fulfill 
> human needs that would in most cases be inappropriate to fulfill in any 
> other fashion.
> At 15 months, my daughter didn't havethe maturity to stay in a bed. She 
> didn't graduate until she was about three. The mental ability simply 
> wasn't there.
> She also hasn't graduated to a booster seat because the ability to stay 
> still just isn't present yet.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Chad Allen
> Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 8:37 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler
>
> I strongly discouraged my wife from co-sleeping at an early age. I had no
> problems with the cradle being in the room but once Harrison went from
> cradle to crib, I worked very hard at not having us co-sleep.
>
> First, I'm a deep sleeper so when Harrison was little, I was concerned 
> that
> I might roll over on him without knowing. Many books reinforced my 
> concerns
> so we avoided the habit at a young age.
>
> When my wife tried co-sleeping after some protest, no one slept and he
> quickly returned to sleeping in his own crib after only a few nights.
>
> Now, Harrison sleeps from 9-11 hours in his bed and at 15 months, we
> converted the crib to a bed. He sleeps in it and does not get out of the 
> bed
> until morning. We have the baby monitor on and we sleep with it on and
> everything works out great.
>
> My wife is quite happy too because she knows her son is a big boy who can
> sleep on his own and we all get the sleep we deserve.
>
> Hope this helps.
>
> Chad
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
> Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 5:09 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] Co-sleeping with toddler
>
> Well, looks like I'm going to be the bitch here. LOL Though it's great
> to see our kids grow up and become perceptive and aware, you're letting
> Dawson have the upperhand. He's not only aware of your intention, he's
> made the connection that certain behavior will get him what he wants-
> out of the crib and freedom to either stay awake or roam your room at
> his leisure. It's not processed quite this intelligently, but on a basic
> level, he knows what the situation is and how to respond. You're
> basically catering to his whims now.
>
> My sister did exactly what you're doing, and her kids to this day rule
> the roost. They set their own bedtimes, eat when they want and know how
> to manipulate the situation to get what they want. This was all learned
> at an early age. The oldest at seven is still like this.
>
> Crying is a healthy, natural part of life. Crying doesn't mean they are
> hurt or that you're a bad parent. Penny, at two-years-old, has to cry it
> out for an hour at times before falling asleep. Usually she just plays
> in her bed, but she does cry at times. Nothing will happen to them when
> they cry though, and studies actually show it's healthy for children,
> and adults, to just cry at times.
>
> No one is the perfect parent, and no one has all the answers. If you
> can't accomplish chores or unwind though, there's a problem. And if
> you're letting Dawson dictate all this, he's now dominating the
> situation. Placing the matress on the floor is just the last straw in my
> opinion. You want him to be safe and healthy, but to completely uproot
> your schedule and life, this doesn't seem healthy.
>
> It won't kill Dawson or you if he cries and cries in his crib. Children
> actually require limits and boundries regardless of how they feel or
> what they say and do. Penny has taken to screaming like a night owl when
> she wants her way. We've learned to ignore it even when in public. Once
> she realizes this doesn't get her attention, or her way, she stops. She
> will do it during naptime in her crib too. After she realizes no one is
> coming to let her out though, she lays back down and falls asleep.
>
> I know it's tough, and you enjoy the bonding aspect, but honey, that kid
> is wrapping his little finger around you much too tight, and he has all
> the cards in his hand. You think the crying-it-out method is cruel and
> unpleasant, but in a few years, you won't find it so pleasant when
> Dawson is always demanding his way and refusing to listen to you. This
> doesn't mean he isn't a sweet heart, but he's learning behavior at a
> young age that is ingraining certain behavior and ideas that will stick.
>
> And you mention how much you enjoy the bonding aspect, but what about
> Dawson? Not that he doesn't like mommy time, or isn't learning anything
> from the bonding, but at this point, the bonding seems to be more about
> how the experience is for you, and not about what is best for Dawson.
> You need time apart from him to unwind, relax, do something just for
> yourself, or spend valuable bonding time with your husband. This is all
> just as important as bonding with Dawson. Neither one of you seems
> better for this scenario; maybe trying something new should be
> considered.
>
> And if Dawson is always sleeping with you, it won't be easy to have
> another child! Smile.
>
> I realize numerous methods and ideas for parenting exist. This is my
> opinion, and it's either to be taken or ignored. Do not interpret this
> as me saying you're a bad parent either. We all make mistakes, and we
> all just want the best for our children. I just think you've dug
> yourself a hole that, if continueing, will be difficult to dig out of.
> Take control of the situation, and if Dawson has to cry, it won't kill
> him. You need time for yourself and with your husband. This is my two
> cents, and just an opinion. I have my own parenting issues to deal with;
> we all do. But I've learned from this list that we can all offer some
> wisdom, and we can learn from one another.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>
> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:11:53 -0700
> From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
> To: "NFB blind parent listserv" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [blparent] co-sleeping with toddler
> Message-ID: <002601cc9339$320be100$9623a300$@gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="us-ascii"
>
> Hello parents,
>
>
>
> I'd love to hear from those of you who chose to co-sleep with your
> babies. My son Dawson who will be one years old on Halloween has been
> co-sleeping with my husband and I since he was ten months old.  I
> absolutely love the co-sleeping arrangement and in many ways wish I had
> started it earlier.  The only snag that I'm finding is that Dawson used
> to be able and go down in his crib for the first stretch of the night
> which was a couple of hours and then by the time he woke-up I'd be ready
> to go to bed or my husband would just bring him into me to co-sleep.
> Now Dawson doesn't want to do the first stretch on his own and refuses
> to go down without me.  I'm an early to bed person but now not having
> that few hours on my own is difficult.  How do those of you with
> co-sleeping toddlers usually start out your night?  I'm finding that
> just letting Dawson play a little longer in my room with the TV on low
> helps him start to calm for the night and then around 8:30 we can lay
> down together with no stimulation noise or lights on and he'll fall
> asleep quickly.  This isn't giving me any time to unwind for the night
> though.  I'm still nursing Dawson so daddy putting him down to bed is
> out of the question since he needs boob to fall asleep and that's not a
> battle I want to start right now especially since breast feeding is so
> special and something both Dawson and I love very much.  I'm against cry
> it out methods and want sleep time to continue to be a positive and
> pleasant experience for everyone.
>
>
>
> Thanks,
>
>
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