[blparent] stranger contact with your child

Thu Oct 27 17:03:44 UTC 2011

Pipi,
Unfortunately; when many people hear, even educated medical people,  the 
word "blind" they automatically assume that you cannot see at all.  In my 
experiences being legally blind and totally blind, I have found that I 
typically get a better reaction if I say "I am having difficulty seeing..." 
In my opinion, your reaction to the particular situation by not confronting 
the person at that time was a good one.  We react differently when we are 
not feeling well and/or tired.  As hard as it is sometimes we need to assess 
the situation an decide if we are going to teach this person in a positive 
way or stay polite and move on.  My husband and I have a friend that is also 
legally blind we have told her to check her attitude towards people.  She 
wonders why if all three of us have the exact same situation happen 
separately why she gets the negative reaction and we get a more positive 
one.  We remind her that people  remember her attitude and reactions to 
previous encounters and that she gets the reaction that she deserves.  Try 
not to let it get to you too much if you can during and immediately after, 
because even though you may not say a thing your body language says a lot 
and they can see you a lot further away than you think.

Amanda
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Pipi" <blahblahblah0822 at gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, October 27, 2011 6:56 AM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child

> I really wish we could educate and get things through the ignorant's heads 
> though. I took my daughter to the express care clinic Tuesday night. 
> Everything was fine and normal as in I'm the adult, parent, care giver. 
> Then it came for me to sign the discharge papers and I simply ask the 
> woman to put her finger next to the line because I'm legally blind. That 
> started all the apologies and reverse of everything. She started telling 
> my very sick 2 year old daughter to take mommy to the door. Walk mommy 
> down the hallway.
> It just pisses me off and really it hurts. The fact that I had spent the 
> past 2 hours as a competent parent and adult didn't matter a damn bit once 
> the nurse found out i'm legally blind. I was no longer able to walk down a 
> hall without help even though I'd done it to get there and to take my 
> daughter to be weighed.
> But what do you do. I can't educate them all. Between my daughter being 
> sick, my severe lack of sleep and being sick as well, I just didn't have 
> it in me to even respond directly to her. I told Savannah to take my hand 
> so we could walk down the hall together
> Pipi
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, October 24, 2011 10:22 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child
>
>
>> My daughter loves to help or be involved in what I'm doing. It would 
>> upset her greatly if I brushed off the "She must be such a help to you" 
>> comments. Before she could understand language, it probably wouldn't have 
>> mattered. Now though, it would break her heart if she heard me blow off 
>> her helpfulness.
>>
>> Our children offer a lot.  My daughter has gotten me to care about 
>> dolphins and whales.  I honestly didn't give a rat's behind about either 
>> one until she became interested.  She likes it when I explain math to 
>> her. She understands that sometimes a girl just needs a cute dress and 
>> pair of shoes.  She was a huge comfort when our dog died, more so then my 
>> husband. She and I share a passion for avaiation. She has gotten me 
>> interested in racecars  Her kindness and level of awareness of people and 
>> situations has at times blown my mind.
>> When I get the "she must help you a lot" comments, my response is to give 
>> her a hug and kiss and say "She sure does".
>> If somebody is interested in more dtails or needs to know more, I'll 
>> explain.
>>
>> I really don't much care what a random person thinks. I care far more 
>> that my daughter knows I appreciate and value her.  We all need to feel 
>> that. My problem with this thread is that it belittles the contributions 
>> our children do make.
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf Of Brandy W
>> Sent: Saturday, October 22, 2011 9:14 AM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child
>>
>> When people say that too me they get something along the lines of yup 
>> just
>> as much help as your 2 year old is to you." I'm the adult he is the 
>> toddler.
>> they usually stop and think at that point. I have some other responses, 
>> but
>> this one works the best.
>>
>>
>> "When we treat children's play as seriously as it deserves, we are 
>> helping
>> them feel the joy that's to be found in the creative spirit. It's the 
>> things
>> we play with and the people who help us play that make a great difference 
>> in
>> our lives."
>> - Fred Rogers
>>
>> Brandy Wojcik
>> Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team Leader
>> www.playtoachieve.com
>> (512) 689-5045
>>
>> Looking for team members nation wide!
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, October 22, 2011 6:58 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child
>>
>>
>>>I think this is still because blindness makes the public uncomfortable 
>>>but
>>>our children don't.  I guess I'm lucky, although people have interacted
>>>with my children while I've been out it's been nothing that I don't see
>>>them do with sighted parents and their children.  But I guess just pay
>>>close attention and if the displays get uncomfortable for you then say
>>>something!! What always amazed me is how people would say things like ...
>>>oh I bet you are such a help to your mom, I could see it when the kids 
>>>were
>>>older but just a couple days ago someone said it to Dylan *he's 1 and a
>>>half*.  Oh yeah he's such a help, messing things up faster than I can get
>>>them cleaned up, lol.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: jan wright
>>> Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2011 1:25 PM
>>> To: blparent
>>> Subject: [blparent] stranger contact with your child
>>>
>>> This is annoying, i'll admit. I was not jealous that they could see my
>>> children's facial expressions and I couldn't.
>>> It is annoying because it is the start of people communicating with
>>> your baby or child without your knowledge and I would caution that you
>>> do need to be a little careful.
>>> Sometimes, people can take liberties with your child.
>>> the thing that annoys me most in this stage is that people don't even
>>> give you a respectful: "Oh,  you have a cute baby, do you mind?" They
>>> just assume that you don't mind. Note: they do some of the same things
>>> with my dog and it bothers me, also. I think that it is just
>>> respectful to talk to the adult first. And, the more I think about it
>>> the more i am convinced that it is just plain rude!
>>> When my children were older, people would give them candy that I did
>>> not want them to have; or toys to play with that were sometimes
>>> inappropriate. They would try to comfort or quiet your child and
>>> sometimes they were doing much more harm than good.
>>> I hate to be the web blanket in this discussion: but, these are the
>>> same adults who would rather talk to your child or your dog before
>>> having a conversation with you. I always found it strange that after I
>>> got my dog (and my children were teens) I experienced the same
>>> reaction from people. They would say to my children: "You are so
>>> sweet," "You are such a good baby," (and much more annoying comments).
>>> And, now that I have the dog, they want to talk to the dog: "You are
>>> such a good boy." GRRRR! And, I know that I am going to experience
>>> more of the same when I have my baby boy (seven more weeks until the
>>> due date).
>>> it is strange, though. It is harder to ward off unwanted behaviors
>>> from the sighted public and also harder to connect with them when we
>>> want to. UGGG.
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blparent mailing list
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> blparent:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/pshald%40neb.rr.com
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I don't have time to hate people who hate me because I'm too busy loving
>>> people who love me.
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blparent mailing list
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> blparent:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/branlw%40sbcglobal.net
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/rebecca.pickrell%40tasc.com
>> CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message and any attachments or files 
>> transmitted with it (collectively, the "Message") are intended only for 
>> the addressee and may contain information that is privileged, proprietary 
>> and/or prohibited from disclosure by law or contract. If you are not the 
>> intended recipient: (a) please do not read, copy or retransmit the 
>> Message; (b) permanently delete and/or destroy all electronic and hard 
>> copies of the Message; (c) notify us by return email; and (d) you are 
>> hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of the 
>> Message is strictly prohibited.
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/blahblahblah0822%40gmail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/awcactuscat1%40hotmail.com
> 