[blparent] what blind parents should know:

Tue Sep 20 16:21:54 UTC 2011

It's crazy to think that blind parents, or sighted parents either, will have 
every answer for every situation that might come up.  When asked, I tell 
people that I correspond by e-mail with a list of other blind parents, and 
we often trade ideas.  There are the same kind of e-mail groups for sighted 
parents, such as CafeMom.  But I listen to parents all over--in restaurants, 
in my neighborhood, at Sarah's preschool--and who knows where the next flash 
of insight will come from?  The one that springs readily to mind right now 
is that a mom in the next building over from mind at the condo complex made 
her little girl sit on the stairs for some infraction, I don't remember 
what.  I'd been having trouble with time-out because I couldn't find a place 
that wasn't free of distractions.  Sarah would sit contentedly in a chair if 
she could look out a window or something.  So we started using the stairs as 
the time-out spot, and bingo!  It works like a charm.  There's nothing to 
look at and nothing to do.  My point is, if you're willing to be teachable, 
you never know where you might learn tricks of the trade.  It doesn't have 
to be from other blind moms, unless it's a specific adaptation to not having 
sight, like a talking thermometer.

Debbie, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.  I wish you the best in 
getting custody of your granddaughters.  It can be a long, heart-breaking 
process, as my brother is finding out with his foster son.  The biological 
parents were just granted their third continuance, at the last moment before 
the hearing for the termination of parental rights was to happen.  So, 
everybody's in limbo for at least six more weeks.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of 
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of 
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "debbie grace" <debbiegrace at gci.net>
Sent: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 10:08 AM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] what blind parents should know:

> Hi Jo,
> I really enjoyed your comments on bling parenting.  It really brought home
> some of the hurdles thhat we face.  It is so nice to know that I am not
> alone in these feelings.  I too have felt that I have been under a
> microscope as I am a blind grandparent of two little girls and I am 
> seeking
> permenant custody of them.  I too have been put on the spot on how I will 
> do
> the basics for raising children.
> Thank You
> Debbie Grace in Alaska
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Monday, September 19, 2011 10:23 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] what blind parents should know:
>
> The biggest thing I would have wanted to know is that it's okay not to 
> have
> all the answers.  When someone asks, how will you do this or that or thus
> and such, it's fine to say well, I never considered that, but I'll think 
> on
> it, and I'm sure when the time comes, I'll have an answer.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant 
> of
> the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all 
> of
> these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "jan wright" <jan.wrightfamily5 at gmail.com>
> Sent: Monday, September 19, 2011 11:53 AM
> To: "blparent" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [blparent] what blind parents should know:
>
>> i think that when i was a new parent i would have wanted to know that
>> there is a solution to each challenge. And, there is usually more than
>> one solution because we all do things differently.
>> For example: each of us might use different techniques when feeding or
>> changing a diaper. That is ok. And, it is ok  if it looks a little
>> different to sighted people. Focus on the objective: not how it looks.
>> When my daughter was three months old -- quite a long time ago -- I
>> was on a greyhound bus and had to change her clothes. The well-meaning
>> woman beside me said: "that's not the way you dress a baby." i put my
>> daughter's legs in the sleeper first and then the arms. i had not even
>> thought about doing it the other way and until then, thought that i
>> was doing it like everyone else.
>> but, it worked for me.
>> most sighted people feed the child facing them. But, this just does
>> not work for me. i get some flack for it -- as well as the fact that i
>> am always putting my hand on their mouth/chin/etc.
>> so what!
>> It is my baby and as long as she/he is getting the required food,
>> people need to keep some of their advice to themselves.
>> it is a different thing if they say:
>> "hey, can I show you a way that might be easier?" or "Have you thought
>> of doing it this way?"
>> I'd take some of those 'what professionals need to know about blind
>> parenting,' pamphlets that the NFB has.
>>   You might want to do some role playing to see how parents might just
>> act in certain situations and get them comfortable with speaking up
>> against an authority figure. Sometimes professionals like doctors and
>> social workers can catch you off guard. Encourage them to find someone
>> that they feel comfortable being vulnerable with. We are not "super
>> parents," but sometimes we feel like we have to act like it because
>> sometimes common questions are attributed to our blindness instead of
>> just being attributed to normal parenting.
>> And, frankly, it is draining enough as a parent; but even moreso if
>> you have to be in the "i have to proove that I am a worthy candidate
>> for parenthood," stage or if you have to continue to defend your
>> positions on every single decision and activity.
>> infant CPR would be a good thing to learn: although this is not 'blind
>> specific'.
>> hmmm, i'll have to think of more!
>>
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>
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