[blparent] introduction, expecting

[Bernadetta Pracon]

Tatyana,
First of all, Congratulations on your new little one. Do you know what 
you're having?
I am a relatively new mommy too. My baby boy was born almost six months 
ago, so I thought I'd share my experiences with you. Prior to having a 
baby, I didn't really have much experience with caring for small 
children. I became terribly nervous when I was expecting, because it 
was drummed into my mind that taking care of an infant is hard work, 
and on top of that I'm blind, so it must be twice as hard. I thought 
I'd be scared to bring my little one up and down the stairs at my home 
for example, thought I would never learn how to change him properly, or 
feed him for that matter. I thought I'd be carrying him around in a 
front pack forever because I'd be afraid to accidentally bump him into 
a wall while walking or something. Fast-forward six months, and guess 
what, I haven't even used my front pack. Not once. And I've become a 
pro with my little one, as has my boyfriend/partner. So far, my baby 
has not incurred any injuries, not even minor ones.
I wanted to take  all of the classes offered by the hospital that Jo 
Elizabeth mentioned, but the hospital I chose to give birth at was not 
easy to get to on my own and I didnt' have the best transportation 
system in place at the time. So I didn't end up taking advantage of 
them. However, when I got there, I was confident and willing to learn 
everything I needed to in order to safely care for my son. My partner 
who is also blind was equally prepared to learn how to be responsible 
for our child. When we were asked by nurses and doctors about how we 
would provide for our child, we told them, patiently and confidently 
that we, like any other couple with a small baby, would probably 
require some help and that we had my family nearby if we needed them.
The only person at the hospital who got under my skin was the social 
worker assigned to us: She was like a cross examiner, and for a social 
worker, quite ignorant. She insisted on asking idiotic questions like, 
how would we know if the baby had a poopy diaper, and she made it 
obvious that in her mind, two blind people shouldn't live alone with a 
baby. We assured her that we were going to be fine, and because we made 
a solid case for ourselves, she had no loophole in which to slip in and 
cause trouble. It may have also been helpful that my mom, who was in 
the hospital with us for the birth (per my request) and then to visit 
the baby, assured the staff of the hospital that if we needed her, 
she'd help us. That's not overstepping the lines, in my oppinion; Every 
new grandma is eager to help with her child's new baby,. Many new 
parents, whether blind or sighted seek their own parents assistance 
with the baby for a time.
I ended up having a CSection which granted me a few more days at the 
hospital. I took advantage of that; I asked the nurses to teach me 
about diapering, swaddling, breastfeeding, and bathing my boy. Don't be 
nervous about asking them for help, but be sure that at the end of your 
hospital stay, you're able to show them that you've retained at least 
the basics of baby care. If some nurse is being snooty with you and 
seems more willing to berate you for being a blind mom than she is 
eager to teach you how to be one, you should feel free to request 
assistance from someone else. It's your hospital stay; The hospital 
should benefit you in whatever way they can, so don't be  too shy to 
ask for help. I was fortunate to have had a great hospital staff aiding 
my new family. The nurses and  PCA's, even the doctors were supportive 
and seemed eager to give us a chance. But I'll tell you that  they did 
feel apprehensive, and had I not displayed my compitance and my 
willingness to learn, they would have hesitated to allow the child to 
come home with me. You need to be confident. You need to be 
sharp-minded and work with the hospital staff. In most cases, they are 
just working in your baby's best interest.
Well, that's that. I'm sorry for the long-winded message. i'm rambling. 
lol. Anyway, good luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to ask 
the list, and since  I've been through all this recently, feel free to 
email me off list if you need to talk and get advice, new mom to a 
slightly  more seasoned new mom. lol
Good  Luck!!
Bernadetta