[blparent] introduction, expecting

Sun Aug 12 05:31:36 UTC 2012

I think that all of this conversation is very intriguing to see the situations that other individuals went through. My son, Nicholas, came at 32 weeks. This meant that after his mom was life flown down to Seattle Washington, from Ketchikan Alaska, we had to spend about eight weeks in the hospital. We really got to know the nurses there, and, they did ask us a couple of questions because of my blindness. She was not blind, she being his mom, and, I guess we really do not have that many problems. One nurse we did have some difficulties with, did not communicate as well as I suspected she should have. In regards to her, all we did was ask the head nurse if we could get a new evening nurse to work with us, and our son. It was very easy to make this change, even in the neonatal intensive care unit, (NICU), where staff was limited. The head nurse said, "I understand where you are coming from, and respect the fact that you would like to make the right decisions that you feel would be for your son." And, that's what really made me enjoy my time at Swedish medical Center in Seattle, even with the fact that I really wanted to just go home with my then girlfriend and our new sun.
For those of you who do not know, me and that young lady are no longer together. She has our son 67% of the year, leaving me with only 33. Don't misunderstand this, I respect the reason why it is this way, and I hope to change it in the near future. But, I do understand where some individuals are coming from and regards to difficulties with the social worker. I think that all parents may have been asked the question, "How will you know when it is time to change the diaper?" My response was, my eyes don't work my nose does.
One thing that I do want to let everyone know about, was a interesting situation that I always tell people when they ask me about my son. After about three weeks, he had not had his hearing test done. Sabrina, his mom, and I went to lunch. I stopped at the nurses desk and asked them "Could you  please do Nicholas is hearing test? I would really appreciate it, don't take this the wrong way, but, if he is blind them we will be okay. If he has any hearing difficulties however, there may be some communication issues." We then came back from lunch about 45 minutes later, and the results of his stellar hearing test had been posted.
The moral of the story is, for any new parent don't hesitate to ask questions. Your first concern should be the health of your child, and no question is too dumb to ask.

Michael Babcock, Assistive Technology And Braille Instructor

Alaska Center for the Blind and Visually Impaired

Equipping Alaskans for success

Phone: 907-771-4303

fax 907.248.7517
www.alaskabvi.org

 michael.babcock09 at gmail.com

On Aug 11, 2012, at 6:04 PM, "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net> wrote:

> I had the same social worker and when she asked me how I would know if the
> diaper was dirty, I calmly said, "how do you know?"  I then followed the
> question with, I'm not trying to be rude or hateful, but everyone knows
> whether they are sighted or blind when a diaper needs changing.  Honestly,
> she didn't question me again!
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Bernadetta Pracon
> Sent: Saturday, August 11, 2012 3:07 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction, expecting
> 
> Tatyana,
> First of all, Congratulations on your new little one. Do you know what
> you're having?
> I am a relatively new mommy too. My baby boy was born almost six months ago,
> so I thought I'd share my experiences with you. Prior to having a baby, I
> didn't really have much experience with caring for small children. I became
> terribly nervous when I was expecting, because it was drummed into my mind
> that taking care of an infant is hard work, and on top of that I'm blind, so
> it must be twice as hard. I thought I'd be scared to bring my little one up
> and down the stairs at my home for example, thought I would never learn how
> to change him properly, or feed him for that matter. I thought I'd be
> carrying him around in a front pack forever because I'd be afraid to
> accidentally bump him into a wall while walking or something. Fast-forward
> six months, and guess what, I haven't even used my front pack. Not once. And
> I've become a pro with my little one, as has my boyfriend/partner. So far,
> my baby has not incurred any injuries, not even minor ones.
> I wanted to take  all of the classes offered by the hospital that Jo
> Elizabeth mentioned, but the hospital I chose to give birth at was not easy
> to get to on my own and I didnt' have the best transportation system in
> place at the time. So I didn't end up taking advantage of them. However,
> when I got there, I was confident and willing to learn everything I needed
> to in order to safely care for my son. My partner who is also blind was
> equally prepared to learn how to be responsible for our child. When we were
> asked by nurses and doctors about how we would provide for our child, we
> told them, patiently and confidently that we, like any other couple with a
> small baby, would probably require some help and that we had my family
> nearby if we needed them.
> The only person at the hospital who got under my skin was the social worker
> assigned to us: She was like a cross examiner, and for a social worker,
> quite ignorant. She insisted on asking idiotic questions like, how would we
> know if the baby had a poopy diaper, and she made it obvious that in her
> mind, two blind people shouldn't live alone with a baby. We assured her that
> we were going to be fine, and because we made a solid case for ourselves,
> she had no loophole in which to slip in and cause trouble. It may have also
> been helpful that my mom, who was in the hospital with us for the birth (per
> my request) and then to visit the baby, assured the staff of the hospital
> that if we needed her, she'd help us. That's not overstepping the lines, in
> my oppinion; Every new grandma is eager to help with her child's new baby,.
> Many new parents, whether blind or sighted seek their own parents assistance
> with the baby for a time.
> I ended up having a CSection which granted me a few more days at the
> hospital. I took advantage of that; I asked the nurses to teach me about
> diapering, swaddling, breastfeeding, and bathing my boy. Don't be nervous
> about asking them for help, but be sure that at the end of your hospital
> stay, you're able to show them that you've retained at least the basics of
> baby care. If some nurse is being snooty with you and seems more willing to
> berate you for being a blind mom than she is eager to teach you how to be
> one, you should feel free to request assistance from someone else. It's your
> hospital stay; The hospital should benefit you in whatever way they can, so
> don't be  too shy to ask for help. I was fortunate to have had a great
> hospital staff aiding my new family. The nurses and  PCA's, even the doctors
> were supportive and seemed eager to give us a chance. But I'll tell you that
> they did feel apprehensive, and had I not displayed my compitance and my
> willingness to learn, they would have hesitated to allow the child to come
> home with me. You need to be confident. You need to be sharp-minded and work
> with the hospital staff. In most cases, they are just working in your baby's
> best interest.
> Well, that's that. I'm sorry for the long-winded message. i'm rambling. 
> lol. Anyway, good luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to ask the
> list, and since  I've been through all this recently, feel free to email me
> off list if you need to talk and get advice, new mom to a slightly  more
> seasoned new mom. lol Good  Luck!!
> Bernadetta
> 
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