[blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child Services (was introduction, expecting)

[Gabe Vega]

for some reason I don't feel bad by stating I disagree. most of the time blind parents who have this issue because of a secondary disability such as mental health issues or even immaturity. This may be something most might deny, but I am going on record saying this is what I believe. I can understand and I even think I gone through what Marsha Lindsey describes here as CPS or Social Workers just not knowing because I went through that with my own custody battle. but I think I was an exception. I know a couple of cases here on list most definitely had to do with competency concerns and although we'd like to use the blind card as a get out of jail free card. this isn't the case for the cases I am aware of or have asked advisement on.

Be advised unfortunately mental health is looked at deeply these days. and for example, I am willing to bet, a woman like my grand mother who helped raise me when I was a kid, wouldn't be suitable today to raise a child to today's standards. why, because her simple febal mind wouldn't fit the mental health standards of the state. simple as that. is it fair, no. but what can we do?

On Aug 12, 2012, at 10:17 AM, Marsha Drenth <marsha.drenth at gmail.com> wrote:

> Let me clarify here. Social services does take children away from blind parents for no reason other than their disability. Social services, lawyers, doctors, nurses, custody evaluators, CPS all need to be educated in blindness. But I did not mean to imply that no blind parent, or any sighted parent would not need help. I do not think any parent who is blind should be a "super blind parent" just for the gratification of showing that they are independent. When our children are born, unfortunately they are not born with manuals. And unless a person has hadd experience with children, worked with them, or taken classes, a new parent is not going to know everything. As our children grow up, we encounter different situations, one particular method is not going to work with a child that is 10 compared to when they were 2 years old. We learn, we grow in our parenting styles, tools, methods, experiences. I can't say that a blind parent who is confident will always skip around the social services questions. Nor can I say that a blind  parent who is not confident in their skills willl guarantee questions from social services. 
> 
> What I am saying is that social services question our abilities purely just because we are blind and for no other reason. Its the same way if a parent is physical disabled or deaf. Those disabilities just as blindness does not prevent us from taking care of our children, although we will need to use alternative techniques, just as someone who is deaf, or physically disabled. 
> 
> Would we say that in the case of the Mikayla baby, that the parents were too confident? Or that they didn't show enough confidence? or that they would not have had help, sighted or blind? Or that they were not capable? They were without their baby for months, Why because the social worker was not educated.Social services sometimes is going to investigate us, no matter how well or how bad we as parents are. if they understand, blindness, understand the alternative techniques we use. If they understand they then have no reason to question, our abilities. 
> 
> What I am saying is, it doesn't matter why social services, or CPS gets involved. its how we go about resolving that parent and child are together, there are no gaps in skills, and that the child will be safe and taken care of. Its that we educate those professionals involved.  
> 
> 
> I know that i never ever want another parent to have to fight to keep their children, because social services, DSS, or CPS doesn't think because eyes do not work,  a person can't be  a parent. 
> 
> your welcome to disagree with me, but real fights do happen out there, fights that should have not happened. 
> 
> 
> 
> Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
> 
> On Aug 12, 2012, at 9:46 AM, Bernadetta Pracon <bernadetta_pracon at samobile.net> wrote:
> 
>> Yep; I had a visiting nurse come as well. They did offer me that service, and I took them up on it for the same reasons Peggy did. She was extremely helpful. if you're a new parent, you should definitely use that resource if it's offered to you. I don't care if you're planning on being super mom and doing it all yourself; Any bit of extra insight, advice or help is a good thing; don't shun it.
>> 
>> Bernadetta
>> 
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