[blparent] Reintro and anouncement

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Hi, Kate.  I wish all of you the best of happiness as you take up the 
challenge of blending your families.

The only tip I can think of off the top of my head is to let the biological 
parent handle any big discipline issues that come up.  And be a united 
front--sooner or later, and probably sooner, you'll hear the "You're not my 
mom" routine.  So you need to be absolutely sure that the other parent will 
back you up, so sure that you can send the child to the other parent to ask 
about whatever the issue is, and not worry that you'll be undermined. 
Otherwise, the kids will play the parents against each other.  Since you 
have children in both families, you might also consider buying or renting a 
house together, instead of moving into a house where part of the family has 
already been living.  If you move in with Gabe, for example, your older 
daughter and his will argue at some point, and his daughter will play the 
"well, this is my house" card.  Oh, and take it slow.  Tiffany may want to 
start calling Gabe her daddy right away, since she hasn't had one. 
Especially if she goes to preschool or daycare, where the other kids have 
dads.  I know this because my Sarah has a Nanna, a family friend, and all of 
a sudden now she wants to call her Grandma instead because kids at school 
have grandparents.  Ash may not want to call Gabe her dad for a long time, 
if she ever does.  The daddy spot in her heart is already filled; give her 
time.

I hope this helps.  It's what I've learned about blending families over the 
last five years.  The kids, most of all, will take their cues from you.  If 
you're happy, they'll be happy.  Kids are amazingly adaptable.  Please write 
to me privately if you want to talk.

Jo Elizabeth

I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
-----Original Message----- 
From: Kate McEachern
Sent: Tuesday, August 28, 2012 12:51 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] Reintro and anouncement

Hi list.

I know I left this list because of disgust and frustration at the behavior 
of others on this list, though because of changes in my life I feel the need 
to return. You see this list with all its issues had helped me at times when 
I just didn't know what to do and for that I am thankful. But there was 
something about to happen that I didn't see coming, but am glad it has 
because this event will make my life complete and improve life for my 
children.

For a wile me and a member of this list would at times write back and forth, 
resulting in us agreeing or at times not. At one point me and this person 
disagreed so much we stopped writing e-mails and wrote each other off. There 
was a post before I left where I read that this person had a Mac, and 
wanting help with Ash's Mac I contacted this person by e-mail to get help.

We began to talk through e-mail and then moved on to the phone. Recently we 
met in person and things went so well we are now engaged.

If it hadn't been for this list I would of never met my man. I will be 
forever thankful to this list for giving me a man who is caring towards my 
children, loving to me, and the strong independent man I want by my side. 
This would not of happened with out my joining this list and now I am eager 
for tips on how me and Gabe can blend our families.

You see, my two children and myself will be relocating to be with Gabe and 
his children. My oldest is still dealing with the loss of her Father and 
though is open to having a relationship with Gabe, I am interested in what I 
should expect my child to go through as her and Gabe learn about each other 
and begin to interact as a child and step parent. I am confident things will 
be Ok between Ash and Gabe's older child, though some what to expect when 
children get use to being step siblings would be helpful. For my Tiffany 
things will be different. You see, Tiffany was only 9 months old when her 
Dad fell ill and never got to know him, so for her this will be a new 
experience for her. So what should I expect from my three year old who has 
never had a man in her life in a parenting sense? I expect Tiffany will 
transition to having more siblings easier then Ash, but I would like to know 
what has happened for other single parents who find themselves blending 
families.

I want to thank the NFB blind parents list for opening a door for a single 
Blind Mother to meat such an amazing man. This would of never happened if 
Gabe and I never joined this list,.

Again, Thank you.

Kate and Gabe

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