[blparent] punishment

Thu Feb 2 05:02:17 UTC 2012

See, in my book, the punishment has to go elsewhere, when gab signed up for soccer, she was committed to a team and all the ill behavior didn't affect soccer.  That was good exercise and a good way to learn discipline.
Nikki, I was just remembering another person one time said that when their son was ill behaved, they would have him run laps around their backyard.  She said it worked in 2 ways, it was good for him and he liked to run and the greater the crime, the more laps he had to run even if he was tired.  I tried this punishment with Gab, but some how, she turned it into a game with the dog. So back to time out we went. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 3:23 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment

        Sounds silly, but I'm sure it works for you. I never thought of that. Yes. I have witnessed the flopping around. He has a lot of energy. He is constantly sitting up on his knees and then back down on his butt. He has a kicking the table leg tendency. It's more of an involuntary action. He just does it without thinking.

I just think he needs more physical activity. In the summertime, he and papa go for bike rides just about every day possible. There really isn't a lot to do in the wintertime.
I'd like to take him to a Monkey Joes sometime, but his behavior at school tells me not to. So, IDK. I took him away from soccor because he kept bringing home yellows. So...

-----Original Message-----
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 3:22 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment

What's up with the flopping around?  Have you seen that before?  Can he control his movements, or might there be something wrong?  Maybe he needs a chance at the beginning of class to get the wiggles out?  I've done that with Sarah, actually encouraged her to jump around and wave her arms and laugh for a minute before she's going to have to sit still for a time, like in a restaurant.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 2:17 PM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment

>    Yesterday he brought an orange home, but today he brought a yellow. 
> I don't understand his behavior problems. He said, "I didn't listen 
> and disrespected the teacher. I was flopping around." He can't control 
> himself. So I've got him in his room. I didn't spank him, but he asked 
> me if I was going to. I didn't want to, so I said no.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Veronica Smith
> Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 11:48 AM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
> Great, good luck!
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 10:11 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
>    I know. But I don't think it was done out of anger. He knows better 
> not to hit, push, or anything in that nature. I've told him about the 
> "golden rule." Treat others as you would want to be treated. I even 
> went as far as pushing him myself and asking him, "do you like it when I do that to you?"
> He says, no. I told him, then what makes you think other people would 
> like it if you did that to them?
> I'm trying all different approaches to this, he had a good day yesterday.
> This morning was sounding promising for another good day. We'll see.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Veronica Smith
> Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 10:55 AM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
> But Nikki, pushing is a form of hitting. Well, in our elementary 
> school anyway.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 9:17 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
>    I've had him write sentences like, I will listen and do what I am 
> told, I will respect others and their things, I will not talk out of 
> turn, to name a few, about 10times. He plays school with his cousins 
> after school, sometimes. But come next week, his cousins won't be here 
> after school. So more chances for play dates. He usually either bugs 
> me, goes to the library with papa, colors, plays with play dough, 
> paints, or plays with cars and blocks. Oh yeah and board games or legos.
>
> I try very hard not to spank and most of the time I'm successful. It 
> just seems like lately he's deserved it. He knows not to hit,
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Veronica Smith
> Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 9:27 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
> Nikki, what is he substituting for the Wii.  It will get boring doing 
> nothing but sitting.  It works for other children, but tough love is 
> usually what it takes.  You could turn to meds, they settle children 
> down, but at what expense.  Some of those kids walk around like 
> zombies because they are doped up.  Spanking is reserved here for 
> serious crimes like darting into the traffic breaking items that could possibly be harmful.
> Sometimes, just sometimes, if you show that it is okay to hit (spank) 
> then a child thinks it's okay to hit.
> I do recommend talking to the school counselor and see what they 
> recommend for changing this behavior. V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 7:39 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
>    Taking things away from him isn't solving the problem. He likes 
> Mario Kart Wii a lot. He hasn't been able to play it since the stream 
> of yellows and few reds. It hasn't been doing much since the behavior 
> continues. The punishment is that if he brings home a yellow or red, 
> no Wii. If he gets a yellow or red on a Friday, that means the whole 
> weekend without the Wii, computer playing, or playing with his train.
>
> He has been confined to his room before, but that doesn't seem to work.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Veronica Smith
> Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 5:18 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
> The only way is restricting him from the things he likes and if that 
> means you have to hear him scream or throw a huge tantrum for x amount 
> of time, then be it.  My husband used to put Gab in her room when 
> she'd do what she wanted and she would scream and scream and we told 
> her she could come out when she could control herself and do as she 
> was told.  Sometimes it took a few minutes, sometimes a few hours and 
> then the next time she acted up, back into the room she went.  I know 
> that professionals say not to use their rooms as a place of 
> punishment, but that is what I did, some peeps use a rug and others 
> use a chair, but you use what works. V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 11:12 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
>    IDK if I could do that. I don't think he's angry with me. It has 
> more to do with him not listening and doing what he's told. Sunday, he 
> and papa went for a walk in the woods. As they were walking back to 
> the car, my dad told him not to pick up any snow because he didn't 
> want his gloves to be all wet when they got in the car. You know what? 
> That little defiant brat did it anyway. He doesn't listen. Two weeks 
> ago, he got a detention for not listening to the lunchtime supervisor 
> and just continued playing, ignoring the call to come line up. As far 
> as last week and today, I don't know why he pushed another kid, except 
> today, he played freeze tag even after he was told not to. So, I'm 
> just wondering how to fix this "not listening, ignoring, and not doing what told to do" business.
>
> It seems his answer for everything is "I don't know." I'm ready to 
> wash his mouth out every time he says that. Because I know he knows.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Veronica Smith
> Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 11:20 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] punishment
>
> Nikki, can you attend his class for a day or so.  Tell him that mommy 
> is going to check up on him and then stick to your words.  It might be 
> today or
> 2 days later, but perhaps you need to see what the class is doing and 
> why he is acting up.
> Is he angry at you for something?  Sometimes a child will take it out 
> on someone his own size to (in his mind) is punishing you.
> Maybe the teacher is only seeing the hitting or pushing, but not 
> seeing the whole reason for the behavior.  Perhaps, your son is  
> defending himself.
> You know, there is always 2 sides to every story.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 3:02 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] punishment
>
> Hi all. Yes I’m back again. How would you discipline a six year old 
> boy who doesn’t listen and do what he’s told? I haven’t figured out 
> what will change his behavior. He pushed another child, in school 
> today and Friday. He lied to me last night by saying he’ll be good 
> today. We even had him saying “I know I can, I know I can, said the 
> engine that did.” I’m out of my witts end. The past few weeks have 
> been horrible. I can’t understand why.
>
> The teacher uses a sliding scale for the behavior. You come to class, 
> you start with an orange. Your behavior throughout  the day determines 
> the outcome. So you can either do great and get a green card, but you 
> can slide back to orange, which is a “ready to work” day. Ah, but 
> there’s the possible yellow, which is a “behavior needs to be worked 
> on".” You could go to red, which is the worst. I almost forgot, after 
> the green is blue, “the best behavior, you’re like a role model.” One 
> thing, if you get a red or blue, that’s it. You can’t slide off.
>
> Now, my son has been bringing home yellows and the past two days 
> including today, were red. I’ve made the decision to take all of his 
> toys out of his room, including stuffed animals and having him go to 
> his room after school until he fixes his behavior. For each day he 
> brings home a good report and I’m not just talking an orange, I will 
> give him one toy back.
>
> I’m tired of spanking him. It doesn’t seem to work for me. What do you 
> think?
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