[blparent] update on the kids

[Stephanie Mitchell]

Hi All,
It's been a while, so I thought I'd write an update on our 
family.
First, It was Cathy's 5th birthday yesterday.  We had a really 
great day.  First it was toast for breakfast, Cathy's choice.  We 
had cupcakes at school.  Then last night, I took the 3 kids to 
hungry Jacks.  On the whole it went ok, although they didn't 
really stay with me when I was ordering, and it took about 5 
calls to get them back.  I held Tim, who is now 18 months, so he 
was fine.  I ate out side near the play area, and let them play 
after dinner, then caught a taxi home.  Stan got home about 8 pm, 
and we had chocolate cake to round off the day.  Cathy got some 
sticker books, a dolls house complete with little people in it, 
and some colouring stuff.  She started school 3 weeks ago, and is 
thriving.  She has just started bringing home the readers each 
night, which is hard, because unlike Michele she can't read much 
yet.  But we get there by Cathy spelling every thing to me.
Tim is now 18 months old and growing.  He is still cosleeping and 
breastfeeding, and I don't plan on stopping that until he's about 
two.  Then I'll try the gradually wean him.  He loves to eat, and 
eats a large variety of fruit, vegies, cheese, chicken and lamb.  
He doesn't really talk much.  He will say mum and dad, bye and 
nite-nite but that's about it.  He understands every thing 
though.  He always seems to know when we are going out, and 
brings me my cane.  He also will find things if I ask him, put 
things back when asked etc.  He loves touching stuff though and 
it can be interesting with the other 2 kids in the house.  Trying 
to do the kids home work while keeping him intertained is a real 
challenge.  He doesn't like toys, he would rather be doing what 
every one else is, but he can't.  So he gets in to every thing 
and I feel like a monkey chasing him around all the time.
Michele was 8 in January.  Since last year when she reported us 
to family services with false accusations of sexual abuse by dad, 
and reported me for spanking, we are waiting on an appointment to 
see the ped.  First, the doctor never put me on the waiting list, 
so I had to ring up about that.  Because of the long wait, it 
looks like it'll be about august before we are seen.  She excels 
with her school work, and with her piano studies.  But behaviour 
wise she is a bit of a nightmare.  She is defiant, and won't do 
what she is asked.  I actually got a sighted friend to watch me 
in action, to see if maybe it was something I needed to fix.  She 
was there for an evening.  First, during the meal, Michele went 
to the fridge while I was feeding Tim, and took some ham out and 
ate it.  After dinner, when I wanted Michele to help with the 
dishes, she decided to play with the stuff on the bench when I 
sunk out to look at what Cath was doing.  When ever I had to 
attend to the kids, instead of helping with what I'd asked, she 
would touch things, or just stuff the dishes in the drawer with 
out drying them.  Then when I tried to call her to account, she 
would lie, and not admit it, even at spanking her and time out.  
My friend saw her do these things, and said I had every thing, 
but she still was playing up.  We had a load of washing that 
night, I handed Michele something to hang up, and she drooped it, 
then threw the clothing, then hid it under the bed, then flat out 
lied about where the clothing was.
After that night, I decided I'd had enough of her fighting me all 
the time.  So I have a new plan.  She has to sit by me while I'm 
doing her washing and doing the dishes.  If she asks to help, 
then let her and if she starts playing, make her sit by me again.  
So far, it's sort of working after a week.  Although the kids ate 
all my chocolate, and flat out lied about it.  Michele also has 
started trying to sass me when I tell her to sit by me, and says 
things like "you're mean" or "you are punishing me" when I'm not.  
So I'd had to shut her down.
To be honest, I am feeling like a total failure as a parent right 
now.  It seems like the kids listen more to dad than me.  And 
they take advantage of my blindness and hearing loss.  I am at a 
loss what to do.
Steph