[blparent] Keeping young childrensafe asparentswithavisualimpairment

Thu Jan 5 05:09:42 UTC 2012

Miranda,

I did not mean to imply that I blame the child. I am saying that some
children present more challenges than others. Parents who are already
struggling can find this kind of challenge to be more than they can deal
with. Never does a child's behavior explain or excuse abuse. I think we both
agree on this point, I just wanted to clarify in case you were under the
impression that I was blaming a child.

Jennifer

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Miranda B.
Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2012 11:06 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young childrensafe
asparentswithavisualimpairment

Hi,
Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts.
Just to clarify, it is not due to a child's behavior that they end up being
placed in foster care. Sadly, this is a widely held myth.
Thanks again, and have a great week!

In Christ, Miranda

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jennifer Jackson
Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2012 10:51 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe
asparentswithavisualimpairment

Miranda,

You may want some kind of alarm at the top of the stairs with the baby gate
too. When my middle son was an infant we lived in a house with stairs, but
they had a landing half way down and were carpeted. I decided it was better
to teach the baby to climb up and down safely instead of depending on all
the people who lived in the house and guests to secure the gate every time.
That worked very well for both of my two that learned to walk and crawl in
that place. Our current house has a straight run of stairs that ends in a
tiled hallway. I tried putting a gate up, but removed it pretty quickly for
fear my kids were going to seriously injure themselves or worse. It is not a
safety feature if the kids see it as a challenge to be over come by stacking
stuff up so they could climb over it. These boys were 1 and 3.

My initial thoughts were to stay out of this thread about baby proofing
techniques. At least one of my kids has overcome every so called safety
feature I have ever come across. My kids are definitely different. :) The
thing is that it is kids like mine who often end up in foster care just
because they are such challenges.

I am not trying to discourage anyone from using these safety tools. I bought
them for every baby and installed gates every time too. I just tried to stay
alert to what was working and to not only rely on them.

Jennifer

 to s born My own experience with stairs caused me to 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Miranda B.
Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2012 9:47 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young childrensafe
asparentswithavisualimpairment

Hi,
When caring for children in the foster care system, these children come with
previous trauma and abuse. Such trauma and abuse may produce behaviors not
exhibited by one's biological child, and an alarm on the child's bedroom
door would alert us as foster parents to a child attempting to leave their
bedroom without us knowing. Please also know that due to some abuse these
children have suffered, they are much more likely to be comfortable when
sleeping with their bedroom door closed for privacy.
We do have a gate at the top of our stairs, but the alarm on the bedroom
door is just one more way we can ensure a child's safety while in our home.
I hope this helps to explain our reasoning for wishing to install the alarm,
and I hope you have a great week!

In Christ, Miranda

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2012 8:46 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe
asparentswithavisualimpairment

Why an alarm for the kid's bedroom?
My daughter won't sleep with her door closed, hasn't done so since she was
about a year old.
What would an alarm on that door accomplish?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Miranda B.
Sent: Monday, January 02, 2012 10:03 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe
asparentswithavisualimpairment

Hi Leanne,
We've had a couple friends bring their young children to our home, and it is
pretty childproof. *grin* We do have a deadbolt on both the front and back
doors, the back door is only accessible by going through the basement door
which has a childproof knob cover on it. The basement is accessible through
the kitchen which is blocked by a gate.
The only doors we'll be using the alarms for are the front door and the
child's bedroom.
We'll call lowes this week as part of our research.
Thanks so much, and have a great week!

In Christ, Miranda

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Leanne Merren
Sent: Sunday, January 01, 2012 10:48 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe
asparentswithavisualimpairment

Hi Miranda,
Well I wasn't actually the one who installed it - our building and grounds
committee ended up taking care of the request.  But right now we have the
receiver plugged in on the other side of the room and it works fine.  Maybe
call Lowes and ask them what they carry.  I'm almost positive they got it
there.
I will be honest though, I think I would want a dead bolt or something if I
was thinking about security for my door leading to the outside.  Toddlers
getting outside can be a very scarry situation.  If they aren't wearing
bells or any kind of sound source, they can often be very quick and I
wouldn't chance it.  I might do the alarm as a security measure in case
someone forgot to throw the lock, but securing the door I think is the
biggest concern.  My kids can't open my door when they're little so I
haven't had to worry about it, but as they get older I can put some serious
rules in place to keep them from even trying it.  With foster children,
however, they aren't with you to have those rules strictly enforced at
first, so you face some challenges there.  I have to think about things like
that with my day care kids so I'm sharing these thoughts from my own
experiences.
Have you had children over to your home to kind of test the waters and see
how child proof it really is?  Kids can find the craziest things to get into
and they can sure surprise me at times. *smile* Leanne
----- Original Message -----
From: "Miranda B." <knownoflove at gmail.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, January 01, 2012 8:53 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe
asparentswithavisualimpairment

> Hi Leanne,
> Thanks so much! How far can the box be from the receiver before it 
> loses a signal?
> Thanks again, and have a great week!
>
> In Christ, Miranda
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Leanne Merren
> Sent: Sunday, January 01, 2012 6:53 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as 
> parentswithavisualimpairment
>
> I am the nursery coordinator at our church, and we were having a 
> problem with toddlers getting out of the fire exit door, because the 
> style of door knob on those doors is very easy for little hands to 
> grasp.  Child proofing isn't allowed since it might keep us from 
> making a swift exit.  So we purchased the door alarm to alert the 
> nursery volunteers of the door being opened.  It is a box installed 
> next to the door that sends a signal to a receiver that is plugged 
> into the wall.  The sound isn't loud, it's like a door bell ringing.
> It has worked out very well.  I do believe it was purchased at Lowes.
> Leanne
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "sharon howerton" <shrnhow at att.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2011 12:11 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as 
> parentswithavisualimpairment
>
>
>> Miranda, no, the alarms I heard were not terribly loud and perhaps 
>> you could adjust the volume. It was just a tone when a door was opened.
>> One wouldn't want something piercing as it could awaken or startle a 
>> young child anyway. I hope Walmart can help you but if not, I'll ask 
>> my son if they have anything at Lowe's if you like and even if there 
>> isn't something near you, perhaps they could ship or check good old
> Amazon.
>> As for the APH book, I don't recall the name, Debbie may, but you may 
>> try to contact Terri Terlau at APH to ask her.
>> I agree with you about the costs of those books, but you could 
>> mention them to your caseworker as resources if nothing else. Perhaps 
>> NLS has them in Braille or through BARD. Or perhaps your local Lions 
>> Club could purchase for you?
>> Sharon
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Miranda B." <knownoflove at gmail.com>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2011 10:53 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents 
>> withavisualimpairment
>>
>>
>>> Hi again Sharon,
>>> We're headed to Walmart early next week to investigate the door chimes.
>>> Now,
>>> we're praying we can find some that chime and don't admit an 
>>> ear-pearsing beep! I agree a child needs to be safe and cared for, 
>>> but I value my life and sanity, and I don't want to be startled 
>>> awake... LOL ;)
>>>
>>> Do you happen to remember the name of the book from APH?
>>> I've found some books of interest from Through the Looking Glass, 
>>> but I'm wondering if I can find them for much less than they are 
>>> being sold by TLG.
>>> I completely understand the need to recover costs of printing and 
>>> such, but
>>> $35-$45 per book is a bit pricy in my opinion.
>>> The books are:
>>> The Adoption Experience: A Prospective Guide for Parents with 
>>> Disabilities and their Advocates Ella Callow, JD
>>>
>>> You May Be Able to Adopt: A Guide to the Adoption Process for 
>>> Prospective Mothers with Disabilities Linda Toms Barker, Megan 
>>> Kirshbaum, PhD, et al.
>>>
>>> Mothers with Visual Impairments Who Are Raising Young Children 
>>> (Sorry I don't have the author's name.) I've looked on Bookshare, 
>>> and they do not have these books available. My next place to look is
NLS.
>>> Thanks again to everyone for your wonderful help, and happy new year!
>>>
>>> In Christ, Miranda
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of sharon howerton
>>> Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2011 11:04 AM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with 
>>> avisualimpairment
>>>
>>> Miranda, I think Debbie's suggestion about the pamphlet is a good 
>>> one; sorry I forgot about that.
>>> As for the audible alarm or chimes, you might check with a Lowe's or 
>>> somewhere like that to get an economically priced alarm system; it 
>>> doesn't have to be anything fancy, just something to alert you when 
>>> a door is opened. Again, good luck; I hope we can provide answers 
>>> for you and those with whom you are working.
>>> Sharon
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Miranda B." <knownoflove at gmail.com>
>>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Friday, December 30, 2011 8:27 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with 
>>> avisualimpairment
>>>
>>>
>>>> Hi Sharon,
>>>> Thanks for your comments and encouragement! We're actually looking 
>>>> into the door chimes, and we'd appreciate any information anyone 
>>>> can give about models of chimes. We're wanting to put chimes on the 
>>>> child's bedroom door and our front door in our home. So, we're 
>>>> hoping to not spend a ton of money on these chimes.
>>>> Thank you also for the other tips and again for your encouragement.
>>>> We're very interested in the book from APH and will be looking into 
>>>> this. We've also referred our new caseworker to "Parenting without 
>>>> sight", and we've encouraged her to send this to the state workers 
>>>> as well as a resource to view and share.
>>>> Happy New year!
>>>>
>>>> In Christ, Miranda
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>> On Behalf Of sharon howerton
>>>> Sent: Friday, December 30, 2011 8:08 PM
>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with 
>>>> a visualimpairment
>>>>
>>>> Miranda, do you have an auditory indicator on your outside doors 
>>>> that might beep when a door is opened? We had this when my sons 
>>>> were young, I noticed it in a friend's house (both parents are 
>>>> blind and they have two grown children but when I was there, the 
>>>> kids were in their teens) but more recently I noticed it in a condo 
>>>> we
looked at.
>>>> Another interesting tip came from one of my first Parenting 
>>>> students, a grandma taking care of her then two or so year old 
>>>> granddaughter. She said she closed the doors to rooms where she did 
>>>> not want her little one to go and put different kinds of wind 
>>>> chimes on the doors so she could tell which one was opened.
>>>> Finally, APH is coming out with a new book with strictly tips for 
>>>> blind parents. I read the preliminary version but do not know when 
>>>> it will be available to the public; I reviewed it a year ago.
>>>> I sincerely wish you well and if can be of any further help, please 
>>>> let me know.
>>>> Your comments about foster care remind me of another student who is 
>>>> volunteering at a daycare center. One part deals with foster kids 
>>>> and the other with children of more normal families. She said she 
>>>> was being observed and scrutinized so much when she worked in the 
>>>> foster care section that she finally just got out of it altogether 
>>>> so I empathize with your concerns and hope you will be able to 
>>>> succeed. You and Andy have sure worked hard and long at this process.
>>>> Sharon
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Miranda B." <knownoflove at gmail.com>
>>>> To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Friday, December 30, 2011 6:51 PM
>>>> Subject: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with a 
>>>> visualimpairment
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Hi,
>>>>>
>>>>> For those of you who know me and have talked with me for any 
>>>>> length of time, you may find the subject of this email a bit 
>>>>> puzzling, so please let me explain.
>>>>>
>>>>> As some of you may know, my husband and I are currently in the 
>>>>> process of being licensed as foster parents. After sending our 
>>>>> home study to the state for approval, our caseworker (through a 
>>>>> private
>>>>> agency) received notice from the state that they are requesting 
>>>>> more information. They are asking her to investigate further 
>>>>> resources and information about how we will keep a child in our 
>>>>> home safe as foster parents who happen to be Blind. The state has 
>>>>> made it very clear that they are not wanting to discriminate in 
>>>>> any way, but that they are requesting more information from many 
>>>>> families regarding child safety due to recent incidents in our 
>>>>> foster care system. They are also wanting more information than 
>>>>> usual from those applying to be foster parents who have never been
> parents before this.
>>>>>
>>>>> In return, we have answered basic questions of safety as best as 
>>>>> we can and we've reiterated that we have all childproofing in 
>>>>> place in our home (our case was recently transferred to a 
>>>>> caseworker who knows us but has not recently been in our home.) We 
>>>>> want to approach this situation with the intent to educate the 
>>>>> state about resources for Blind parents, and adaptions we make as 
>>>>> parents who are visually impaired. We have made it clear that 
>>>>> there is a fine line between wanting more information and 
>>>>> discrimination (whether intentional or
>>>>> not) and that we will appeal any denial for licensing should the 
>>>>> need arise. We are taking a Hadley parenting course, and this has 
>>>>> been documented. We've told our caseworker about the NFB and other 
>>>>> Blindness organizations. Now, we are coming to you for tips and 
>>>>> advice. Can you tell us adaptions you made to keep your children safe?
>>>>> These
>>>>> could be adaption for medical care, making sure they didn't run 
>>>>> out the door of your home, keeping them safe while you are 
>>>>> cooking,
ETC.
>>>>> Anything you cn think of we'd appreciate it! Also, for those of 
>>>>> you who have adopted or been licensed as foster parents, if you 
>>>>> could provide any tips or advice on this matter this would also be 
>>>>> greatly appreciated!
>>>>>
>>>>> Lastly, if you can think of any resources at all to pass along to 
>>>>> our caseworker and the state, we'd appreciate any thing you can 
>>>>> think
> of.
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks in advance for any help you can give, and happy new year!
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> In Christ, Miranda
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blparent mailing list
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>>>>> t
>>>>
>>>>
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