[blparent] How do you know you're a mother? (time to lighten up andlaugh)

[Peggy]

Oh too funny, I can relate to too many of these to list!!  The barf one is 
oh so true, for my kids or a dog ... too great, thanks for sharing.



-----Original Message----- 
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, January 10, 2012 6:37 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] How do you know you're a mother? (time to lighten up 
andlaugh)

I saw this and thought I'd share.  A little gross, don't read if you're 
squeamish, but it never hurts to laugh.



Jo Elizabeth



A few months ago, I was in the grocery store roaming the bread isle. Wheat, 
white, pita, English muffins ... Boring, boring, boring. And, then I spotted 
it: Goldfish Sandwich Bread. There, right in between the milk and the exotic 
food aisle, I squealed. Bread, in the shape of a giant Goldfish cracker?! My 
kids would be psyched!! This was the best trip to Safeway EVER!!! Wooo-hooo!

And, then it hit me: I am such a mother.

I asked my friends for their "motherhood moments" and the answers made me 
laugh -- I can relate to every single one ... What about you?

25. Your new accessories consist of boogers, spit up and pieces of food on 
your outfit.  -- Monica

24. Your kid starts to throw up and you hold out your hands to catch it 
because you're no where near the toilet. Then you hold the crying child, 
getting barf in your hair and that's the least of your concerns. -- Amy

23. When going grocery shopping alone is considered "Me time" -- Lizette

22. You quietly wipe a butt (and remember to not flush!) while on a business 
call. --- Laura

21. Your six year old daughter has more shoes and a cuter wardrobe than 
you. -- Patti

20. You pick someone else's boogers and it's no big deal. -- Melissa

19. You actually like driving a mini van. -- Jody

18. When you know 1 million things to clean with BABY WIPES! -- Diana

17. When you feel the need to stick a bottle in the mouth of anyone 
upset. -- Michelle

16. You carry human teeth in your purse.  -- Penny

15. You just forced them into bed and you've had enough then an hour later 
you're bawling your eyes out at their baby pics. -- Nermeen

14. You hold your poop till 11 p.m. so that you can go without an 
audience... -- Evin

13. ?"What kind of poop was it?" counts as stimulating conversation.  --  
JoAnna

12.  When you jam out to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song while driving and 
realize you just dropped off the little one at daycare. -- LeKisha

11. When you have extra underwear and leggings and emergency fruit snacks 
stashed in your purse and glove compartment at all times! --- Kathryn

10. You can do 6 different things at the same time.  -- Donna

9. You hear a kid going bananas in public and as soon as you see it's not 
yours, you're thrilled.  -- Stacey

8. Walk out of the house, realize there's poop on your shirt, and scrape it 
off with your nail instead of going back inside to change. -- Erin

7. When you hear someone else's newborn do her little gurgle cry and you 
think "awww, I wish I could hold her" rather than "OMG make it stop!" --  
Brandy

6. You are more likely to find cheese sticks, diapers and yogurt in your 
purse than a mirror. -- Liana

5. You spent half the day with a "You Went Potty!!!!" sticker in your hair 
and no one told you. -- Tiffany

4. You have embraced the fact that an uninterrupted nap excites you more 
than uninterrupted sex. -- Kimberly

3. You clench your nether regions just before a sneeze so you don't pee. --  
Kelly

2. You eat a rogue Froot Loop off the floor and never think twice. And you 
don't even look around to see if someone's watching. -- Susan

1. The last thing you do on a vacation is relax.  -- Kimberly



How did you know you were a mother?

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I dreamed I met God. He sneezed, and I didn't know what to say to Him.