[blparent] How do you know you're a mother? (time to lightenup andlaugh)

Thu Jan 12 03:37:52 UTC 2012

The first time my baby threw up, I remember wondering how a baby could barf 
that much and live.  It seemed so much to come out of such a tiny little 
body.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of 
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of 
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
Sent: Wednesday, January 11, 2012 8:09 PM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you know you're a mother? (time to lightenupandlaugh)> I was just thinking as you said that, the first time Gab barfed, I swung 
my
> nigh gown out and caught it all.  And it amazed me that I did not follow
> suit.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Peggy
> Sent: Wednesday, January 11, 2012 7:14 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you know you're a mother? (time to lighten 
> up
> andlaugh)
>
> Oh too funny, I can relate to too many of these to list!!  The barf one is
> oh so true, for my kids or a dog ... too great, thanks for sharing.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Tuesday, January 10, 2012 6:37 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] How do you know you're a mother? (time to lighten up
> andlaugh)
>
> I saw this and thought I'd share.  A little gross, don't read if you're
> squeamish, but it never hurts to laugh.
>
>
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
>
>
> A few months ago, I was in the grocery store roaming the bread isle. 
> Wheat,
> white, pita, English muffins ... Boring, boring, boring. And, then I 
> spotted
>
> it: Goldfish Sandwich Bread. There, right in between the milk and the 
> exotic
>
> food aisle, I squealed. Bread, in the shape of a giant Goldfish cracker?! 
> My
>
> kids would be psyched!! This was the best trip to Safeway EVER!!! 
> Wooo-hooo!
>
> And, then it hit me: I am such a mother.
>
> I asked my friends for their "motherhood moments" and the answers made me
> laugh -- I can relate to every single one ... What about you?
>
> 25. Your new accessories consist of boogers, spit up and pieces of food on
> your outfit.  -- Monica
>
> 24. Your kid starts to throw up and you hold out your hands to catch it
> because you're no where near the toilet. Then you hold the crying child,
> getting barf in your hair and that's the least of your concerns. -- Amy
>
> 23. When going grocery shopping alone is considered "Me time" -- Lizette
>
> 22. You quietly wipe a butt (and remember to not flush!) while on a 
> business
>
> call. --- Laura
>
> 21. Your six year old daughter has more shoes and a cuter wardrobe than
> you. -- Patti
>
> 20. You pick someone else's boogers and it's no big deal. -- Melissa
>
> 19. You actually like driving a mini van. -- Jody
>
> 18. When you know 1 million things to clean with BABY WIPES! -- Diana
>
> 17. When you feel the need to stick a bottle in the mouth of anyone
> upset. -- Michelle
>
> 16. You carry human teeth in your purse.  -- Penny
>
> 15. You just forced them into bed and you've had enough then an hour later
> you're bawling your eyes out at their baby pics. -- Nermeen
>
> 14. You hold your poop till 11 p.m. so that you can go without an
> audience... -- Evin
>
> 13. ?"What kind of poop was it?" counts as stimulating conversation.  --
> JoAnna
>
> 12.  When you jam out to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song while driving and
> realize you just dropped off the little one at daycare. -- LeKisha
>
> 11. When you have extra underwear and leggings and emergency fruit snacks
> stashed in your purse and glove compartment at all times! --- Kathryn
>
> 10. You can do 6 different things at the same time.  -- Donna
>
> 9. You hear a kid going bananas in public and as soon as you see it's not
> yours, you're thrilled.  -- Stacey
>
> 8. Walk out of the house, realize there's poop on your shirt, and scrape 
> it
> off with your nail instead of going back inside to change. -- Erin
>
> 7. When you hear someone else's newborn do her little gurgle cry and you
> think "awww, I wish I could hold her" rather than "OMG make it stop!" --
> Brandy
>
> 6. You are more likely to find cheese sticks, diapers and yogurt in your
> purse than a mirror. -- Liana
>
> 5. You spent half the day with a "You Went Potty!!!!" sticker in your hair
> and no one told you. -- Tiffany
>
> 4. You have embraced the fact that an uninterrupted nap excites you more
> than uninterrupted sex. -- Kimberly
>
> 3. You clench your nether regions just before a sneeze so you don't 
> pee. --
>
> Kelly
>
> 2. You eat a rogue Froot Loop off the floor and never think twice. And you
> don't even look around to see if someone's watching. -- Susan
>
> 1. The last thing you do on a vacation is relax.  -- Kimberly
>
>
>
> How did you know you were a mother?
>
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>
> I dreamed I met God. He sneezed, and I didn't know what to say to Him.
>
>
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