[blparent] Behavior problems

Sun Jan 15 00:54:54 UTC 2012

What about seeing if there is a women in destress center nearby?  They have 
programs just for single Mothers and from what I remember from what you 
wrote before, the free counsling may be helpful.

H.T.H.
Kate
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Miranda B." <knownoflove at gmail.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 7:16 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems

> Hi,
> You might try to see if there is a Love Inc. in your city. If you give me
> your city and state, I may be able to help you do some research.
> You might be able to Google low-income housing and your city. I'm glad you
> are planning to move out. This sounds like an unhealthy situation at the
> moment.
>
> In Christ, Miranda
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 5:43 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
>    Yes. I'm determined to move out , been planning to do it, but don't 
> know
> where to look for such an agency. I don't want my parents help because 
> mthey
> have made it clear to me that they don't want their grandson in a low 
> income
> housing. So, I'm being tugged at from all directions. My son has told me 
> he
> doesn't want to move with out them or he'll be sad. I told him that we 
> can't
> live here forever and grandma doesn't want us here forever either.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Kate McEachern
> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 3:50 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
> I think with your current situation it will be difficult to get back 
> control
> of your son. You have allowed your parents to parent your child and now 
> you
> wish they would just stay out of it. You should consider moving out with
> your son and parenting on your own so that your parents have a brake. I
> think you should see if there are agencies that help low income Mothers 
> and
> children find housing rather then asking your parents to help.
>
> As the parent of a gifted child I can tell you that having three adults
> arguing over discipline has given him a window to work with to get what he
> wants and for his benefit you should tell your Dad to back off and stay 
> out
> of it.
>
> Gifted kids are sensitive and hardheaded at the same time most ESE 
> programs
> will allow gifted children to see a guidance counselor once or twice a 
> week
> to help with issues with regard to playing with children and how the child
> feels with the running of the family. My gifted 9 year old is seeing a
> guidance counselor and this has been wonderful for our family. It has 
> helped
> with classroom behavior and behavior at home. Don't parent gifted children
> the same as average children trust me it doesn't work.
>
> HTH.
>
> Kate
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at gmail.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 6:00 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
>
>>    Thank you for all the advice.
>>
>> My son brought home another bad report today. I had him do that follow 
>> the
>
>> directions, when he got home.
>> I just have a few questions. I know that punishment should fit the crime,
>> but papa doesn't think taking him out of soccer is a good idea. He's
>> concerned about physical activity. Then there's the completely removing
>> the Nintendo Wii all together. or the one that makes my son cry hard,
>> taking away a favorite stuffed animal that was a Christmas gift.
>> What do you think I should do?
>>
>> When my son cries, it is heart breaking and then I don't know what to do.
>> I want to be the one who punishes not my parents. They are only grandma
>> and grandpa. My kid is not their son to raise. It feels like because I'm
>> blind I've lost my role.
>>
>> I agree that detention does nothing to teach a child right from wrong.
>> It's just something for schools because they can't do any spanking or
>> smacking of the kid.
>>
>> I have thought about putting him in a gifted school. But it is like a
>> private school. There are less children in each class and the teachers 
>> can
>
>> work one on one with each kid. There's a problem with it though. It's not
>> close by and it's a bit pricey. They do offer financial aid, but I still
>> can't afford it. I really don't like the public school system here.
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message----- 
>> From: jan wright
>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 1:19 PM
>> To: blparent
>> Subject: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>
>> Hi Nikki,
>> My take is slightly different and never meant to criticize, so please
>> take it for what it is worht.
>> If you can use any suggestion: Great! If not, just disregard.
>>
>> Your son could be tired of school-like activities, especially ones
>> that might seem to him to be mundain and have no reason.
>> Chores and a scavenger hunt are all great ideas!
>> there are also memory games that build on following  directions. the
>> directions get more complicated as the game goes on.
>> My older children have been through the detention phase and honestly,
>> I see very little reason for it.
>> There is a silver lining if you can get your child to understand why
>> he is there and how he can avoid it: other than that, I find
>> detention, much like suspention etc, as ways for school staff to put
>> all problems in one room to either punish or not disrupt the "non
>> problem" students -- which doesn't exactly help your guy any.
>> Most kids in detention just sit and widdle away the time: or make "not
>> so good" connections with others who are in detention.
>> And, don't get my started on medicating for behavioral purposese. (ugg)
>> Maybe your child need a different learning environment.
>> I would try to find out if there is a certain time of day when he has
>> a hard time following directions,
>> what else is going on in the classroom,
>> how is he feeling about the work that he is doing,
>> .
>> when you give your son "something" to do, make sure that he repeats it
>> back to you. That will let you know that he understands the direction
>> and is cued into you.
>> When/if he gets off task, find out why. did he just get distracted or
>> is he purposely not doing what he is told because he finds it too much
>> effort or boring or whatever???
>> Sometimes, it is a good idea if he can write the list himself: and
>> make it meaningful.
>> For example:
>> when I get home, I am to:
>> take out the trash (obvious reason for that one),
>> pick up my room,
>> go through each paper in my bookbag with mom,
>> etc.
>> Try not to make the tasks so many that he is overwhelmed. Just a
>> couple at first.
>> And, try to make them easy enough that you can verify if they are
>> finished.
>> Remind him to look at his list. It will be more interesting if he
>> makes it. And, maybe ask him if he thinks there is anything else he
>> wants to add.
>> Also, show him your to do lists  sometimes. Remind him that we all
>> must follow directions. We are all told what to do by "someone"
>> And, you could even talk about doing things that you don't necessarily
>> want to do, but must.
>> Also, maybe he needs some instant gratification for following those
>> directions. "When these things are done, you can have your snack."
>> then, when he gets off task, you can remind him to look at list and
>> remind him of his reward when he is finished.
>> Just some thoughts.
>> Dr. William Sears has a website:
>> www.askdrsears.com
>> which might be helpful.
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>>
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40gmail.com
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/kflsouth%40gmail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40gmail.com
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/knownoflove%40gmail.co
> m
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/kflsouth%40gmail.com 