[blparent] Behavior problems

Mon Jan 16 01:29:00 UTC 2012

Your in a bad situation and I do think you should move with your son.  Being 
a single parent 9is hard but it can work if you have a plan.  I became a 
single parent overnight so my plan was out of wack but you'll be fine just 
do your best.
Kate
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 10:28 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems


>    The counseling I was getting was personal. I t helped a little, but not 
> in this case.
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Kate McEachern
> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 6:54 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
> What about seeing if there is a women in destress center nearby?  They 
> have
> programs just for single Mothers and from what I remember from what you
> wrote before, the free counsling may be helpful.
>
> H.T.H.
> Kate
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Miranda B." <knownoflove at gmail.com>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 7:16 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
>
>> Hi,
>> You might try to see if there is a Love Inc. in your city. If you give me
>> your city and state, I may be able to help you do some research.
>> You might be able to Google low-income housing and your city. I'm glad 
>> you
>> are planning to move out. This sounds like an unhealthy situation at the
>> moment.
>>
>> In Christ, Miranda
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Nikki
>> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 5:43 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>
>>    Yes. I'm determined to move out , been planning to do it, but don't 
>> know
>> where to look for such an agency. I don't want my parents help because 
>> mthey
>> have made it clear to me that they don't want their grandson in a low 
>> income
>> housing. So, I'm being tugged at from all directions. My son has told me 
>> he
>> doesn't want to move with out them or he'll be sad. I told him that we 
>> can't
>> live here forever and grandma doesn't want us here forever either.
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Kate McEachern
>> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 3:50 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>
>> I think with your current situation it will be difficult to get back 
>> control
>> of your son. You have allowed your parents to parent your child and now 
>> you
>> wish they would just stay out of it. You should consider moving out with
>> your son and parenting on your own so that your parents have a brake. I
>> think you should see if there are agencies that help low income Mothers 
>> and
>> children find housing rather then asking your parents to help.
>>
>> As the parent of a gifted child I can tell you that having three adults
>> arguing over discipline has given him a window to work with to get what 
>> he
>> wants and for his benefit you should tell your Dad to back off and stay 
>> out
>> of it.
>>
>> Gifted kids are sensitive and hardheaded at the same time most ESE 
>> programs
>> will allow gifted children to see a guidance counselor once or twice a 
>> week
>> to help with issues with regard to playing with children and how the 
>> child
>> feels with the running of the family. My gifted 9 year old is seeing a
>> guidance counselor and this has been wonderful for our family. It has 
>> helped
>> with classroom behavior and behavior at home. Don't parent gifted 
>> children
>> the same as average children trust me it doesn't work.
>>
>> HTH.
>>
>> Kate
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at gmail.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 6:00 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>
>>
>>>    Thank you for all the advice.
>>>
>>> My son brought home another bad report today. I had him do that follow 
>>> the
>>
>>> directions, when he got home.
>>> I just have a few questions. I know that punishment should fit the 
>>> crime,
>>> but papa doesn't think taking him out of soccer is a good idea. He's
>>> concerned about physical activity. Then there's the completely removing
>>> the Nintendo Wii all together. or the one that makes my son cry hard,
>>> taking away a favorite stuffed animal that was a Christmas gift.
>>> What do you think I should do?
>>>
>>> When my son cries, it is heart breaking and then I don't know what to 
>>> do.
>>> I want to be the one who punishes not my parents. They are only grandma
>>> and grandpa. My kid is not their son to raise. It feels like because I'm
>>> blind I've lost my role.
>>>
>>> I agree that detention does nothing to teach a child right from wrong.
>>> It's just something for schools because they can't do any spanking or
>>> smacking of the kid.
>>>
>>> I have thought about putting him in a gifted school. But it is like a
>>> private school. There are less children in each class and the teachers 
>>> can
>>
>>> work one on one with each kid. There's a problem with it though. It's 
>>> not
>>> close by and it's a bit pricey. They do offer financial aid, but I still
>>> can't afford it. I really don't like the public school system here.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message----- 
>>> From: jan wright
>>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 1:19 PM
>>> To: blparent
>>> Subject: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>
>>> Hi Nikki,
>>> My take is slightly different and never meant to criticize, so please
>>> take it for what it is worht.
>>> If you can use any suggestion: Great! If not, just disregard.
>>>
>>> Your son could be tired of school-like activities, especially ones
>>> that might seem to him to be mundain and have no reason.
>>> Chores and a scavenger hunt are all great ideas!
>>> there are also memory games that build on following  directions. the
>>> directions get more complicated as the game goes on.
>>> My older children have been through the detention phase and honestly,
>>> I see very little reason for it.
>>> There is a silver lining if you can get your child to understand why
>>> he is there and how he can avoid it: other than that, I find
>>> detention, much like suspention etc, as ways for school staff to put
>>> all problems in one room to either punish or not disrupt the "non
>>> problem" students -- which doesn't exactly help your guy any.
>>> Most kids in detention just sit and widdle away the time: or make "not
>>> so good" connections with others who are in detention.
>>> And, don't get my started on medicating for behavioral purposese. (ugg)
>>> Maybe your child need a different learning environment.
>>> I would try to find out if there is a certain time of day when he has
>>> a hard time following directions,
>>> what else is going on in the classroom,
>>> how is he feeling about the work that he is doing,
>>> .
>>> when you give your son "something" to do, make sure that he repeats it
>>> back to you. That will let you know that he understands the direction
>>> and is cued into you.
>>> When/if he gets off task, find out why. did he just get distracted or
>>> is he purposely not doing what he is told because he finds it too much
>>> effort or boring or whatever???
>>> Sometimes, it is a good idea if he can write the list himself: and
>>> make it meaningful.
>>> For example:
>>> when I get home, I am to:
>>> take out the trash (obvious reason for that one),
>>> pick up my room,
>>> go through each paper in my bookbag with mom,
>>> etc.
>>> Try not to make the tasks so many that he is overwhelmed. Just a
>>> couple at first.
>>> And, try to make them easy enough that you can verify if they are
>>> finished.
>>> Remind him to look at his list. It will be more interesting if he
>>> makes it. And, maybe ask him if he thinks there is anything else he
>>> wants to add.
>>> Also, show him your to do lists  sometimes. Remind him that we all
>>> must follow directions. We are all told what to do by "someone"
>>> And, you could even talk about doing things that you don't necessarily
>>> want to do, but must.
>>> Also, maybe he needs some instant gratification for following those
>>> directions. "When these things are done, you can have your snack."
>>> then, when he gets off task, you can remind him to look at list and
>>> remind him of his reward when he is finished.
>>> Just some thoughts.
>>> Dr. William Sears has a website:
>>> www.askdrsears.com
>>> which might be helpful.
>>>
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>>
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>>
>>
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>
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