[blparent] Behavior problems

Mon Jan 16 17:02:44 UTC 2012

Tammy,
You are his mom, if you don't want him on meds, then don't let him be on 
meds. Are there alternatives in Canada i.e. therapy, other schools that 
provide different ways of learning, and such? If that is the route you want 
to take and can, then do it.
Pipi
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tammy" <tcl189 at rogers.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 10:40 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems


> Hi,
>
> I don't know enough about either adhd or gifted children to know the 
> differences between them.  So I can't make a decision there.  I think my 
> son is totally bored in school, but they think there's a problem and so 
> they'll do this assessment and come up with an answer.  He'll either be 
> normal, boared or adhd and his principle thinks the latter.  His teacher 
> doesn't, and neither do I, but we have to help him somehow.  My main 
> concern is that adhd is used to label kids as problem children in primary 
> school, they're put on meds and all better without actually looking to see 
> if maybe there's a root cause.  My experience with this doctor is that he 
> might be good with kids but he is seriously lacking in his ability to deal 
> with adults.  I'm afraid they'll put Colyn on some form of ridilin and my 
> little boy will turn in to some dispassionate robot who's top of his class 
> but with no emotions or feelings.  that's very extreme, but I think you 
> get the picture.
>
> Tammy
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Jennifer Jackson
> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 10:28 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
> What makes you think he can not be both? ADHD is very common in gifted
> children. ADHD can be a gift of kinds. Many people get paid the big bucks
> for being able to eat, sleep, and breath a project. Moderation is not 
> always
> valued over the ability to hyper focus. Yes, I struggle for moderation in
> daily life and with raising my kids, but I love being able to really 
> tackle
> a project. ADHD just means that someone's brain functions differently. 
> Those
> differences make getting through the modern public education system a
> struggle.
>
> Of course kids with ADHD or who are gifted in some other way can also
> struggle with the same problems as more typical children. A lack of clear
> and consistent parenting is even harder on these kids. Still, the thing is
> that we all do the best we can do with what we have.
>
>
> Jennifer
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Tammy
> Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:16 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
> Hi,
>
> What are the tests done to determine if your child is gifted as opposed to
> adhd or are they totally different?  Colyn loves math and science, and I
> mean anything math or science, can focus and follow instructions and
> understand everything perfectly.  but when he's doing something like 
> reading
>
> a story or whatever he gets distracted and doesn't want to do the work.  I
> thought maybe it's bordom but this psychiatrist is wanting to do this
> assessment and the school is going to try to put him on some sort of meds.
> I don't know that for sure but the principal's been hinting at it for a
> couple of months now.  I don't want to put him on anything, i don't think
> putting him on meds for something that might be better solved by 
> alternative
>
> learning strategies or maybe a different school is a good idea.  He 
> already
> has enough to deal with.  So what should I do in this situation?
>
> Thanks for any help,
> Tammy
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Kate McEachern
> Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:35 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
> Yes, as the parent of a gifted child I can relate to being guilty of 
> falling
> in to the traps of thinking I was going to have this brilliant kid on my
> hands. Boy was I out of my mind. This kid is unorganized, is distractible,
> is eccentric as hell, and no she did not test in the levels for ADD. She 
> is
> mentally stable and has no defects found by cat scan.
>
> And get this, I read a week ago that gifted kids with a sister or brother
> pass on the gifted genes. So I will be a single Mom of two gifted kids.
>
> Kate
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 10:12 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>
>
>> Oh how I wish I was given that advice while raising my gifted children,
>> don't try to parent gifted children like you would average children
>> because it doesn't work ... no truer words have been spoken, written??
>> lol.  When I found out my daughter was gifted I thought, great, this will
>> be an easy child to parent ... oh heavens no!!  And I'm still trying to
>> figure out my son!!  lol.
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message----- 
>> From: Kate McEachern
>> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 3:50 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>
>> I think with your current situation it will be difficult to get back
>> control
>> of your son. You have allowed your parents to parent your child and now
>> you
>> wish they would just stay out of it. You should consider moving out with
>> your son and parenting on your own so that your parents have a brake. I
>> think you should see if there are agencies that help low income Mothers
>> and
>> children find housing rather then asking your parents to help.
>>
>> As the parent of a gifted child I can tell you that having three adults
>> arguing over discipline has given him a window to work with to get what 
>> he
>> wants and for his benefit you should tell your Dad to back off and stay
>> out
>> of it.
>>
>> Gifted kids are sensitive and hardheaded at the same time most ESE
>> programs
>> will allow gifted children to see a guidance counselor once or twice a
>> week
>> to help with issues with regard to playing with children and how the 
>> child
>> feels with the running of the family. My gifted 9 year old is seeing a
>> guidance counselor and this has been wonderful for our family. It has
>> helped
>> with classroom behavior and behavior at home. Don't parent gifted 
>> children
>> the same as average children trust me it doesn't work.
>>
>> HTH.
>>
>> Kate
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at gmail.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 6:00 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>
>>
>>>    Thank you for all the advice.
>>>
>>> My son brought home another bad report today. I had him do that follow
>>> the directions, when he got home.
>>> I just have a few questions. I know that punishment should fit the 
>>> crime,
>
>>> but papa doesn't think taking him out of soccer is a good idea. He's
>>> concerned about physical activity. Then there's the completely removing
>>> the Nintendo Wii all together. or the one that makes my son cry hard,
>>> taking away a favorite stuffed animal that was a Christmas gift.
>>> What do you think I should do?
>>>
>>> When my son cries, it is heart breaking and then I don't know what to 
>>> do.
>
>>> I want to be the one who punishes not my parents. They are only grandma
>>> and grandpa. My kid is not their son to raise. It feels like because I'm
>>> blind I've lost my role.
>>>
>>> I agree that detention does nothing to teach a child right from wrong.
>>> It's just something for schools because they can't do any spanking or
>>> smacking of the kid.
>>>
>>> I have thought about putting him in a gifted school. But it is like a
>>> private school. There are less children in each class and the teachers
>>> can work one on one with each kid. There's a problem with it though. 
>>> It's
>
>>> not close by and it's a bit pricey. They do offer financial aid, but I
>>> still can't afford it. I really don't like the public school system 
>>> here.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message----- 
>>> From: jan wright
>>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 1:19 PM
>>> To: blparent
>>> Subject: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>
>>> Hi Nikki,
>>> My take is slightly different and never meant to criticize, so please
>>> take it for what it is worht.
>>> If you can use any suggestion: Great! If not, just disregard.
>>>
>>> Your son could be tired of school-like activities, especially ones
>>> that might seem to him to be mundain and have no reason.
>>> Chores and a scavenger hunt are all great ideas!
>>> there are also memory games that build on following  directions. the
>>> directions get more complicated as the game goes on.
>>> My older children have been through the detention phase and honestly,
>>> I see very little reason for it.
>>> There is a silver lining if you can get your child to understand why
>>> he is there and how he can avoid it: other than that, I find
>>> detention, much like suspention etc, as ways for school staff to put
>>> all problems in one room to either punish or not disrupt the "non
>>> problem" students -- which doesn't exactly help your guy any.
>>> Most kids in detention just sit and widdle away the time: or make "not
>>> so good" connections with others who are in detention.
>>> And, don't get my started on medicating for behavioral purposese. (ugg)
>>> Maybe your child need a different learning environment.
>>> I would try to find out if there is a certain time of day when he has
>>> a hard time following directions,
>>> what else is going on in the classroom,
>>> how is he feeling about the work that he is doing,
>>> .
>>> when you give your son "something" to do, make sure that he repeats it
>>> back to you. That will let you know that he understands the direction
>>> and is cued into you.
>>> When/if he gets off task, find out why. did he just get distracted or
>>> is he purposely not doing what he is told because he finds it too much
>>> effort or boring or whatever???
>>> Sometimes, it is a good idea if he can write the list himself: and
>>> make it meaningful.
>>> For example:
>>> when I get home, I am to:
>>> take out the trash (obvious reason for that one),
>>> pick up my room,
>>> go through each paper in my bookbag with mom,
>>> etc.
>>> Try not to make the tasks so many that he is overwhelmed. Just a
>>> couple at first.
>>> And, try to make them easy enough that you can verify if they are
>>> finished.
>>> Remind him to look at his list. It will be more interesting if he
>>> makes it. And, maybe ask him if he thinks there is anything else he
>>> wants to add.
>>> Also, show him your to do lists  sometimes. Remind him that we all
>>> must follow directions. We are all told what to do by "someone"
>>> And, you could even talk about doing things that you don't necessarily
>>> want to do, but must.
>>> Also, maybe he needs some instant gratification for following those
>>> directions. "When these things are done, you can have your snack."
>>> then, when he gets off task, you can remind him to look at list and
>>> remind him of his reward when he is finished.
>>> Just some thoughts.
>>> Dr. William Sears has a website:
>>> www.askdrsears.com
>>> which might be helpful.
>>>
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>>
>>
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>>
>>
>>
>> I dreamed I met God. He sneezed, and I didn't know what to say to Him.
>>
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>
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