[blparent] Behavior problems

Wed Jan 18 03:43:47 UTC 2012

Thanks for this.

No one is prommiced that a charmed life comes with a education or a job will 
be givin because of having a Docterit.  We role the dice and make the best 
out of the cards.

Kate
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 9:57 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems

>I agree, not all low income  housing is completely bad. I mean, before I 
>became and experienced the success and financial freedom I do today. 
>growing up as a child and in to early adult hood I was broke, poor and 
>lived in these type of housing invoronments and neighborhoods. and well, I 
>just think its wrong for me now to forget where I come from. but now that I 
>am in a higher financial bracket doesn't mean I am ammuned to ever going 
>back. therfore I am not judgemental and I resent anyone who is towards that 
>sort of living environment.
> Gabe Vega - Sent from my Apple Mac Mini
> Hit me up Voice/Text: (623) 565-9357
> Email: theblindtech at gmail.com
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/blindtech
> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/blindtech
> Website: http://thebt.net
>
> On Jan 17, 2012, at 7:50 PM, Kate McEachern wrote:
>
>> I would like to point out that not all low income housing is "the hood". 
>> Yes, there can be ishues but people want a dry place to stay rather then 
>> the park bench and if some one is unhappy they have a right to leave.  We 
>> all have the right to make mistakes in life.  And low income housing 
>> isn't the end of the housing road.  Its a place to get on your feet and 
>> dust yourself off.  Yes some people never get out but that is their 
>> choice if that is the house they are happy with then so be it.
>>
>> Kate
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" 
>> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:27 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>
>>
>>> Sounds like you may be cutting off your nose to spite your face.
>>> Have you been to low income housing? There are good reasons your parents 
>>> don't want their grandchild living there.
>>> I get that you want to be on your own, but not the expense of your 
>>> economic and emotional health and that of your child's.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>>> On Behalf Of Nikki
>>> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 5:43 PM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>
>>>   Yes. I'm determined to move out , been planning to do it, but don't 
>>> know
>>> where to look for such an agency. I don't want my parents help because 
>>> mthey
>>> have made it clear to me that they don't want their grandson in a low 
>>> income
>>> housing. So, I'm being tugged at from all directions. My son has told me 
>>> he
>>> doesn't want to move with out them or he'll be sad. I told him that we 
>>> can't
>>> live here forever and grandma doesn't want us here forever either.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Kate McEachern
>>> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 3:50 PM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>
>>> I think with your current situation it will be difficult to get back 
>>> control
>>> of your son. You have allowed your parents to parent your child and now 
>>> you
>>> wish they would just stay out of it. You should consider moving out with
>>> your son and parenting on your own so that your parents have a brake. I
>>> think you should see if there are agencies that help low income Mothers 
>>> and
>>> children find housing rather then asking your parents to help.
>>>
>>> As the parent of a gifted child I can tell you that having three adults
>>> arguing over discipline has given him a window to work with to get what 
>>> he
>>> wants and for his benefit you should tell your Dad to back off and stay 
>>> out
>>> of it.
>>>
>>> Gifted kids are sensitive and hardheaded at the same time most ESE 
>>> programs
>>> will allow gifted children to see a guidance counselor once or twice a 
>>> week
>>> to help with issues with regard to playing with children and how the 
>>> child
>>> feels with the running of the family. My gifted 9 year old is seeing a
>>> guidance counselor and this has been wonderful for our family. It has 
>>> helped
>>> with classroom behavior and behavior at home. Don't parent gifted 
>>> children
>>> the same as average children trust me it doesn't work.
>>>
>>> HTH.
>>>
>>> Kate
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at gmail.com>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 6:00 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>
>>>
>>>>   Thank you for all the advice.
>>>>
>>>> My son brought home another bad report today. I had him do that follow 
>>>> the
>>>> directions, when he got home.
>>>> I just have a few questions. I know that punishment should fit the 
>>>> crime,
>>>> but papa doesn't think taking him out of soccer is a good idea. He's
>>>> concerned about physical activity. Then there's the completely removing
>>>> the Nintendo Wii all together. or the one that makes my son cry hard,
>>>> taking away a favorite stuffed animal that was a Christmas gift.
>>>> What do you think I should do?
>>>>
>>>> When my son cries, it is heart breaking and then I don't know what to 
>>>> do.
>>>> I want to be the one who punishes not my parents. They are only grandma
>>>> and grandpa. My kid is not their son to raise. It feels like because 
>>>> I'm
>>>> blind I've lost my role.
>>>>
>>>> I agree that detention does nothing to teach a child right from wrong.
>>>> It's just something for schools because they can't do any spanking or
>>>> smacking of the kid.
>>>>
>>>> I have thought about putting him in a gifted school. But it is like a
>>>> private school. There are less children in each class and the teachers 
>>>> can
>>>> work one on one with each kid. There's a problem with it though. It's 
>>>> not
>>>> close by and it's a bit pricey. They do offer financial aid, but I 
>>>> still
>>>> can't afford it. I really don't like the public school system here.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: jan wright
>>>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 1:19 PM
>>>> To: blparent
>>>> Subject: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>>
>>>> Hi Nikki,
>>>> My take is slightly different and never meant to criticize, so please
>>>> take it for what it is worht.
>>>> If you can use any suggestion: Great! If not, just disregard.
>>>>
>>>> Your son could be tired of school-like activities, especially ones
>>>> that might seem to him to be mundain and have no reason.
>>>> Chores and a scavenger hunt are all great ideas!
>>>> there are also memory games that build on following  directions. the
>>>> directions get more complicated as the game goes on.
>>>> My older children have been through the detention phase and honestly,
>>>> I see very little reason for it.
>>>> There is a silver lining if you can get your child to understand why
>>>> he is there and how he can avoid it: other than that, I find
>>>> detention, much like suspention etc, as ways for school staff to put
>>>> all problems in one room to either punish or not disrupt the "non
>>>> problem" students -- which doesn't exactly help your guy any.
>>>> Most kids in detention just sit and widdle away the time: or make "not
>>>> so good" connections with others who are in detention.
>>>> And, don't get my started on medicating for behavioral purposese. (ugg)
>>>> Maybe your child need a different learning environment.
>>>> I would try to find out if there is a certain time of day when he has
>>>> a hard time following directions,
>>>> what else is going on in the classroom,
>>>> how is he feeling about the work that he is doing,
>>>> .
>>>> when you give your son "something" to do, make sure that he repeats it
>>>> back to you. That will let you know that he understands the direction
>>>> and is cued into you.
>>>> When/if he gets off task, find out why. did he just get distracted or
>>>> is he purposely not doing what he is told because he finds it too much
>>>> effort or boring or whatever???
>>>> Sometimes, it is a good idea if he can write the list himself: and
>>>> make it meaningful.
>>>> For example:
>>>> when I get home, I am to:
>>>> take out the trash (obvious reason for that one),
>>>> pick up my room,
>>>> go through each paper in my bookbag with mom,
>>>> etc.
>>>> Try not to make the tasks so many that he is overwhelmed. Just a
>>>> couple at first.
>>>> And, try to make them easy enough that you can verify if they are
>>>> finished.
>>>> Remind him to look at his list. It will be more interesting if he
>>>> makes it. And, maybe ask him if he thinks there is anything else he
>>>> wants to add.
>>>> Also, show him your to do lists  sometimes. Remind him that we all
>>>> must follow directions. We are all told what to do by "someone"
>>>> And, you could even talk about doing things that you don't necessarily
>>>> want to do, but must.
>>>> Also, maybe he needs some instant gratification for following those
>>>> directions. "When these things are done, you can have your snack."
>>>> then, when he gets off task, you can remind him to look at list and
>>>> remind him of his reward when he is finished.
>>>> Just some thoughts.
>>>> Dr. William Sears has a website:
>>>> www.askdrsears.com
>>>> which might be helpful.
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> blparent mailing list
>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>> blparent:
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40gmail.com
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> blparent mailing list
>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>> blparent:
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/kflsouth%40gmail.com
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blparent mailing list
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> blparent:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40gmail.com
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blparent mailing list
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>>> blparent:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/rebecca.pickrell%40tasc.com
>>> CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message and any attachments or files 
>>> transmitted with it (collectively, the "Message") are intended only for 
>>> the addressee and may contain information that is privileged, 
>>> proprietary and/or prohibited from disclosure by law or contract. If you 
>>> are not the intended recipient: (a) please do not read, copy or 
>>> retransmit the Message; (b) permanently delete and/or destroy all 
>>> electronic and hard copies of the Message; (c) notify us by return 
>>> email; and (d) you are hereby notified that any dissemination, 
>>> distribution or copying of the Message is strictly prohibited.
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blparent mailing list
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>>> blparent:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/kflsouth%40gmail.com
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/theblindtech%40gmail.com
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/kflsouth%40gmail.com 