[blparent] Behavior problems

Kate McEachern kflsouth at gmail.com
Wed Jan 18 04:16:50 UTC 2012 

Cool thanks.
Kate
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:54 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems


> sure send me an email. I'll be happy to help. my contact info is in my 
> signature.
> Gabe Vega - Sent from my Apple Mac Mini
> Hit me up Voice/Text: (623) 565-9357
> Email: theblindtech at gmail.com
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/blindtech
> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/blindtech
> Website: http://thebt.net
>
> On Jan 17, 2012, at 8:44 PM, Kate McEachern wrote:
>
>> Wait, I know off topic.
>>
>> You have a Mac.  Help with voice over?
>>
>> Kate
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 9:57 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>
>>
>>> I agree, not all low income  housing is completely bad. I mean, before I 
>>> became and experienced the success and financial freedom I do today. 
>>> growing up as a child and in to early adult hood I was broke, poor and 
>>> lived in these type of housing invoronments and neighborhoods. and well, 
>>> I just think its wrong for me now to forget where I come from. but now 
>>> that I am in a higher financial bracket doesn't mean I am ammuned to 
>>> ever going back. therfore I am not judgemental and I resent anyone who 
>>> is towards that sort of living environment.
>>> Gabe Vega - Sent from my Apple Mac Mini
>>> Hit me up Voice/Text: (623) 565-9357
>>> Email: theblindtech at gmail.com
>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/blindtech
>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/blindtech
>>> Website: http://thebt.net
>>>
>>> On Jan 17, 2012, at 7:50 PM, Kate McEachern wrote:
>>>
>>>> I would like to point out that not all low income housing is "the 
>>>> hood". Yes, there can be ishues but people want a dry place to stay 
>>>> rather then the park bench and if some one is unhappy they have a right 
>>>> to leave.  We all have the right to make mistakes in life.  And low 
>>>> income housing isn't the end of the housing road.  Its a place to get 
>>>> on your feet and dust yourself off.  Yes some people never get out but 
>>>> that is their choice if that is the house they are happy with then so 
>>>> be it.
>>>>
>>>> Kate
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" 
>>>> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>>>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:27 AM
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Sounds like you may be cutting off your nose to spite your face.
>>>>> Have you been to low income housing? There are good reasons your 
>>>>> parents don't want their grandchild living there.
>>>>> I get that you want to be on your own, but not the expense of your 
>>>>> economic and emotional health and that of your child's.
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>>>>> On Behalf Of Nikki
>>>>> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 5:43 PM
>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>>>
>>>>>  Yes. I'm determined to move out , been planning to do it, but don't 
>>>>> know
>>>>> where to look for such an agency. I don't want my parents help because 
>>>>> mthey
>>>>> have made it clear to me that they don't want their grandson in a low 
>>>>> income
>>>>> housing. So, I'm being tugged at from all directions. My son has told 
>>>>> me he
>>>>> doesn't want to move with out them or he'll be sad. I told him that we 
>>>>> can't
>>>>> live here forever and grandma doesn't want us here forever either.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: Kate McEachern
>>>>> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 3:50 PM
>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>>>
>>>>> I think with your current situation it will be difficult to get back 
>>>>> control
>>>>> of your son. You have allowed your parents to parent your child and 
>>>>> now you
>>>>> wish they would just stay out of it. You should consider moving out 
>>>>> with
>>>>> your son and parenting on your own so that your parents have a brake. 
>>>>> I
>>>>> think you should see if there are agencies that help low income 
>>>>> Mothers and
>>>>> children find housing rather then asking your parents to help.
>>>>>
>>>>> As the parent of a gifted child I can tell you that having three 
>>>>> adults
>>>>> arguing over discipline has given him a window to work with to get 
>>>>> what he
>>>>> wants and for his benefit you should tell your Dad to back off and 
>>>>> stay out
>>>>> of it.
>>>>>
>>>>> Gifted kids are sensitive and hardheaded at the same time most ESE 
>>>>> programs
>>>>> will allow gifted children to see a guidance counselor once or twice a 
>>>>> week
>>>>> to help with issues with regard to playing with children and how the 
>>>>> child
>>>>> feels with the running of the family. My gifted 9 year old is seeing a
>>>>> guidance counselor and this has been wonderful for our family. It has 
>>>>> helped
>>>>> with classroom behavior and behavior at home. Don't parent gifted 
>>>>> children
>>>>> the same as average children trust me it doesn't work.
>>>>>
>>>>> HTH.
>>>>>
>>>>> Kate
>>>>>
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at gmail.com>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 6:00 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>  Thank you for all the advice.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> My son brought home another bad report today. I had him do that 
>>>>>> follow the
>>>>>> directions, when he got home.
>>>>>> I just have a few questions. I know that punishment should fit the 
>>>>>> crime,
>>>>>> but papa doesn't think taking him out of soccer is a good idea. He's
>>>>>> concerned about physical activity. Then there's the completely 
>>>>>> removing
>>>>>> the Nintendo Wii all together. or the one that makes my son cry hard,
>>>>>> taking away a favorite stuffed animal that was a Christmas gift.
>>>>>> What do you think I should do?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> When my son cries, it is heart breaking and then I don't know what to 
>>>>>> do.
>>>>>> I want to be the one who punishes not my parents. They are only 
>>>>>> grandma
>>>>>> and grandpa. My kid is not their son to raise. It feels like because 
>>>>>> I'm
>>>>>> blind I've lost my role.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I agree that detention does nothing to teach a child right from 
>>>>>> wrong.
>>>>>> It's just something for schools because they can't do any spanking or
>>>>>> smacking of the kid.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I have thought about putting him in a gifted school. But it is like a
>>>>>> private school. There are less children in each class and the 
>>>>>> teachers can
>>>>>> work one on one with each kid. There's a problem with it though. It's 
>>>>>> not
>>>>>> close by and it's a bit pricey. They do offer financial aid, but I 
>>>>>> still
>>>>>> can't afford it. I really don't like the public school system here.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: jan wright
>>>>>> Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 1:19 PM
>>>>>> To: blparent
>>>>>> Subject: [blparent] Behavior problems
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Nikki,
>>>>>> My take is slightly different and never meant to criticize, so please
>>>>>> take it for what it is worht.
>>>>>> If you can use any suggestion: Great! If not, just disregard.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Your son could be tired of school-like activities, especially ones
>>>>>> that might seem to him to be mundain and have no reason.
>>>>>> Chores and a scavenger hunt are all great ideas!
>>>>>> there are also memory games that build on following  directions. the
>>>>>> directions get more complicated as the game goes on.
>>>>>> My older children have been through the detention phase and honestly,
>>>>>> I see very little reason for it.
>>>>>> There is a silver lining if you can get your child to understand why
>>>>>> he is there and how he can avoid it: other than that, I find
>>>>>> detention, much like suspention etc, as ways for school staff to put
>>>>>> all problems in one room to either punish or not disrupt the "non
>>>>>> problem" students -- which doesn't exactly help your guy any.
>>>>>> Most kids in detention just sit and widdle away the time: or make 
>>>>>> "not
>>>>>> so good" connections with others who are in detention.
>>>>>> And, don't get my started on medicating for behavioral purposese. 
>>>>>> (ugg)
>>>>>> Maybe your child need a different learning environment.
>>>>>> I would try to find out if there is a certain time of day when he has
>>>>>> a hard time following directions,
>>>>>> what else is going on in the classroom,
>>>>>> how is he feeling about the work that he is doing,
>>>>>> .
>>>>>> when you give your son "something" to do, make sure that he repeats 
>>>>>> it
>>>>>> back to you. That will let you know that he understands the direction
>>>>>> and is cued into you.
>>>>>> When/if he gets off task, find out why. did he just get distracted or
>>>>>> is he purposely not doing what he is told because he finds it too 
>>>>>> much
>>>>>> effort or boring or whatever???
>>>>>> Sometimes, it is a good idea if he can write the list himself: and
>>>>>> make it meaningful.
>>>>>> For example:
>>>>>> when I get home, I am to:
>>>>>> take out the trash (obvious reason for that one),
>>>>>> pick up my room,
>>>>>> go through each paper in my bookbag with mom,
>>>>>> etc.
>>>>>> Try not to make the tasks so many that he is overwhelmed. Just a
>>>>>> couple at first.
>>>>>> And, try to make them easy enough that you can verify if they are
>>>>>> finished.
>>>>>> Remind him to look at his list. It will be more interesting if he
>>>>>> makes it. And, maybe ask him if he thinks there is anything else he
>>>>>> wants to add.
>>>>>> Also, show him your to do lists  sometimes. Remind him that we all
>>>>>> must follow directions. We are all told what to do by "someone"
>>>>>> And, you could even talk about doing things that you don't 
>>>>>> necessarily
>>>>>> want to do, but must.
>>>>>> Also, maybe he needs some instant gratification for following those
>>>>>> directions. "When these things are done, you can have your snack."
>>>>>> then, when he gets off task, you can remind him to look at list and
>>>>>> remind him of his reward when he is finished.
>>>>>> Just some thoughts.
>>>>>> Dr. William Sears has a website:
>>>>>> www.askdrsears.com
>>>>>> which might be helpful.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
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>>>>>
>>>>>
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>>>>
>>>>
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>>
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