[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike! (step-families)
Sean Paul
newsandtraffic at aol.com
Wed Jun 6 19:45:22 UTC 2012
I think you ultimately just hit the nail on the head there. The real issue
here seems to be between you & dad. That is an issue which you & he are
going to have to resolve before the other issue @ hand here can be resolved.
Again, good luck.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 15:35
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike! (step-families)
> We have that arrangement, in theory, meaning I take any major problems to
> Dad. But Dad tends to be way more lax then I am about what the
> housekeeping terms will be, beyond putting dinner dishes in the
> dishwasher. So when I've taken the issue to him, he hasn't done much
> about it. Just in talking this through, I'm thinking maybe the issue is
> one between me and Dad, but it's a sticky one that isn't easy to resolve.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a
> song." Maya Angelou
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Sean Paul" <newsandtraffic at aol.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 1:28 PM
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
>> I know when my current wife & I married. Which meant she became a step
>> mom. I sat my boys down the first weekend that they came to stay with us
>> before we were even married & explained with her sitting there what was &
>> is continued to be expected of them. We also agreed that if there was an
>> issue with them unless it was life or death. She'd speak with me first
>> regarding said issue. Not meaning that if she told them to pick up
>> something. As, they understood that they were to pick it up. But, that if
>> she asked them several times & they didn't. She would come to me & I'd
>> handle from there. I guess what I'm saying exactly that if there was & is
>> any major discipline to be handed out. We agreed that I'd be the one to
>> do that. We've had very few issues with this arrangement.
>> Good luck going foreword.
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "sharon howerton" <shrnhow at att.net>
>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 13:33
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>
>>
>>> This whole thread reminds me of what I felt when my sons were young as
>>> their dad didn't care one way or the other about keeping things neat,
>>> etc. To me, there needs to be a united front of both parents, natural or
>>> otherwise, about what is expected at home. For me it was continual
>>> frustration to the point that after 20 years of marriage, I filed for
>>> divorce and left, probably to the amazement of my two sons and their
>>> dad. To me you have an unenviable situation, , Jo Elizabeth, since this
>>> is not your own son, he gets one message from you, one from his mom and
>>> probably something from his dad, not to mention how he lived when he was
>>> younger. Then you throw in the blindness component you have when he
>>> leaves stuff around. With his mom and dad it wouldn't matter; for us,
>>> it's a huge pain and ongoing annoyance when you have to pick up things,
>>> trip or step over them, spill things, etc. Good luck.
>>> Sharon
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 12:18 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>
>>>
>>>> Little pizzas might be a good idea. The dishes thing is interesting--I
>>>> did stop him from leaving half full drinks sitting around where they
>>>> could be, and were often, knocked over. I said if I had to clean up
>>>> one more spill I was going to take all the cups and glasses out of the
>>>> kitchen and leave only sippies. I would have done it, too, but so far
>>>> I haven't had to. Also, I have an empty Pringles can in my utensil
>>>> drawer, and all of the steak knives go into that can so I don't reach
>>>> into the drawer and grab one of the blades by accident. I did take all
>>>> of the knives and put them in a hiding place, and when I returned them
>>>> to the drawer, I haven't had any more trouble with the blades not going
>>>> into the Pringles can.
>>>>
>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>>
>>>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has
>>>> a song." Maya Angelou
>>>>
>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 11:04 AM
>>>> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>>
>>>>> To put a more positive spin on this, maybe his mom enjoys
>>>>> waiting on him or maybe she's got some control issues and he's gotten
>>>>> yelled at for not doing things exactly as she would do them?
>>>>>
>>>>> Not that you need to put up with this, but you may not know what went
>>>>> on or goes on when he's with his mom.
>>>>> If he was living with me, I'd first tell him what I expect. Then if he
>>>>> ignored me, I'd make him feel the pain. If dishes don't go where they
>>>>> need to, well, he must not care so he doesn't get a place set at the
>>>>> next meal because that requires clean dishes. If his clothes are
>>>>> everywhere, well he must not need them clean.
>>>>>
>>>>> Also, I'd probably have made Sarah a nonpizza lunch and explained to
>>>>> her that you're trying to train her silly stepbrother. I say this
>>>>> because he's just figured out that if Sarah wants something you'll do
>>>>> it. That's not technically fair to Sarah but it also isn't fair that
>>>>> you fee like the maid and all of you need to realize you live as a
>>>>> group.
>>>>>
>>>>> If you just can't say no to pizza, can you get little pizzas, only big
>>>>> enough for one so Sarah can have hers and stepson can go without?
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 5:12 PM
>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi. Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is
>>>>> living with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the
>>>>> weekends. It's a workable arrangement, except for one thing. I think
>>>>> my stepson is used to his mom pretty much waiting on him. Like today,
>>>>> he wanted a frozen pizza for lunch, but he made no move to get up and
>>>>> make it. I finally did the job because Sarah wanted some too. He
>>>>> doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher, or if he does, they're not
>>>>> rinsed first. He doesn't see a problem with clothes all over the
>>>>> floor. The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>>>
>>>>> Any tips for how to deal with older kids? Sarah's young enough that
>>>>> she pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has to
>>>>> put dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper. But my stepson is
>>>>> driving me crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my house
>>>>> from getting to look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.
>>>>>
>>>>> Run ragged,
>>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>>>
>>>>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has
>>>>> a song." Maya Angelou
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>>>>
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