[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike! (step-families)

Sean Paul newsandtraffic at aol.com
Wed Jun 6 19:45:22 UTC 2012 

I think you ultimately just hit the nail on the head there. The real issue 
here seems to be between you & dad. That is an issue which you & he are 
going to have to resolve before the other issue @ hand here can be resolved. 
Again, good luck.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 15:35
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike! (step-families)


> We have that arrangement, in theory, meaning I take any major problems to 
> Dad.  But Dad tends to be way more lax then I am about what the 
> housekeeping terms will be, beyond putting dinner dishes in the 
> dishwasher.  So when I've taken the issue to him, he hasn't done much 
> about it.  Just in talking this through, I'm thinking maybe the issue is 
> one between me and Dad, but it's a sticky one that isn't easy to resolve.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a 
> song."  Maya Angelou
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Sean Paul" <newsandtraffic at aol.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 1:28 PM
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
>> I know when my current wife & I married. Which meant she became a step 
>> mom. I sat my boys down the first weekend that they came to stay with us 
>> before we were even married & explained with her sitting there what was & 
>> is continued to be expected of them. We also agreed that if there was an 
>> issue with them unless it was life or death. She'd speak with me first 
>> regarding said issue. Not meaning that if she told them to pick up 
>> something. As, they understood that they were to pick it up. But, that if 
>> she asked them several times & they didn't. She would come to me & I'd 
>> handle from there. I guess what I'm saying exactly that if there was & is 
>> any major discipline to be handed out. We agreed that I'd be the one to 
>> do that. We've had very few issues with this arrangement.
>> Good luck going foreword.
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "sharon howerton" <shrnhow at att.net>
>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 13:33
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>
>>
>>> This whole thread reminds me of what I felt when my sons were young as 
>>> their dad didn't care one way or the other about keeping things neat, 
>>> etc. To me, there needs to be a united front of both parents, natural or 
>>> otherwise, about what is expected at home. For me it was continual 
>>> frustration to the point that after 20 years of marriage, I filed for 
>>> divorce and left, probably to the amazement of my two sons and their 
>>> dad. To me you have an unenviable situation, , Jo Elizabeth, since this 
>>> is not your own son, he gets one message from you, one from his mom and 
>>> probably something from his dad, not to mention how he lived when he was 
>>> younger. Then you throw in the blindness component you have when he 
>>> leaves stuff around. With his mom and dad it wouldn't matter; for us, 
>>> it's a huge pain and ongoing annoyance when you have to pick up things, 
>>> trip or step over them, spill things, etc. Good luck.
>>> Sharon
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 12:18 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>
>>>
>>>> Little pizzas might be a good idea.  The dishes thing is interesting--I 
>>>> did stop him from leaving half full drinks sitting around where they 
>>>> could be, and were often, knocked over.  I said if I had to clean up 
>>>> one more spill I was going to take all the cups and glasses out of the 
>>>> kitchen and leave only sippies.  I would have done it, too, but so far 
>>>> I haven't had to.  Also, I have an empty Pringles can in my utensil 
>>>> drawer, and all of the steak knives go into that can so I don't reach 
>>>> into the drawer and grab one of the blades by accident.  I did take all 
>>>> of the knives and put them in a hiding place, and when I returned them 
>>>> to the drawer, I haven't had any more trouble with the blades not going 
>>>> into the Pringles can.
>>>>
>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>>
>>>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has 
>>>> a song."  Maya Angelou
>>>>
>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 11:04 AM
>>>> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>>
>>>>>        To put a more positive spin on this, maybe his mom enjoys 
>>>>> waiting on him or maybe she's got some control issues and he's gotten 
>>>>> yelled at for not doing things exactly as she would do them?
>>>>>
>>>>> Not that you need to put up with this, but you may not know what went 
>>>>> on or goes on when he's with his mom.
>>>>> If he was living with me, I'd first tell him what I expect. Then if he 
>>>>> ignored me, I'd make him feel the pain.  If dishes don't go where they 
>>>>> need to, well, he must not care so he doesn't get a place set at the 
>>>>> next meal because that requires clean dishes.  If his clothes are 
>>>>> everywhere, well he must not need them clean.
>>>>>
>>>>> Also, I'd probably have made Sarah a nonpizza lunch and explained to 
>>>>> her that you're trying to train her silly stepbrother.  I say this 
>>>>> because he's just figured out that if Sarah wants something you'll do 
>>>>> it. That's not technically fair to Sarah but it also isn't fair that 
>>>>> you fee like the maid and all of you need to realize you live as a 
>>>>> group.
>>>>>
>>>>> If you just can't say no to pizza, can you get little pizzas, only big 
>>>>> enough for one so Sarah can have hers and stepson can go without?
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>>>>> On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 5:12 PM
>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi.  Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is 
>>>>> living with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the 
>>>>> weekends. It's a workable arrangement, except for one thing.  I think 
>>>>> my stepson is used to his mom pretty much waiting on him.  Like today, 
>>>>> he wanted a frozen pizza for lunch, but he made no move to get up and 
>>>>> make it.  I finally did the job because Sarah wanted some too.  He 
>>>>> doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher, or if he does, they're not 
>>>>> rinsed first. He doesn't see a problem with clothes all over the 
>>>>> floor.  The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>>>
>>>>> Any tips for how to deal with older kids?  Sarah's young enough that 
>>>>> she pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has to 
>>>>> put dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.  But my stepson is 
>>>>> driving me crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my house 
>>>>> from getting to look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.
>>>>>
>>>>> Run ragged,
>>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>>>
>>>>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has 
>>>>> a song."  Maya Angelou
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>>>>
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