[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Jennifer Jackson jennifersjackson at att.net
Wed Jun 6 17:19:05 UTC 2012 

This is a positive step though. At least he is willing to make some changes
and that speaks positively to your ability to get other changes. This really
is normal behavior for a boy that age and is not just about him having two
different standards for home life.


Jennifer

original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 1:46 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Hi, Sharon.  I'm not ready to pack up and leave, but I could sure see how it

might happen.  This morning, Stephen left a blanket on the floor that I 
tripped on, and he left his cell phone on the floor, and I stepped on it. 
The other thing that's hard is that he will pleasantly say, okay, I heard 
you, and then go on doing whatever he wants, or not doing what I asked.  The

reason for that is because in an earlier discussion of what was expected, I 
told him I wanted some verbal acknowledgment that he heard me, so I knew 
that I wasn't just talking to myself.  Of course, I had hoped that the 
verbal acknowledgment would be followed by action ... silly me.

Jo Elizabeth

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a 
song."  Maya Angelou

--------------------------------------------------
From: "sharon howerton" <shrnhow at att.net>
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 11:33 AM
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

> This whole thread reminds me of what I felt when my sons were young as 
> their dad didn't care one way or the other about keeping things neat, etc.

> To me, there needs to be a united front of both parents, natural or 
> otherwise, about what is expected at home. For me it was continual 
> frustration to the point that after 20 years of marriage, I filed for 
> divorce and left, probably to the amazement of my two sons and their dad. 
> To me you have an unenviable situation, , Jo Elizabeth, since this is not 
> your own son, he gets one message from you, one from his mom and probably 
> something from his dad, not to mention how he lived when he was younger. 
> Then you throw in the blindness component you have when he leaves stuff 
> around. With his mom and dad it wouldn't matter; for us, it's a huge pain 
> and ongoing annoyance when you have to pick up things, trip or step over 
> them, spill things, etc. Good luck.
> Sharon
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 12:18 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
>
>> Little pizzas might be a good idea.  The dishes thing is interesting--I 
>> did stop him from leaving half full drinks sitting around where they 
>> could be, and were often, knocked over.  I said if I had to clean up one 
>> more spill I was going to take all the cups and glasses out of the 
>> kitchen and leave only sippies.  I would have done it, too, but so far I 
>> haven't had to.  Also, I have an empty Pringles can in my utensil drawer,

>> and all of the steak knives go into that can so I don't reach into the 
>> drawer and grab one of the blades by accident.  I did take all of the 
>> knives and put them in a hiding place, and when I returned them to the 
>> drawer, I haven't had any more trouble with the blades not going into the

>> Pringles can.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a 
>> song."  Maya Angelou
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 11:04 AM
>> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>
>>>        To put a more positive spin on this, maybe his mom enjoys waiting

>>> on him or maybe she's got some control issues and he's gotten yelled at 
>>> for not doing things exactly as she would do them?
>>>
>>> Not that you need to put up with this, but you may not know what went on

>>> or goes on when he's with his mom.
>>> If he was living with me, I'd first tell him what I expect. Then if he 
>>> ignored me, I'd make him feel the pain.  If dishes don't go where they 
>>> need to, well, he must not care so he doesn't get a place set at the 
>>> next meal because that requires clean dishes.  If his clothes are 
>>> everywhere, well he must not need them clean.
>>>
>>> Also, I'd probably have made Sarah a nonpizza lunch and explained to her

>>> that you're trying to train her silly stepbrother.  I say this because 
>>> he's just figured out that if Sarah wants something you'll do it. 
>>> That's not technically fair to Sarah but it also isn't fair that you fee

>>> like the maid and all of you need to realize you live as a group.
>>>
>>> If you just can't say no to pizza, can you get little pizzas, only big 
>>> enough for one so Sarah can have hers and stepson can go without?
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>>> On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>>> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 5:12 PM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>>
>>> Hi.  Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is 
>>> living with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the 
>>> weekends. It's a workable arrangement, except for one thing.  I think my

>>> stepson is used to his mom pretty much waiting on him.  Like today, he 
>>> wanted a frozen pizza for lunch, but he made no move to get up and make 
>>> it.  I finally did the job because Sarah wanted some too.  He doesn't 
>>> put dishes in the dishwasher, or if he does, they're not rinsed first. 
>>> He doesn't see a problem with clothes all over the floor.  The maid 
>>> wants to go on strike!
>>>
>>> Any tips for how to deal with older kids?  Sarah's young enough that she

>>> pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has to put 
>>> dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.  But my stepson is driving

>>> me crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my house from getting

>>> to look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.
>>>
>>> Run ragged,
>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>
>>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a

>>> song."  Maya Angelou
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